to not understand why someone wouldn't report and challenge a drunk driver?(41 Posts)
This is inspired by a current thread but it's also something I question quite frequently as it comes up on MN from time to time.
I just don't understand why anyone wouldn't do something when they know someone drinks and drives, particulaly if they see it happening or travel in a drinker's car. I'm not anti alcohol, I have a glass of wine beside me as I type but I feel strongly about drink-driving.
Here's why. It's taken from a response to another poster tonight but is also something I have often said one way or another over the years I've been a member of MN:
My 17 year old cousin was a back seat passenger of a sober driver. His name was Kenny. A drunk driver jumped red lights and smashed into the car in which Kenny was travelling.
Kenny became a human vegetable that day.
Kenny's mum sat with him in hospital for a week before she had to consent to something no mother should ever have to do... to turn off the life support system on her adored, once so vibrant, kind and gentle firstborn son. And then she had to bury him.
My cousin lies cold and dead in Canadian ground because of a drunk driver.
Like me and Kenny's other English family, our elderly Nanny and Grandad weren't able to get over there to say their last goodbyes to the lad they had visited often and whom they loved dearly, as did we all.
WHY? Why dither about reporting and challenging a drunk driver? No excuses. None of this "But they need their car, they live in a village". People cope without a car in a village. I do, with DC as a lone parent and wihout support.
What I couldn't cope with is being without one of my children, as mu Aunt has to every day of her life. Nor could I cope with knowing that someone died and I could have prevented it.
And I don't give a shit that this is a fred about a fred
YANBU. Nothing to add. You've said it all.
YANBU I don't understand it either
So sorry to read this
I reported a drink driver to the Police once...gave the reg and full description of the car...even which direction it was headed and where the final destination was going to be.
They told me they wouldn't/couldn't act on the info but that the drunk driver would 'probably be spotted and pulled over'
It boils my piss.
Infact if someone knows someone who is drink driving and does not report them, when they kill someone (lets face it - they are rarely lucky enough to kill themselves, just innocents) then they should be charged with accomplice to murder.
Glad I'm not alone in this. TBH I half expected to be flamed or to hear excuses for drink driving or for not reporting it (though there's always time <<wry grin>> ).
I just feel so, so strongly about this. There's NO excuse. None.
Completely agree DBF. It's everyone's responsibility to report drunk-driving when they see it.
Hear hear. There's NEVER ANY excuse ... none, nothing, no ifs, no buts.
Regardless of whether the police take action or not, you, as an individual keep reporting, each and EVERY time you suspect/know this is happening. Then your conscience is clear. If you have any doubt at all over something as potentially disastrous as this, you certainly don't give the driver the benefit of it .... you still report and let the authorities decide if there's a case to answer. I can't think of a single excuse/reason why condoning drink driving is ever okay and anyone who's ever failed to report should feel utterly ashamed of themselves.
I was hit by a drunk driver who was speeding and lost control. My car was a write off and I amazingly escaped with cuts and (very painful) bruises. All the professionals who saw my car said I was v lucky to live. The whole thing turned my life upside-down for over a year. I was a wreck. I still get the jitters when I see a black car come towards me going a bit too fast.
So no. Yanbu.
Catsmother says it all ..... There is NO excuse at all.
YANBU at all! There really is no excuse
I love a drink and I love to drive but never ever together and wouldn't hesitate to report a person I knew to be drunk.
As to whether I'd approach them and try and remove their keys... I'm not sure I would, depending on the situation.
I am always alarmed how many people still drink and drive, and how many people are unaware what the limits are, but still have a couple. If you don't know the limit you should be having anything, and personally, I think the limit should be zero.
Agree Aldi ..... the whole limit thing is confusing at best as it's not as simple as saying you're okay if you only drink xx units. The limits are all based on mgs of alcohol in blood, urine or breath (and these limits are each different). How the average person is therefore able to convert that into actual drinks I don't know, and a lot depends on your body size, whether you've eaten recently (i.e. how quickly alcohol is absorbed). By far the safest thing is simply not to drink AT ALL if you're driving ... it's hardly a huge sacrifice to go without 2 or 3 drinks compared to sacrificing lives or causing devastating injuries.
I completely agree OP. I also hope that in my lifetime, the same disgust that is currrently levelled at drunk drivers, is applied to people that drive whilst on their mobile/texting. Having lost someone dear to me due to this.
Yanbu. I've lost family members (although I didn't actually know them) due to drink driving.
My dads cousin and her partner had 5 kids, they went to the pub one night in the car, taking the 2 youngest (18mo boy and 7yo girl) with them leaving the others at home. The 2 kids stayed in the car and the 2 adults went in the pub, had a few drinks then had a row. He stormed out and took the car and kids (neither strapped in) and zoomed away. He was going that fast he managed to flip the car a few times and skid through a whole field before stopping.
They found the baby impaled on a hedge, he spent quite some time in intensive care but is now alive and well. They found most of the girl on the farm track they had flipped over, and the rest of her in the field. She didn't make it.
The baby and other 3 kids are now in care, the guy driving is in prison, and the woman was in prison but is now out.
This is a true story, it happened about 9 or 10 years ago.
buggered up my brackets
that's how I am..
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don't understand it either.
I've had to go as far as threatening to report friends of friends to stop them driving home. I think at first they thought I was joking when I said they would phone the police if they got in the car, I wasn't joking.
OH's little brother was killed by a drunk driver as a child. Incident above precedes me knowing OH but makes me even more sure that reporting is the right thing to do.
My teens friends are all new drivers and when they go out I check check check that no driver intends to drink too! They are very confused about how much they are allowed
So we have new drivers+ small ish amount of alcohol+ teens new to drinking= accident waiting to happen.
Dd has stopped going out so much now, but Christmas is coming, new drink/ drive campaign too no doubt. All we can do is keep driving that message home!
Could not agree more. My dad was killed in a car accident where the driver was over the limit (although not drunk). I was 3.5 and my borther was almost 2. So I've grown up without a dad because someone chose to have a couple of drinks then drive. So, no excuses. Ever.
Spookhetti for that poor little girl but I don't understand why the woman was in prison, was it for knowing that her partner was drink driving and failing to report it?
In the country pub where I used to work it was the older generation who were the most stubborn... they "knew their limit" and that was enough for them, when they'd "had enough, but weren't drunk" they'd drive home. Sometimes I'd catch them and take their keys away, and phone a taxi for them, but was often threatened with the sack for it, even though my boss was supportive, a number of the old boys were magistrates or professional people, and thought they could scare me. As if.
The younger ones, the drivers tended not to drink at all, OR be unsure of whether they could have a second pint, they weren't as blazé about it as the older boys.
You can't alway stop a drunk driver from driving. From personal experience, a close family member is an alcoholic and I just can't stop them from driving. I've tried, with the support of their GP, to get their driving licence revoked, but they managed to get away with it, probably lying. No-one seems to be able to make them stop. They have even been stopped, and arrested by the Police in the past, vowed to stop doing it, but are still in denial about the drink driving, and will probably carry on forever. I can't make them stop, and it sickens me to think that one day they may be involved in a serious accident.
Join the discussion
Please login first.