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to be very worried about my brother

(51 Posts)
laserel Fri 12-Nov-10 21:56:10

Have namechanged
My brothers girlfriend pushed him down the stairs yesterday dislocating his left shoulder and breaking his right arm. He says that she temporarily lost control and that she's apoligised and feels terrible. I feel pretty worried as I think there's a big difference between a temporary loss of control and shoving someone down the stairs. I'll admit I've never really liked her as she has said a couple of fairly nasty things about him in front of me before but now I'm very concerned.

huddspur Fri 12-Nov-10 22:06:53

YABU with his two arms out of commission he's helpless and at her mercy. You don't just push someone down some stairs in a loss of control. Could he be in an abusive relationship?

madrid Fri 12-Nov-10 22:20:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

politac Fri 12-Nov-10 22:22:24

If it were me, he would not be staying with her. He will be totally dependent on her for everything I don't think that you can trust her considering what she's done to him.

GET HIM AWAY FROM HER

nigglewiggle Fri 12-Nov-10 22:24:39

YANBU. Are the police involved?

laserel Fri 12-Nov-10 22:34:50

No the police aren't involved and they're still living together.

odisco Fri 12-Nov-10 22:37:28

This is domestic abuse. Do I need to repeat that? If she feels so terrible they both need to get help.

hobbgoblin Fri 12-Nov-10 22:38:17

Do you think you should speak to her or will that make it worse for him? I'm guessing in classic abuse situations it would so the answer is probably yes.

You can only ever offer a safe haven though can't you? I know it is so awful for loved ones to watch on powerless. Even worse that his pride/sense of masculinity will be a big barrier.

maryz Fri 12-Nov-10 22:39:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littlefish Fri 12-Nov-10 22:40:01

I agree, this should be reported to the police as a domestic violence incident. If a woman came onto mumsnet saying that her partner had pushed her down the stairs and inflicted these injuries, the women's aid number, and instructions to go to the police, would be all over the thread.

This is much more than a "temporary loss of control".

huddspur Fri 12-Nov-10 22:49:16

Just realised I wrote YABU when obviously I meant YADNBU. I definitely agree with others on the thread regarding calling the police, this is very serious.

madrid Fri 12-Nov-10 22:56:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

laserel Fri 12-Nov-10 22:57:14

Can I call the policeseeing as though I wasn't involved and didn't witness it

laserel Fri 12-Nov-10 22:59:02

madrid he's already forgiven her but I must admit I'm now wondering whether there is more to their relationship, although she's a very senior job considering she's only 23.

laserel Fri 12-Nov-10 23:00:47

she's got a very senior job

cumfy Fri 12-Nov-10 23:00:57

Is she a fair bit older than him ?

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy Fri 12-Nov-10 23:01:40

your poor brother , he is probably feeling dreadful on so many levels
please advise him to contact

www.mensadviceline.org.uk

and

www.mankind.org.uk

and

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Victim/forMen

ChippingIn Fri 12-Nov-10 23:01:44

I think you need to speak to your brother.

Did she push him near the stairs and he fell down them, or did she deliberately push him down the stairs? There's a big difference.

You need to talk to him - offer him a bed at yours etc and tell him no one would think less of him if he wanted out of this/reported it to the police etc. It's hard for a man to admit being abused by a woman.

However, what I wouldn't advise doing is calling the police, it's not your place to do so - it's his call. I would be livid if you did that if you were my sister and I was abused, or you thought I had been abused.

laserel Fri 12-Nov-10 23:05:51

she's a couple of years older than him

cumfy Fri 12-Nov-10 23:07:28

Was he pushed from behind ?

Generally, it would be difficult for the fall to create such sig injuries in a young fit male without being caught by surprise.

If he was pushed from behind, this is a very significant worry.

madrid Fri 12-Nov-10 23:08:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cumfy Fri 12-Nov-10 23:11:48

Don't take any notice of posts saying you can't/shouldn't call the police.

They are false. You can.

Do you think your brother is thinking rationally about the situation ?

maryz Fri 12-Nov-10 23:14:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cumfy Fri 12-Nov-10 23:16:47

Were either/both under the influence of drugs/alcohol ?

highhopes2010 Fri 12-Nov-10 23:17:58

my brother,i would of kicked her arse!not condoning that of course.and there are definately adult ways of doing things.how do the rest of family and friends feel about her?what about your brothers friends,do they like her?

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