Me and DP are in the last few weeks of planning our wedding.
But there has been a slight sticking point with my in-laws to be and my mum so AIBU??
Me and DP met though our parents (his parents became very close to my mum when she moved after my parents divorced)
I should point out mine divorced when I was 8 and DBro was 10. Though they had joint custody my dad had primary custody. My DSMum entered the equation around about 2 years later. I have always and still today get on very well with her (she is a wonderful woman, personalities wise better than with my actual Mum) I also have 2 wonderful younger siblings who are 12 and 14 yrs younger than me.
Now the problem:
We are paying for the wedding ourselves but in lo of presents from our parents we have asked for them to contribute to the wedding itself as such DP parents decided that they would like to pay for the decoration of the reception room inc the flowers on table/tables placings/table cloths etc.
At DP parents house with my mum there they asked to see the plans for these decorations and the receipts for it (they decided we would pay and they would give us the money back once we had done). Which I showed them including a mock up of the room layout (measured to perfection I must add)
My Mums first responce was 'Oh so she is sitting on that table is she?' meaning my DSMum.
We are not having a 'top table' they are circular tables (10 altogether). One of which is slightly in front of the others (Me, DP, His best man and wife my Dsis1 who is my best woman, My Brother and husband and my DSis2 on this one)
We made the decision to have 'ushers' and partners on the next with my DDad, DSMum and have a seat there for our DS who is 3.
The next table has my mum, DP parents, his 2 grandparents and 3 close friends of ours.
DP parents then informed us that 'we are not happy paying for that set up, we should be on that table (the one with My Dad and DSM)'
We explained that the set up works and people are sitting next to people we think they would get along with/know. (also don't want all parents on same table - they will be fine but not sat together)
But this is not good enough.
DPs mum (and mine agreed) then had the audacity to tell me that we should move my brothers husband (lets not get into my mums feeeling on my bro being gay that it is a whole other thread), best man's wife and my Dsis2 off the table we are on so the three of them can sit on it. My mum then decided that night on the phone to tell me that she didn't think that 'her' (meaning my DSis's who are techinally are my half-sister, though we are not half anything) children (both - including the one who is my Best woman) shouldn't get to sit on an 'important' table because it isn't like they are proper sisters (!)
I didn't get a chance to reply (DS wanted me)
But DPs parents are now saying they will not pay for the set up as it is we have to change it.
DP and I know that they are paying and DP thinks we should maybe move some people to meet them half way (splitting up Dad and DSM was said but I shot it down). This is really stessing me out, which DP is worried about as I'm pregnant (but haven't told anyone yet)
-Sorry it is a bit long-
I know they are paying for it but it is my wedding, AIBU and what should we do?
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AIBU?
Step parents and new siblings at wedding - AIBU??
29 replies
pickupsticks · 02/09/2011 18:42
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