Trying to give up wine

[tryingtobethebestican]

Hi I have decided to do dry January but actually want to try and give up drinking alcohol permanently. I am finding it very hard but finding online support is helping massively. I have started my own blog because I thought it might help me - and others. I would love people to read it and give me their opinions. Please be kind though as am finding this month quite tricky.
wordpress.com/post/igniteyoursparkle.wordpress.com/59

[vxa2]

I can't get the link to work. I am coming up to 2 years sober and I also have a blog. Would love to read yours 🙂

[tryingtobethebestican]

Thanks for letting me know 😊. Well done for two years that's brilliant!
Not sure what I did wrong there. Is this ok?

igniteyoursparkle.wordpress.com/2018/01/21/wine-is-not-my-friend/

I only decided to write about things at the beginning of Jan but would love to get into writing. I'd be interested in reading your blog if you'd like to post the link to it.

[vxa2]

This is mine: sothisissober.com/

In am at work but will comment on your later. Looks great ! How are you getting on ? Xx

[tryingtobethebestican]

Hi your blog is great - I can really really relate to a lot of the things you say, obviously I haven't had time to read lots of them but read a few and they are really well written. You could be me with a lot of things you have said!
I hope I can keep up the sobriety- it really is early days for me as I'm only day 22 since I decided to stop (I had one day of no will power.)
I find it really inspiring to read other people's stories, especially when they are a lot further down the road than me.
I'd never done a blog before but am really pleased I have made the decision to write one. I know I need to tweak it a bit but that will come in time as I get more familiar and confident with it. I'm hoping my blog with be a journey of me trying to better myself and get the most out of life. Stopping drinking is the most important change for me at the outset so this is what I'm focusing on at the moment.
I'm following your blog now and will look forward to reading more 😊

[tryingtobethebestican]

I'm having a bit of a tweak with it and making the colours more positive and calm...

[vxa2]

Ive posted on your blog. How are you getting on ?The support on the Dry thread is great - come over !! Have you got any real life support ? X

[tryingtobethebestican]

Thank you I shall have a look! Yes I do have RL support, my other half is now 12 days Af and is going to AA which he says is really interesting. I'm pleased he has decided to do it too so we can support each other. My children (older) are really pleased which makes me very happy. How about you?

[vxa2]

That's great. My DH stopped in order to support me - he had always had a healthy relationship with alcohol so he doesn't always get it but having him to support me is wonderful. My daughters are 13 and 16 and much prefer me not drinking which is great- although sometimes I feel guilty that I continued for so long.

I found there is very little support for professional women with alcohol problems so I set up a group Club Sober which meets every3 weeks or so. If you happen to be in Birmingham you would be very welcome to come along x

[tryingtobethebestican]

It really helps to have support doesn't it. I haven't told anyone else because they don't know the extent of my drinking (well I don't think so anyway.)
Club Sober sounds a brilliant idea - well done you! Unfortunately I'm miles and miles away from Birmingham so no good for me but it's a really good idea. I'm sure it will be popular as there as so many of us in the same boat!
Please can you send me the link to the Dry thread as I can't seem to find it.

[vxa2]

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2973421-DRY-18

Here you go

[tryingtobethebestican]

Thank you!
I've been thinking about my blog and decided to have a revamp so I'm not just talking about not drinking - I don't want to just talk about that as then it makes me think about it more - if you know what I mean! Anyway I have ended up creating a new one (so now I have two lol.)

I'm really not trying to self promote myself but would it be bad to put the link on here so I can get opinions?

[foodiefil]

Can I ask you two how you knew it was time to give up for good?

[tryingtobethebestican]

Hi @foodiefil well I've been drinking since I was a teenager, not really badly all the time and actually when my children were small I hardly drank anything at all (apart from very occasional social occasions) and that would have only been one or two drinks.
Over the last maybe seventeen years I have gradually gone from just drinking while out e.g. Restaurants or pubs, to drinking at home in the evenings. This has got more regular and recently I've been drinking on average a bottle of wine a night - sometimes less but sometimes more. Anyway I decided enough is enough as it was not doing me any favours and actually was really boring! I thought I would try and do dry January, although I thought it would be too hard to do. It has been really hard but I'm on day 22 now.
My reason for thinking I want to - or have to try to - make it permanent is because I'm very sure if I have just one glass of wine I will realise how much I like it and be back to finishing the bottle and drinking every night again. That scares me. Also now I feel that I am 'me' I feel normal if that makes sense. I'm sleeping all night wIthout waking at two or three in the mornings and lying awake for ages. I've also stopped getting palpitations. Anyway that's me and some of the reasons for my decision. Sorry for waffling!

[foodiefil]

Ahh yes ok I see. So for you it was reigning in what was a growing habit. I ask because I'm really worried about my sister. She can't not get blindingly drunk when we socialise. Can't speak can't walk drunk. But that's not you of course 😔 good luck with your journey and thank you for replying x

[tryingtobethebestican]

How old is your sister? Does she still live at home or is she married or whatever?

[foodiefil]

29. At home though. Single. But dont know how she can meet someone because if we ever go out she's too drunk

[vxa2]

I got to the point when I knew that I had to stop before something really bad happened. I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a night and I knew I must still be over the limit to drive the next day. I was worried I would hurt someone and would get sacked. All I thought about was drinking - each day I would vow I would not drink that day and every time I would find an excuse to drink. I was hiding my drinking, drinking in the day and alone - I preferred to drink alone. I was scared of dying and that it would be my own fault but I didn't feel it would be any loss to anyone if I was no longer here. I lied to my husband counsellor, friends and GP. One day I was on holiday with another family and we had been drinking a lot every night. I woke up and I just knew I couldn't do it any more. I had to stop. I referred myself to my local drugs and alcohol service and told my husband - he was surprised as he didn't really have any idea how much I was drinking.

That was 665 days ago.

I'm sure you know this but your sister has to want to tackle her drinking. It didn't matter to me what anyone else said to me and I would get really prickly if anyone suggested I was drinking too much. Have you said anything to her . Does she know you're worried about her ?