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to want to kill DH for his insistance nothing bad could possibly have happened?

(30 Posts)
irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 03:16:57

YOU WILL NOTE it is after 3am.

The car alarm just went off. I was bolt upright in seconds (it's a very old-style loud alarm), being a light sleeper. DH was sleeping in just pants and I was in PJs so after some fumbling around trying to get the car keys after yesterday's jeans I went down and was at the car within a minute or two.

The driver side door was open. It is a very old car and a total wreck - not worth more than £300 if that - but there's lots of fancy cars in the area and we're on the 'stumbling home' route from the High St for the billions of well-heeled young professionals (usually much bigger wankers than the people who live in the nearby 'rough' estates), too. Despite being a pile of crap our car has had windows smashed and other gratuitious damage in the past - perhaps because it's a bit beaten-up? Who knows. Anyway.

I didn't touch the door in case of fingerprints. Got the alarm off and looked around. At this point DH arrived and immediately insisted that "it was probably the wind" and he'd "probably left the door unlocked and the wind had opened it".

Car was parked up about 10 hours ago btw. Plenty of time for the wind to miraculously open the door.

He opened the door, we checked the inside, locked it and went back inside. for some reason I was totally furious that H kept insisting that my explanation (someone had yanked the door and been alarmed by the, well, alarm and legged it), was somehow LESS LIKELY than his having left the car unlocked (the alarm would've gone off), and 'the wind' opening the door ten hours later.

I kept saying "I think it was more likely to have been a person", and he KEPT SAYING "no I don't see why really".

I sent him back to bed but was properly ready to have a giant row! He's now snoring of course while I am meerkatting in case the alarm goes off again.

WHY am I so angry? WHY is he insisting that nothing bad could possibly have happened? What's in it for him, to believe it was 'the wind'?!


BaldPlumber Mon 12-Sep-11 03:26:51

So, all that was wrong was that the door was open and you did not want to touch the door handle as this would prevent the police from taking fingerprints?

Get a grip!

irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 03:30:47

I was perfectly happy to open the door once I'd established nothing had been broken/taken.

You think that someone potentially breaking into a car isn't worth thinking twice about?

DecapitatedLegoman Mon 12-Sep-11 03:33:40


2blessed2bstressed Mon 12-Sep-11 03:34:47

YANBU. Of course it was a person! Perhaps your dh is trying to stop you worrying about it, since the car hasn't actually been damaged, or had the stereo ripped out, so he is (mistakenly) doing a kind of "least said soonest mended" type thing. Perhaps he thinks that if he agreed with you, you'd have insisted on phoning the police and he wouldn't have been able to go back to bed?
Baldplumber - I'd've done that too since at that point op didn't know that nothing from inside car had been stolen/damaged.

irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 03:38:45

We didn't call the police when the window was smashed or any of that stuff - it was the fact it was just a minute or two after the alarm went off/door was opened (thought I might catch a glimpse of whoever it was), and I wasn't sure what had happened which made me hesitate, which H knew.

I'm not really a worrier at all - which H knows. It just seemed so pointless to insist that his unlikely explanation was somehow more credible than mine - like he was doing it on purpose to be contrary. Drives me MAD.

I've noticed that he does that on occasion - says "no it wasn't" when I talk about a negative/whatever situation, even when he wasn't there (so I have to explain it before he'll deign to agree that something bad did or might've happened). Infuriating! What would he have lost by saying "yeah it was probably a person" instead of saying it was the fucking wind?!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 12-Sep-11 03:39:18

Your dh most probably left the car unlocked and some chancer came along and opened the doo,r thus setting off the alarm.

The only thing that's in it for your dh is that he may think that by claiming the wind set the alarm off you won't hone in on his forgefulness.

irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 03:44:04

He was totally copping to leaving the car unlocked though - which would've set the alarm off just after we left the car as it has some kind of timer thing.

It's a rubbish car and you can force the door open easily (apparently!), I wasn't cross or anything til he started saying it was definitely not a person and was totally definately the wind.

Stab stab stabbity stab stab stab stab

bagelmonkey Mon 12-Sep-11 03:56:41

If he admits that someone could have opened the door he has to acknowledge that you might have encountered them before he got there and anything could have happened. Maybe he's bot ready to deal with the idea that things could potentially have got nasty???

irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 03:59:06

Yeah maybe. What a productive way of dealing with his fears eh. Grrr arrrrgh.

