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To let my daughter smoke

(131 Posts)
GreenAmy Sat 05-Feb-11 13:38:51

Be easy on me as I have been having a nightmare with my 11 year old daughter since November when I first caught her smoking. Posted on parenting a few weeks ago but did not really get any answers.

I have stopped her allowance and took away her dS Lite, grounded her, took away her phone, MP3 player, TV and all I have achieved is to drive a wedge between use.

We used to get on so well now she is like a stranger, yet I know she still smokes, she says she has friends.

I watch her smiling and being polite with other people, everyone tells me how sweet, polite, helpful she is.

I worry where she gets her cigarettes from and where she goes off to smoke also.

So as this section is more busy I will post here and ask for suggestions.

I am tired of the situation and prepared to give in to her.

Her father died in a traffic accident in 2009, so not around.

LimitedEditionLady Tue 06-Aug-13 18:51:43

You cant stop her,you can try amd talk to her calmly and put her off it but it if shes going to do it shes going to do it.She will hide it from you.I know this can be done as my family still dont know i smoke and now im a mum....

hardboiledpossum Tue 06-Aug-13 19:04:25

Chipping , my parents couldn't take time off work because then the bills wouldn't have got paid, i imagine that is the same for lots of families. I don't think many chikdmnders take on 11 year olds, especially the rebellious kind.

I was 13 when i started smoking and i honestly don't think there was anything my parents could have done to stop me. All punishing me did was push me further away and lead me to be more rebellious. I think you can make your displeasure known and not allow it as such; without coming down hard.

Turniptwirl Tue 06-Aug-13 19:08:40

Post in Teenagers for more sympathetic and helpful response from people who don't just have perfect 5 year olds-

MrsHoarder Tue 06-Aug-13 19:12:54


ChippingInHopHopHop Tue 06-Aug-13 23:35:04

Post in Teenagers for more sympathetic and helpful response from people who don't just have perfect 5 year olds

It has been mentioned smile It has also been mentioned that it's incorrect. Perhaphs you should try reading the thread smile

Hardboiled - when you have an 11 year old smoking, you need to do what you need to do. Annual leave, family leave, find a childminder who will take an 11 year old, rope in friends/family - it can be done if it's important enough to you, to do it <shrug>

Readallaboutit1 Wed 07-Aug-13 04:14:03

Stealth that is an excellent point.

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