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to think this was out of order and that she is lying

(49 Posts)
yikert Sat 30-Jul-11 16:01:31

My brother was knocked off his bike on Wednesday and needed to be taken to hospital and he was discharged yesterday. His girlfriend didn't tell me. I only found out this morning when I saw a friend who apparently saw it happen and have since contacted them and she said she forgot. We don't really get on very well and think that she deliberately didn't tell me.

Poweredbypepsi Sat 30-Jul-11 16:03:15

perhaps your brother told he not to for some reason?

DontAskMeSums Sat 30-Jul-11 16:04:28

Might she have been busy attending to/worrying about your brother? Was he unconscious so he couldn't ask her to contact you, if he felt you needed contacting?

yikert Sat 30-Jul-11 16:06:15

He suffered a baddish concussion so wasn't really with it

TheOriginalFAB Sat 30-Jul-11 16:07:58

I suspect if you don't get on she wouldn't have even thought to tell you.

popele Sat 30-Jul-11 16:09:21

Did she tell anyone in your family? If she didn't then YANBU but if she told someone else then she probably thought that it would be passed around.

StewieGriffinsMom Sat 30-Jul-11 16:09:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yikert Sat 30-Jul-11 16:11:24

I just don't believe you could forget to call for 2 days when something like this has happened.

tokle Sat 30-Jul-11 16:15:46

YANBU, are you and your brother close OP?

DontAskMeSums Sat 30-Jul-11 16:15:58

You and your brother are responsible for your sibling relationship. He and she are responsible for their relationship. If you don't get on, why would ringing you be a priority for her? Maybe she was focussing on the well being of the bloke she loves.

EdithWeston Sat 30-Jul-11 16:16:33

Are your parents still around? Had she rung them? If so, it might not have occurred to her to ring you as well.

yikert Sat 30-Jul-11 16:17:41

yes tokle

tokle Sat 30-Jul-11 16:19:39

If you are close could she have seen it as an opportunity to create distance/tension between you if you don't get on. Presumabely it would have looked to him like you knew but didn't go and visit etc whilst she was the devoted girlfriend.

kevlarbrassiere Sat 30-Jul-11 16:21:26

You are understandably upset at not being informed, but its up to him to let you know about events like this.

Maybe he didn't want a fuss, just a couple of days to recover, in peace, from his accident.

If he stays with his girlfriend, has children with her, etc., you will just have to learn to accept that his partner takes precedence over you. If not , then you will be forever frustrated by your relationship with them.

yikert Sat 30-Jul-11 16:21:41

No she didn't tell our parents either but they spend the summer in Spain

likale Sat 30-Jul-11 16:23:41

YANBU if I were hospitalized by an accident like this I would expect DH to inform my parents and siblings. The idea that she forgot is ludicrous and almost certainly a lie.

piloi Sat 30-Jul-11 16:29:42

YANBU if your partner is hurt then you should tell their family and I agree with likale the claim she forgot to isn't particulary believable.

MumblingRagDoll Sat 30-Jul-11 16:32:22

How old is your brother?

EdithWeston Sat 30-Jul-11 16:33:53

I think it is U not to tell anyone in his family.

I think it's pretty unlikely he'll have banned her from telling you but, as you know now and will probably be in touch directly, you can find out (discreetly) from him.

marcopront Sat 30-Jul-11 16:35:48

If he was discharged yesterday, he was presumably in fairly good shape. So he could have called you himself. He didn't, maybe he didn't want you to know.

yikert Sat 30-Jul-11 16:37:30

He's 22

Jux Sat 30-Jul-11 16:39:28

I wouldn't expect her to call me. If it had been me, I would have had more than enough to do with visiting, thinking of what he mint need to cheer him, distract him etc etc while he was in. If it had been something very serious then you think about calling relatives, but concussion, no.

DH was in hospital for 3 days, having a dreadful time. I didn't call his mum or his sister; spent the 3days trying to organise how we were going to get to the hospital to visit him, what he needed, reassure dd. Hardly had 5 minutes to think about anything else.

I called his sis when he came out (his mum's completely demented and probably wouldn't have known what/who I was talking about). DSIL wasn't at all worried that I hadn't called her before.

AurraSing Sat 30-Jul-11 16:59:10

I think you are making a big deal about nothing. He's a grown up, so if he wanted you to know, he would have told you himself. I doubt telling you crossed either of their minds.

oila Sat 30-Jul-11 17:03:56

YANBU I agree tokle and that she might be playing games. If you had known then presumabley you would have visited him in hospital and so by not telling you it makes you look like you couldn't be bothered whilst she presumabley did all that stuff.
Even if she wasn't it seems strange to not inform any of your family that he had been hospitalised and I don't really think it is his responsibility to tell you if he is unwell in hospital

inappa Sat 30-Jul-11 17:37:20

YANBU She should have told you and it seems unlikely to me that she forgot, how can she forget that her boyfriend has a sister?

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