My DS and I lived abroad until he was 2 yo, pool in communal area so very confident in water. Went to parent toddler swimming once a week when returned to UK and at 5yo he would 'swim' a lot but always under water so felt it time he learnt to swim on top. 
Started local leisure centre lessons but group sizes were large and after research started DS with 'club' at same centre when he turned 6yo. (Dbro swam with them and was county/national medal winner so know they teach well)
DS has progressed quite quickly as he seems to have a flair for swimming.
Only problem is the other parents.
There are 5 classes (lessons are twice a week) in teaching pool. DS is in group 4. There are a variety of ages of children in each group but mainly seems children start at 4/5 in group 1 and leave group 5 by 8-10 yo.
There are so many pushy parents though who seem to insist on slating the way the strokes taught, boasting about there 5yo in group 5 and how they aren't moving up (everytime there are promotions) because its an age thing NOT on ability.
URGGG - Our children are young, they are learning a life skill, some will have it as a serious hobby, many will continue for excercise.
Thing is they seem to try and drag me into it with oh your DS is young too, he moves up quickly, when do you think he'll get to the 'club' group. (meaning big pool!)
When I say 'who knows' when x thinks he's ready, he's only 6 and may not want to train with a club I get replies that indicate they think my playing it cool is an act. FFS
AIBU to want to hide in changing room whilst DS swims (wouldn't as he wants me to watch) and really want to find elsewhere for him to swim. Except something tells me these parents are everywhere.
AIBU?
to wonder how you make the point your not a pushy mother to pushy mothers?
youarekidding · 22/06/2011 10:58
Ignore them. Take a book. Make a big W sign with your thumbs and index fingers and say "Whatever..."
I like the fact my kids are now learning to swim and they enjoy their lessons but I have to say I fecking hate taking them. It's on Friday evening and frankly I can't be arsed after a week at work then mad Friday rush around trying to do...all the stuff I do on Fridays.
The communal changing room temperature is set at about 35C and there isn't enough space so it's a complete scrum. Plus the fact I have to go in the pool as well with DD2 (2) for her Group 1 lessons 
. Then we get in the pool and DD2 just constantly wants to swim off to where big sis is, or to go and see the baby in the group ("Want to see baby, see babeeeeeee!") just generally wants to swim off on her own and generallly not do anything we are supposed to be doing, so I get kicked and thumped for half an hour.
Then they weirdly, like no other pool I have known, have no steps (WTF?) so I have to haul myself out - if you can picture it I have a black and white swimsuit and am 12 stone (cough) odd and 5'7" - so think Orca at Florida theme park...then the kids swarm with 50 others to get a jelly sweet...then it's back in the sweat box, not don't put your towel in the puddle, leave the baby alone, are you not dressed yet...sit down so I can dry your feet...then we get outside...and BREATHE. Cue DDs taking half an hour to walk the 100 yards to the car as they are distracted by doing cartwheels and rolling down inviting grassy banks. Then we get home and I crack open the gin attempt to get them ready for bed.
Sorry to hijack. I feel better now. As you were. :)
Don't do playground drop offs as I work and DS goes with school club by minibus from a local centre.
Is this my first foray into playground politics? (friend in same situ as me re work etc).
I did try and change subject to holidays a few weeks ago. Backed off when that turned into a comp about who goes where and whos DC swam the most in the pool and who looked better compared to others in pool of similar age. Not sure how it came about as I started off mentioning weather and how I hoped to take DS camping if nice in summer hols.
Met a lovely mum the other night who was so normal. She was far more confident than me and actually asked one of the parents why they sent their DC to lessons when they weren't happy with the teaching.
See, you found one...
It is all about insecurity. People want to fit in and want their child to fit in.
And I think we quite like to imagine that all the other mums are some big amorphous clump of pushy cliquey types. But they are all just individuals like you and there will be others also just wanting to chat about random things and let the teachers do their thing.
Imagining that you are the only sensible non competetive mum is fine except that it require you to make sweeping judgements about all the others -some of whom will just be trying to fit in.
Book is good though
pag your right. Its only about 3 parents (mums) out of the 11 dc's in DS group. They just seem to sweep through the viewing area chewing the ears off of others. Mostly we talk in groups or 3/4 due to seating so they seem to deploy themselves 1 per group.
Going to make my 'list' of topics to discuss. 
Thinking TV programmes as unless someones DC is a budding actor/ress and I've failed to notice it can't turn into a competition. Now what programmes are OK to talk about?
I know I should be watching DS but his lessons are 2x1/2 hr weekly and seriously he doesn't do much differently one lesson to the next.
Plus tbh I would have no idea if he was doing it 'right' or not. 
Sorry, can't help.I don't have time for tv what with getting my very talented dd to her gym classes.....
You say they are keen to monopolise 'fresh meat' as you see it. Perhaps they are trying to be friendly to the new person in the group? I know lots of braggers. Simply do not engage with that part of the conversation. Let the silence hang awkwardly and they quickly move the conversation on....and don't do it with you anymore!
You think they think you're pretending at playing it cool?
I think you're over-thinking
Ignore or change subject. I love Pag's input but I'd probably ignore, even if I got the feeling they were feeling I was intentionally playing it cool, rather than rising above.
Just tell the person next to you that you've forgetten when the last lesson is at the end of term and then they'll tell you the answer and then you ask if they're going on holiday etc - then you can chat about other stuff and not lesson stuff.
I thought your post was going to be about how they all think you're a pushy parent but actually you're saying they are all pushy parents. Just be you and don't care what they say.
Weird how lessons are done on age though - my childrens' lesson are all done on ability so Ds(6) has children who are 4 in his class and others who are 8 - if they can do everything on the lesson plans over the term, they move up to next level. I would be a bit if they stopped kids moving to the next group because they weren't old enough.
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No- they are done on ability. Lessons start for children from 4.9yo. Mostly they progress and join 'club' groups at about 8ish. As some start later, can swim etc when they start they get put in group for their abilty. DS is in group 4 - there are 6-11 yos in that group.
Its not the club keeping dc's in same group due to age just the parents using it as an excuse why their brilliant dc's haven't moved up.
I am going to try really hard to change the subject, or do the nod but silence (shouldn't be too difficult as have laryngitis atm and no voice at all!). Holidays are out as convo - tried that and failed.
Going to try, tv, books, films etc. Anything where finance/ability/size does not matter and includes everyone - or I feel I may implode.
The worst boasters are swimming parents. Dd swims for a squad and it is sooooo competitive - on the side of the pool not IN THE POOL. I avoid certain parents now. Dd has just gone up to the next level of training and one parent told me he thought 'the coach thinks he sees something in your dd, but it's probably not there'. Whereas his dd was the next sharon davies or woreva. Grow a think skin is my advice. All the kids get on swimmingly though .
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