Just want to go to sleep now but not sure I could resist kicking him blush

bagelmonkey Mon 12-Sep-11 04:05:05

Pretend you're asleep and kick him in a nightmare about the car being broken into?

irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 04:20:29

Hah! Good idea. Might give that a go wink

Sandinmyshoes Mon 12-Sep-11 06:59:59

Umm... if he hadn't locked the car how was the alarm set? I thought most alarms switched on and off at the same time you locked the car - or is your alarm system a separate control from the locking system?

Would be an awfully noisy affair in the mornings if car alarm systems went off when an unlocked car door was opened...

Thistledew Mon 12-Sep-11 07:15:00

I think you can get a huge amount of milage out of this one- if ever you or your DC spill anything/leave mess anywhere/ lose something/ forget something and your DH asks who did it or how it happened, just say "it was probably the wind"!

MrsMoosickle Mon 12-Sep-11 07:18:58

grin at Thistledew.


I think he doesn't want to acknowledge that it was a person because he let you go down first to investigate it, if it was the wind then you weren't in any danger so he neednt feel that he should have gone first. Or maybe like DH he sometimes disagrees with you for the hell of it. I apparently didn't have mastitis yesterday, despite having a blocked milk duct, feeling fluey and having a big red mark on my boob. His reasoning? "why would you get it now?". Erm, why not? Luckily the doctor diagnosed it later!

HecateQueenOfWitches Mon 12-Sep-11 08:02:23

I am slightly more cynical.

I think it was 'the wind' because otherwise a person got into the car due to his negligence in leaving the doors unlocked. grin

So it's a way of saying that him leaving the doors open didn't create a risk, nothing happened, it wasn't even a person, it was just the wind, I didn't do anything daft....


irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 11:59:15

I went on about it asked him about it this morning - he claimed I said that someone crobarred it!!

I NEVER said that, nor would I since I know how stupid the car and alarm are (the whole door was replaced when the window was smashed and that side doesn't lock - the thingy isn't there at all (you know, the thingy - stands up when the car is unlocked and goes down when its locked) - without being done seperately. So it's totally feasable he left it unlocked and the alarm went off when the door was opened.

I am now cross as well as sleep-deprived and indignant. Being stupid is one thing but making up things I'm supposed to have said is quite another.

NOW I COME TO THINK OF IT he does that way more often than is reasonable.

Thistle I love it and am going to do that all the time. Thankyou!

LostIn - I can relate. I was worried I had a DVT once and he said "why would you have a DVT? It's probably a varicose vein" (it was a DVT), and when I was talking about DC2 being hospitalised for two weeks when just a few days old with a friend, talking about how traumatic it was for me, DH said "oh it wasn't that bad".

He also argued with me when I told my aunt I had a lot of gray hairs. WTF.

He's basically a wanker. However this blaming the wind thing could run and run so I'll get my revenge.

CurrySpice Mon 12-Sep-11 12:04:18

<<snorts at the idea that the wind could have opened a closed car door>>

You know he left the door open don't you

He came out of the car with his hands full and didn't close it. HTH

annababy Mon 12-Sep-11 12:06:18

I think you are overreacting unbeleivably.
Has anything truly that bad happened to the car?
I appreciate they are just turn of phrase but seriously 'stab stab stab',calling him a wanker and wanting to kill him etc.
You sound ridiculous

festi Mon 12-Sep-11 12:12:18

what difference does it make either way wether wind or a break in, I dont get the enormity of it, am I missing something?

irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 12:32:45

Oh don't be silly annababy

I'm cross because he's insisting his explanation is more likely than mine (and has lied about what mine was), just because it's mine.

Not because of the car or any of that.

Do you not see that it's infuriating for someone to insist that something patently extremely unlikely is more feasable than what obviously happened? Bearing in mind it was 3am?

irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 12:33:48

(and surely my namechange would indicate that I am well aware my response isn't exactly reasoned or proportionate)

dittany Mon 12-Sep-11 12:37:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

irrationalfury Mon 12-Sep-11 12:40:16

Yeah he does this a lot, which is why it made me so angry.

I would say it is THE issue in our marriage. The pointlessness and futility of saying it was the wind and then justifying it by claiming I was talking about crowbars really makes me sad

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