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To send dd to nursery with nappy rash?/dh being a twat

(28 Posts)
Atwaroverscrabble Mon 18-Jul-11 10:10:13

ok.... Dd is 19 months and goes to nursery 2 afternoons and 1 full day a week so that along with workibg evenings etc i can try and do my 35 hours of work a week....

Dh was due to look after dd today 9:30 onwards and take dd to nursery at 1. Dh has been in a grump all weekend and worked yesterday 2-10pm but then went to the pub, he got home about 11:30 but stayed up until 2 (drinking the wine i had hidden in the study....)

Last night dd had sore bits after a runny poo at bedtime but i put metanium on it and she was asleep by 7, she woke at 11 and said she was sore so i changed her, put more cream on and gave some calpol, she went back to sleep and slept until about 6;30, i got her up and she was crying about being sore again so more cream and calpol...

Went downstairs and she was playing with ds(11), no major noise but dh came down started shouting about needing sleep, how his day wouldnt end until 10 tonight etc and how he hates his life and told ds to 'piss off to school' angry

He then informed me he couldnt look after dd as she has sore bits and if i had any mothering instincts i wouldnt take dd to nursery either today! He then stormed off to bed so here i am, i should be at work, he's a twat and in bed and dd is ok until nappy time, aibu she will be fine to go to nursery???

Lady1nTheRadiator Mon 18-Jul-11 10:12:19

Sorry, I don't understand why you have pandered to his little tantrum.

thestringcheeseincident Mon 18-Jul-11 10:12:58

She will be fine for nursery. Cream her up and tell the staff so maybe they can re-apply.
Your husband sounds like a jack ass.

Your husband is an arse. Why do you let him speak to your son like that?

FuzzpigFourFiveSix Mon 18-Jul-11 10:15:39

Erm, this doesn't really have anything to do with nappy rash does it (but in case it does, no YANBU any decent nursery would cope with that).

I recognise your name - have you posted about your DH (who BTW appears to be a bit of a twat) before?

FreudianSlipper Mon 18-Jul-11 10:15:44

are you having to hid drink from him ?

lots of sudocrem and i am sure she will be fine

he is an arse

Zimm Mon 18-Jul-11 10:15:59

WTF? Your husband is being a complete dick. How dare he lay a guilt trip on your about nappy rash FFS? Yes, she will be fine. Tell the staff and ensure they do extra changes plus cream.

He sounds like he is using any excuse to get out of looking after her - lazy arse.

Zimm Mon 18-Jul-11 10:16:36

Errmm yes hiding wine? That is not good.

Groovee Mon 18-Jul-11 10:19:22

What an eejit your husband is. I'd get him told that she's just as much his daughter as yours!

swallowedAfly Mon 18-Jul-11 10:23:50

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Atwaroverscrabble Mon 18-Jul-11 10:27:43

Yes, dh is indeed a twat and i hide wine because he drinks it all when i have gone to bed and then is crap the next day.... I tend not to buy it but i do occasionally like a glass every now and then.... The drink is an ongoing issue but only he can do something about that, i try and detach...

I brought him up on talking to my ds like that but he was in a beligerant mood and wouldnt accept it was wrong so i will talk to him again later about that. I apologised to ds for dhs behaviour and he was ok, he knows dh is a grumpy bastard at times...

Dh is a selfish grumpy bastard and we have had several rows this week, i think we are getting towards the end but his 16 year old dd ia due to move in next month to do her a levels and its complicated. I dont think shw should given the state of our relatipnship but dh says thats me being nasty etc....

I will send dd to nursery today, looks like i'm looking after her until 1 then so it will be an all nighter with not much sleep to catch up tonight....

Poweredbypepsi Mon 18-Jul-11 10:32:36

Your dh sounds like a twat yes. He also sound like a twat who needs tl stop drinking. I would be absolutely livid with my dh if he did this and I would say that my dh is grumpy alot but nothing that comes close to this behaviour.

SheCutOffTheirTails Mon 18-Jul-11 10:34:38

It's not complicated.

Your 11 year old son should not have to live in a home where he is verbally abused by his step-father.

You need to leave.

Spuddybean Mon 18-Jul-11 10:39:16

Sounds like he is feeling sorry for himself and probably has a hangover so used the nappy rash as an excuse for you to look after your dd.
Hiding booze doesn't sound healthy and it sounds as tho you need to give him harsh words about growing up.
Swearing at the children is also unacceptable. Is this a pattern or a one off bout of ennui?

Atwaroverscrabble Mon 18-Jul-11 10:41:29

I need him to leave, but he won't....

Luckily we rent but i put down the deposit before he moved in with me, its 95% my furniture and stuff and i need the space for the kids....

SheCutOffTheirTails Mon 18-Jul-11 10:48:27

Find s

swallowedAfly Mon 18-Jul-11 11:10:57

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MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 11:13:51

Get out, for both your childrens sakes because he sounds like a knob and they dont deserve having to live with that.

swallowedAfly Mon 18-Jul-11 11:25:12

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Atwaroverscrabble Mon 18-Jul-11 11:41:21

Swallowed.... Pretty much spot on at the moment, overweight but not huge, sense of entitlement, insists his work ia more important/tiring... Whenever i say anything i am controlling/nagging and if i cry i am a freak, if i shout at him because he's being an arse then i am a psycho bitch......

swallowedAfly Mon 18-Jul-11 11:55:58

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FuzzpigFourFiveSix Mon 18-Jul-11 16:07:10

Kick his arse out. He can find somewhere else and have his DD, you can stay with your DS and little DD (he's barely being a parent to her by the sound of it)

Atwaroverscrabble Mon 18-Jul-11 16:11:10

well he eventually got up at 12 and was full of apologies for being nasty. I told him this is the last time that happens and it was unacceptable behaviour and that I expect him to apologise properly to DS... he agrees...

I think he realises that I mean it too, he has sent a few texts from work saying he feels really bad about being grumpy and I have simply said 'good' and that he needs to sort it, perhaps with exercise and a change of attitude....

I am going to start making my exit plan though, saving some cash and de-cluttering like mad so that if I need to we can just go... this is his last chance...

swallowedAfly Mon 18-Jul-11 16:22:20

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bringmesunshine2009 Mon 18-Jul-11 16:30:12

sounds like a day in the life at home of bringme, but without the remorse. I would be told he was right and I deserved it. If tired DH is objectionable plus. Will also try to control me by removing his part of the childcare so I couldn't go to work and then imply I was a shit mum for letting DS go to nursery WITH A RUNNY NOSE.

Shame really as the rest of the time he is a great dad.

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