Last Christmas, we all had the falling out of falling outs. There was a death, terminal illness, a TV and some pate. It was not pretty.
SIL has since tried to get my darling Grandmother to listen to her slagging me off and for the first time in my entire life I have heard Granny say something unkind about someone when she called her a "vicious bitch" 
Anyway, we each have 3dc's and whilst I'm pretty sure theirs aren't in the slightest bit fussed, mine are asking when they'll see their cousins.
We've just received a thank you card (written by her and quite pointed) for a birthday present I sent and I'm considering sending this:
Thanks for "DCs" thank you card, it's sweet. This is all a bit silly and unhealthy, wanna make up?!
A good friend says sit on it a while, what do you lot think?
AIBU?
To hold out an olive branch to DB and SIL?
HappyDoll · 12/07/2011 13:38
Depends what the falling out was over in the first place.
Need to know more about the tv and the pate 
The fallout was massive. Aunts, Uncles, In Laws, Brothers, Sisters, Husbands and Wives all got involved.
TBH, I was really hurt by it, I mean huge-therapy-bill hurt. BUT I've had therapy, I am still hurt but the thing that hurts most is the fact that my family is broken.
I'd rather we see each other occasionally and just get on with it for the sake of the kids (gawd knows I'm an expert at that). The silliness in the text is meant to make like of a situation that has got out of hand.
So far, no-one thinks I shouldn't....interesting 
If your sil signed her name on the card she wrote on behalf of your dn then it would seem to be a barb. If she signed it from your dn, or it was unsigned, I'd read it as he enjoyed building the lego set you sent him.
Given that presents/cards are being exchanged, I would suggest you act on your good friend's advice to 'sit on it' a while longer primarily because your pal is no doubt fully up to speed with exactly what took place - and because you can use the time to grow even bigger
Maybe your dsis or another relative will have occasion to host your db & sil at some future date and you can wangle an invitation or drop in? Seeing them face to face again under such circumstances would be preferable to extending a written olive branch that they may view as an apology for your part in the shennanigans or as a sign of weakness because you cracked first.
If you meet in this natural manner you'll be able to take the moral high ground by being sweetness and light personified, and you'll have the option of acting as if nothing untoward occurred, or respond with 'of course all families have their ups and downs, that was then, this is now' if they raise the matter.
Don't worry about time being short and all that jazz that can make us feel pressured into early action. IME some events happen for a reason and many problematic situations resolve themselves without need for us to be overly stressed about making the first move etc.
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it's a great idea. You are the bigger person - you also know you have good support from within the family and can risk being the bigger person. I doesn't sound like SIL is a big person tbh, though I could be wrong. Absolutely awful to hear how much pain it has caused (were you joking about therapy? 
). I have made amends with my poisonous family for the sake of 'peace'. They have continued to be poisonous and it takes a bit of getting used to tbh - no point thinking that a bit of decentness (
) will win some people round. NOt sure what I'm going to do when my dear mum pops her clogs, as then the reason for keeping the family 'peace' will be gone.
I do hope you are successful in this OP. and I wish you were my SIL [heart]
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