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AIBU?

... to be annoyed with h's friend?

32 replies

annie987 · 21/08/2011 09:01

H's friend is in the army. He's single so when he's off at weekends or home on leave he stays with us which is fine. He's a good friend to us both. I've known him for 15 years and we go out together even when h is working.
Anyway. He is a bit of a ladies man and prides himself on the ability to convince pretty much anyone into bed with him.
This has caused problems in the past with some of my friends who have felt uncomfortable. The majority however did end up sleeping with him and then badgering me when he doesn't call them.
At the weekend I bought a new colleague home. We've worked together for a few months and got on well. We have a big project to work on next year so will be very close.
I asked him as a friend to lay off her and to keep his hands to himself. He jokingly said he wouldn't but I really thought he would. The colleague was staying over. I pre warned her about him!
Anyway the next morning I poked my head into the spare room to offer h's friend a coffee and the pair of them leapt up in the bed like they'd been shot clearly up to no good. I popped out to get sausages as I promised to cook a fry up for everyone and by the time I got back she'd jumped in a taxi and gone even though she'd planned to stay.
I am really upset with h's friend for compromising another friendship of mine. He can't see the problem. H says i'm over reacting and they are both adults. Maybe I am being unreasonable?

OP posts:

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Caged · 21/08/2011 09:03

Yabu I can see it's a bit annoying, but you can't tell people how to live their lives and you did warn her so she went int it with her eyes open.

niceguy2 · 21/08/2011 09:04

They're both adults. they can do what they want. perhaps if you don't want him snagging his way thru your friends then stop introducing them.

BluddyMoFo · 21/08/2011 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

annie987 · 21/08/2011 09:06

I don't introduce them. If's here that often that i'd never see my friends if I waited until he was away.

OP posts:

annie987 · 21/08/2011 09:10

Or even he's here

OP posts:

cjbartlett · 21/08/2011 09:14

Do you have kids? Not sure I'd want my home being used for one night stands

skgnome · 21/08/2011 09:17

It's annoying, but if he's also a good frirend of yours the only thing you can do is warn your friends

And maybe tell him that next time he does it no fry-up for him :o

lifechanger · 21/08/2011 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Geordieminx · 21/08/2011 09:35

He must have some cracking chat up lines

Sorry.

You warned her, that's all you can do, and tbh, if you told her what he was like, and she still jumped into bed with after a few hours then she was up for it ((((( jealous )))))

HairyGrotter · 21/08/2011 09:37

He sounds hot, send him my way, I'll soon whip him into a respectable member of society

Geordieminx · 21/08/2011 12:11

Although if she left in a taxi at the crack of dawn it sounds like he wad shit in bed or had a small knob... Perhaps that's why he has the patter... Because he knows there is no chance of a repeat performance.

Still I am sure all will be revealed tomorrow at work

Andrewofgg · 21/08/2011 16:03

HairyGrotter the whip might be what he really, really wants!

troisgarcons · 21/08/2011 16:08

You 'warned' her about him. I assume she's an adult and can make her own decisions?

I wouldn't mention it at work either. it won't do her professional reputation any good for everyone to know she's an easy lay.

LolaRennt · 21/08/2011 16:11

I think the people saying you are BU and they are adults are forgetting that it is your house. If you had a 20 year old son and you sai dplease keep it in your pants while in my home everyone would agree it is your house your rules. You told him hands off and if he repected you he woudl have kept his hands off. It isn't fair if you are going to have akwardness at work now or she can't come round to your house to work. You should really have words with him

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 21/08/2011 16:28

YABU as the parties are consenting adults.

It could be that your colleague is feeling a tad embarrassed especially after you tipped her the wink, but maybe she was desperate for a shag mesmerised by his charms.

When you next see your colleague, simply remark that you were sorry she didn't stay for your sausage fry up without making any reference to her having partaken of hot sausage before you popped out to buy some.

Providing you act as if nothing untoward has occurred (which, in fact, it hasn't) and avoid getting drawn into discussing him with her or vice versa, I see no reason why you cannot happily work together with your colleague on whatever assignments/projects comes your way.

Xales · 21/08/2011 17:08

if it does cause any friction at work basically say you warned her, you are not her or his keepers, if he is not calling her it is none of your business and do not get involved.

worraliberty · 21/08/2011 17:12

They shouldn't have done it in your house..but they do seem quite compatible.

They're both ok with jumping into bed with each other for a quick shag, so if they don't get a relationship out of it, they can hardly blame you for that can they?

Geordieminx · 21/08/2011 17:30

Tbh I think if he is wanting to carry on like this (as most single squaddies men probably do) then it's about time he looked for somewhere else to stay of a weekend, instead of using your home as a brothel.

I wouldn't like it in my home.

DontGoCurly · 21/08/2011 17:31

I'd be more offended at her leaving without saying goodbye. That was rude.

LineRunner · 21/08/2011 17:33

Isn't this a Friends episode?

gaaagh · 21/08/2011 17:36

"it won't do her professional reputation any good for everyone to know she's an easy lay."

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/08/2011 18:12

OP, YANBU.

For all those saying 'they are both adults, not your business, yada yada yada' - that would be fine if OP was happy with her home being used as a shag pad (think 70's sitcom Cuckoo's Nest with Lewis Collins) and she never saw the women again. But that is not the case. These women are her friends and colleagues, she sees them again, and these one-night stands affect her relationships with them. It is inconsiderate of her husband's friend to put her in this awkward position. REPEATEDLY.

I'd be inclined to quietly tell him that if that's how he wishes to spend his leave, he's welcome to stop at their house but he can start using hotels for his one-night-stands. And women you don't know. And if your husband has a problem with that, tough. Tell him he can veto any of your friends using his home as a shag pad too.

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HairyGrotter · 21/08/2011 18:18

I use my home as a shag pad, wouldn't be overly offended if a friend had sex in my home...but then, I don't do it unless my DD is out of the home with a family member.

Seriously, I have a whip, some cuffs and a bad attitude, this dude is MINE!

AnyFucker · 21/08/2011 19:57

is this for real ?

this bloke uses your home as a knocking shop, and you repeatedly pimp out your friends/colleagues to him ?

is he in possession of a golden cock ?

nah

LolaRennt · 21/08/2011 22:42

gaaah I would be a bit with a colleague who was supposed to be working but went and shagged a random at a colleague's house. It is pretty unprofessional don't you think?

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