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To wonder what job DH expects me to get!

(46 Posts)
MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 17:48:04

DS2 starts school in spetember, and DS has started going on about me going back to work. He says he is joking but I think he is pretending he is joking.

However DS2 has SN and isnt starting school full time. He will be there from 9.30 until 12pm, then there is DD who starts preschool at 9.45, so thats the earliest I can get on my way to work, to return at 12 to pick DS up, then DD at 13.10. Also DS will attend SALT group on a Thursday which I have to take him to, so that completely rules that day out.

I would like to go back to work, but I would think there are many employers that would accept those odd hours!

eurochick Mon 18-Jul-11 17:51:55

Something you can do from home?

ShatnersBassoon Mon 18-Jul-11 17:52:27

He might be thinking of twilight shifts, or working from home. I don't know, you'll have to ask him to clarify.

MrsKravitz Mon 18-Jul-11 17:52:39

What did you do before?

LaurieFairyCake Mon 18-Jul-11 17:53:24

Tell him you are and you've found a job working weekends as that's when he will be able to have the children

that'll shut the smegger up wink

MegBusset Mon 18-Jul-11 17:54:20

Do you need to go back to work? If you do, for financial reasons, you will just have to find a way to make it work - use a childminder, work part/flexitime, get an evening job or work from home etc.

If you don't need to but want to, the same applies.

If you don't need or want to, then I quite agree that staying a SAHM sounds the easiest option!

MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 17:54:46

I worked in a law office before, and before than an airline.

I couldnt do anything once DS is back home, so the 'job' would be in those couple of hours max while DS is at school - 4 days a week.

When I ask him to clarify, he just clams up and says he is joking, but I know he isnt really.

GypsyMoth Mon 18-Jul-11 17:55:41

Lol at that laurie, I was thinking similar!

With school hold to factor in, good luck with the search!

Mitmoo Mon 18-Jul-11 17:55:51

I've just started doing Avon and am looking at Kleeneze, it gets you out and about, do it in your own time and you can work as hard or as little as you like.

iwanttoseethezoo Mon 18-Jul-11 17:57:04

How long will your ds be part-time? not for ever, surely? not that i think you should get a job, but your dh is being a bit passive-aggressive IMO. i would tell him that the hours you have free are not conducive to working, so unless you can find a job that fits in, you won't be working quite yet, thanks. If he's desperate for the money, he can do the jobsearch!

MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 17:57:44

I dont need to back to work - we might be worse off if I lose carers allowance (depending on what I earnt). We manage fine but obviously everyone would like to have a bit more spare cash.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 18-Jul-11 17:59:40

No, he's not joking, OP. I think you and he need to sit down and have a discussion about this to find some kind of resolution. Perhaps he's concerned about being the sole wage earners, jobs are thin on the ground now and existing ones not as secure as they once were.

Scuttlebutter Mon 18-Jul-11 18:01:47

Have you had a discussion about your finances? Is there a financial pressure on your family's budget requiring you to work?

I got myself a second job to help our finances - I do termtime hours in a university library and it's perfect - I work on a Sunday afternoon, and a couple of evenings, plus the occasional extra shift to cover for colleagues, do training etc. Because I work from home in my main job, I love the social contact, my colleagues are great, and the extra money (while not massive) has been brilliant. Have a think about something like this - I'd never worked in a library before but it uses a lot of transferable skills, especially IT and dealing with customers.

MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 18:06:02

DH works 80+ hour weeks - we are quite secure in our finances and he works for himself. He works away alot so thats another stubling block.

I dont know when DS will go FT at school. It wont be before Christmas at the very least. We are trying to see whether mainstream school is right for DS, or if SS would be better.

Birdsgottafly Mon 18-Jul-11 18:07:03

Does he fully understand the implications of your DS's SN and the support that he may need?

You need to have a discussion, as others have said and do the figures.

Perhaps do some studying to fill in the gap on your CV.
However, do not underestimate the skills needed to look after young DC's especially with additional needs and run a household. You have certainly not brought yourself out of the labour market.

Birdsgottafly Mon 18-Jul-11 18:11:59

Perhaps start to think about what you would like to do in the future and work towards that, rather than look for a job.

There will be numerous appointments for yor DS to establish his needs, you will need to be available for this.

When you have gone through the 'system' you will gain a working knowledge of SEN and this will be beneficial in the long run as every organisation encourage disability awareness.

Mitmoo Mon 18-Jul-11 18:14:17

Re: Carers I was looking at the site the other day and you can earn up to £100 a week. Just for info I can't see how you could do anything more than an Avon Kleeneze etc. round at the moment.

aquos Mon 18-Jul-11 18:15:36

I've had this for years from my dh.

I don't need to work financially and dh is categorically not willing to take on more (any) childcare or household duties.

I've asked him times what he proposes I do during school hours, term time only, when there are no jobs at the mo. His best and only suggestion was dinner lady.

I'd like to return to work. I'm bored as a SAHM, but the job I did pre-children was 11-6 incl weekends with tues,weds off. As dh works weekends too, returning there is never going to work.

My eldest is SN and I get carers allowance too.

My kids are 10 and 11. I've decided to go to college and retrain. It will take 2 years by which time the kids will be old enough to be at home alone for a few hours if necessary. In the meantime the college course is costing money and I'll need to use after school club 3 days a week, but at least I won't have a childcare problem during school holidays.

So now my dh wishes he'd kept his mouth shut. Course fees, equipment and childcare is going to cost about £2500 a year for the next 2 years.

Mitmoo Mon 18-Jul-11 18:15:45

I think you should leave him for a week and let him to do all the caring for the children.

I'd wager he'd never mentions it again.

FabbyChic Mon 18-Jul-11 18:16:13

You could become an eBay seller that would allow you to work from home, find a niche market of what people want, find a wholesaler and be a seller.

You could do any time of homework, or you could work evenings when your partner is at home, maybe bar, restaurant or supermarket work.

AuntiePickleBottom Mon 18-Jul-11 18:22:31

tbh, as you are a carer you already have a job.

pointydog Mon 18-Jul-11 18:25:58

Maybe he feels som e pressure at being the sole earner. Maybe he's tired of the hours he works. Maybe you just need to talk together so you both know how the other is feeling.

Do you really want to work? If so, surely you would have already looked into jobs and childcare. Does dh realise what it's like for you looking after the kids?

RandomMess Mon 18-Jul-11 18:28:13

If he's self employed could you do any of his admin etc?

MumblingRagDoll Mon 18-Jul-11 18:29:11

Tell him that you will gladly get a job as long as he can alter his hours at work in order to be available from 9.00am to 3.15...so that you're free for this "job" he wants you to begin.

Sheesh! Or tell him to bog off.

TubbyFunster Mon 18-Jul-11 18:30:21

What's SN?

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