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To feel like a bad mum because I find it hard to role play with DS?

(31 Posts)
PollyPeppa Fri 16-Sep-11 20:42:05

DS often begs me to play with him. He loves role play games and I seem to have lost the ability to play since becoming an adult!!! I read to him, we go places & play other kind sof games but these are his favourites and I feel like a bad mum because I find it so hard and get so bored playing them blush ... DH on the other hand is a whizz at voices and imaginative play which makes me look even worse!!! AIBU?

MrsLovely Fri 16-Sep-11 20:44:53

Well if you are, so am I.... I can't bear role play, find it really boring and usually look for an excuse to do something else! Luckily my DD1 is old enough now to have friends round to role play merrily with, and DD2 is too little to care!

thecaptaincrocfamily Fri 16-Sep-11 20:46:26

No YANBU and not everyone is good at everything smile I hate baking but fortunately DH does. If between you both he is getting what he needs and likes then there is no hardship for him ..........you sound like a lovely mum smile lots of dc don't get any attention. sad FWIW I also am hopeless at role play and pretending .....might manage doctors and nurses or shop, but nothing imaginative.

AgentZigzag Fri 16-Sep-11 20:47:22

YABU.

I made the mistake of doing a treasure hunt for DD1 when she was about 5, I then had to endure three odd years of her badgering me to do more.

It's good you and your DH compliment each other to do different stuff with him.

Y'big dafty smile

barneyisthedevilindisguise Fri 16-Sep-11 20:48:37

My DH is the best role player out of the two of us, he will happily play for hours. I prefer the reading and crafty stuff too. I will play for ages with mega blocks and lego.... we just manage to do the stuff we are good at, anyway my 6yo has told me I am rubbish at playing army and Dad is the best!

You are not a rubbish mum

PollyPeppa Fri 16-Sep-11 20:49:13

Yes I did 'shop' quite well today! Just don't want to be the parent who is rubbish at playing

PollyPeppa Fri 16-Sep-11 20:50:22

I remember being amazing at rold play as a kid, what the hell happened?! I find it so difficult!

Besom Fri 16-Sep-11 20:51:45

It is boring, I find it boring so you're not alone there. Especially as it's often quite prescriptive from their point of view - do this mummy, talk like this not like that etc. And it's usually when you're tired or trying to make the dinner.

I've recently read the book 'playful parenting' which has been quite good in encouraging me to play more often and to sort of break through the boredom barrier. The more you do it the more you loosen up and start enjoying it.

barneyisthedevilindisguise Fri 16-Sep-11 20:52:48

in my defence, I think I am rubbish at playing army cos I don't agree with the actual shooting, while Daddy is just the big kid that acts like a six year old grin

southeastastra Fri 16-Sep-11 20:53:24

get them lots of dollies and teddies to role play with grin

i don't remember my mum ever playing with us, we just got on with it grin

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Fri 16-Sep-11 20:54:27

Have a look at the book Playful Parenting. It's got interesting insights in the value and meaning of play for children, and why we 9me included) might find play difficult, but also how vital it is.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Fri 16-Sep-11 20:54:58

Sorry - I see Besom already mentioned it

PollyPeppa Fri 16-Sep-11 20:55:11

I get quite into jumping on the trampoline and reading doing funny voices but the " please mummy play with me" really tugs on the heartstrings!

AgentZigzag Fri 16-Sep-11 20:56:46

How old is your DS?

DD1 used to tell me stories when I was doing the housework or walking anywhere, very little imput from me and it'd harness her chatterboxness grin

PollyPeppa Fri 16-Sep-11 20:56:55

DS and his sister play for hours and hours with their teddies, failing that DH will play with DS so he's not missing out, I just feel like a bit of a dick for not being able to do it!

PollyPeppa Fri 16-Sep-11 20:57:46

He's 3 smile

You are not a bad mum.

You have to play to your strengths and it took me a long time of beating myself up to discover this, for the longest time I thought I had to be brilliant at all aspects of parenting.

Years later I can happily report that I am fab at cuddles, stories, making up nonsence songs and crafty stuff.

Everything else I am okay at, on a good day, maybe smile

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Fri 16-Sep-11 21:00:54

Good point WTWTA

me: singing, explaining, listening playing board games, snuggling

not so good: baking, messy play

ChippingIn Fri 16-Sep-11 21:01:57

Polly - I will do limited 'role playing' (being the lady in the cafe/lady in the shop etc) I will not be a fairy, dog or whatever. I also can't stand being told & corrected constantly about what 'the lady' wants/says etc - at that point I say that if they want a parrot they should play with the mirror smile

Like you I'll do lots of other things endlessly - but not this. It's a good age to learn 'No, I don't want to do that, I don't enjoy it - but we can do x, y or z if you want to' they are getting your time & attention but start to realise they can't always control the situation - which is a skill they all need to learn and it will help them with friends as well - and to assert themselves when friends want to play things they don't enjoy - well, that's my theory & I'm sticking to it!! grin

There was a thread on here a while ago (18 months ago maybe) about playing with kids - it was really interesting. You could try the Advance Search you might find it.

Meglet Fri 16-Sep-11 21:05:26

Yabu. You can't be a whizz at every part of parenting.

I do educational, factual stuff. Imaginative role play baffles me.

PollyPeppa Fri 16-Sep-11 21:08:50

ChippingIn - rofl! grin

Besom Fri 16-Sep-11 21:10:11

Sorry nothing to do with the thread but Getawayfromheryoubitch - I love your name.

Tamdin Fri 16-Sep-11 21:37:09

I agree with chippingin. From around the age of 3 I told ds1 I am happy to draw, play with playdough or play Lego etc but I don't want to play cars, builders or army ( barney army is the worst isn't it!). I think it has helped him be more compromising in playing with friends. (he's now nearly 6)

Beamur Fri 16-Sep-11 21:41:26

If this is the mark of rubbishness then I'm rubbish too. I hate role playing games and can usually manage one round of whatever it is that DD wants to play - she loves it and wants to play again and again and again and I run away shouting NO Mummy doesn't want to play that anymore! Cue v grumpy face from DD. My Mum is great and much more patient than me and DP is fab at inventing new games so overall she does ok. grin

Beamur Fri 16-Sep-11 21:42:36

This is actually a very reassuring thread for all of us role play refusniks.

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