Welcome gifts for adoptive children (and parents!)

[Couchto5ktowine]

My brother and SIL have passed the adoption panel and it’s looking likely we’ll shortly be welcoming a niece to the family! We’re all super excited, especially as she’ll be the first (and likely only) grandchild.

I realise we can’t count our chickens but I like to plan! It’s really important to me that we welcome in the same way as any other new niece (sorry if this is clunky language - I’m new to this forum) so would really welcome views on the best gifts you received for your child, what you found thoughtful and what I could get for the new parents?

DN will likely be 11 months and if it’s relevant I don’t live close by so “pre made meals” aren’t an option. My brother and SIL also live in a small town, not close to any particular city (so vouchers for stuff never really works).

Thank you!!

[Moomooboo]

Congrats to your brother and SIL. Our family were so great and kind to us. One SIL decorated the new room (as we are DIYphobic...). My brother got us super market vouchers which was amazing, which would work for them too.... We also got John Lewis vouchers from somebody to buy a car seat which was great but I know you said vouchers wouldn't really work.

Though if you're not up for spending that much or doing that much because they were very extravagant things and we didn't expect them... my mum bought our LO a cuddly toodloo and he loves chewing the arms of the thing. Also a cuddly igglepiggle... We have also ended up with a situation with a cuddly amb that my MIL bought where LO will not leave lamb behind and it's quite stressful if we don't have it with us for sleeping situations....

maybe at 11 months something like Ewan the sheep might be good too but I haven't got one of those.... I know they're for smaller babies but white noise does tend to help our LO sleep...

Hope everything is wonderful for them and your new niece.

[Couchto5ktowine]

@Moomooboo thank you! This is all really useful. Money isn’t an issue for us when it comes to a much beloved only niece/grandchild and I think your idea of supermarket vouchers is a good one. I think what I was trying to say is food/takeaway delivery vouchers are pointless.

I definitely would like to get a to welcome her. I like the idea of Ewan!

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

One of my favourite presents for DS was a set of colourful wooden letters that spelled his name. We put them up on his bedroom door and he used to like to touch them on his way to his nap/bedtime. He was about 10 months when we got him. A soft toy is also a good idea and he also loved a walker thing that made noise when he pressed switches etc. This sort of thing.

[alliejay81]

Maybe a children's book holder and some board books. At that age, books will be one of the best ways for parents to bond with new DD. And you can never have too many books 😀

[Couchto5ktowine]

Thank you everyone! Was there any in particular you appreciated as new parents? In particular as adoptive parents? It might be there’s no difference - I’ve no clue!

[Finchbon]

So my placement started at a similar age. My mum and dad got me a fisher price toddler rocker. It was a lifesaver and it's still used a good year later for chilling out in after nursery.
Don't know nappy situation in the household - but my absolutely best best gift was a monthly nappy subscription from my uncle. Saved a lot of hassle

[ifchocolatewerecelery]

The that's not my range of books are great. They do Christmas themed ones as well as animals (useful to know depending on how soon soon actually is).

A friend of ours gave us I love you to the moon and back which I read every night for months. It goes through things you've enjoyed doing together and was really helpful for me as it reminded me why we'd decided to adopt, especially in the really hard early days.

[jellycatspyjamas]

My two were a good bit older but I’d second the name plate type thing - we were given door plates for their room and wooden letters spelling their names both of which they really love now.

My sister sent me flowers “all new mums should get flowers”, which I was very touched by. I also still treasure the cards we were given which were so thoughtful. My sister also sent me postcards every few weeks reminding me that I was doing a fabulous job - I truly appreciated that reminder at a time when I felt totally incompetent.

[PoppyStellar]

@jellycatspyjamas my friend gave me flowers and the ‘all new mums should get flowers’ line. It was really touching and made me feel like a ‘proper mum’ when in reality I felt like I hadn’t a clue what to do!

OP, if your brother and SIL haven’t already got national trust or similar membership that might be a nice gift. I remember how essential getting out and about in the fresh air was in the first few months and I found the peace of NT gardens and similar places quite helpful.

[Ted27]

I really appreciated my big bunch of Its a Boy! balloons - he was 7!

On the book theme, we have special editions of some classics - complete works of Paddington, Thomas the Tank, etc. Even at 15 my son will not part with them, he likes the idea of starting a family heirloom to pass doen to his children. With Christmas coming up there will be some lovely editions around.

[Ostagazuzulum]

One of my friends got a personalized and framed family tree print when their adoption went through. It was from notonthehighstreet.com

Something like www.notonthehighstreet.com/honeytreepublishing/product/bear-family-foiled-personalised-print

It was really nice recognition of their new family.

You sound like you're going To be a lovely aunt!! X

[Moosehat]

Probably the most thoughtful present we received was a “care package” from my sister. It was waiting for us on the kitchen table when we arrived home with DS (aged 3 at the time) after an exhausting Introduction Week. It contained loads of things we needed, but hadn’t considered to buy like bath crayons and other bath toys, wipes, baby cream, kids sunscreen, anti bac hand gel, kids shampoo / shower gel, bubble bath and play bubbles. She also filled the fridge and cupboards with essential items like milk, bread, butter and tea, which meant that we didn’t have to make a trip to the supermarket as soon as we’d got back home.

Other gifts that stand out are a huge handbag from my friend. I was astonished by how much stuff you have to carry around for a 3 year old (and it’s even worse for an 11 month old), and that handbag 👜 was useful for years.

For DS, he got some quite extravagant presents like a trampoline from my my brother and a sandbox from my sister in law. Both were very appreciated and both were used loads. But in some ways, the best presents he got were the smaller more personal ones. He was into pirates at the time and one gift that stands out was a musical book about pirates. We literally read that book at bedtime every night for a year. God I hated that book after a while, but DS loved it. He’s now 9 and has still got the book. He refuses to throw it away.

[topcat2014]

it is nice you think this. neither of our families even got us a card..it is new territory for most people who are unsure of the conventions.

[Bloodybridget]

Although you said food delivery vouchers wouldn't work, would Cook deliver to them? We got a delivery as a gift when I had a cancer diagnosis, and it was so much appreciated. The food is really good and is cooked from frozen, so you don't even have to plan to eat it in advance. Congratulations to you too on your new niece-to-be!

[Yolande7]

We got towels with my girls' names embroidered, which they have been using for 7 years now. They were definitely a hit.

"My family, my journey" is a great book to keep memories. Strictly speaking it is for babies, but I used it for my 5 and 6 year olds and it worked fine. www.amazon.co.uk/My-Family-Journey-Adoptive-Families/dp/0811857379/ref=sr_1_2?s=gateway&keywords=my%20adoption%20my%20journey&qid=1568801287&sr=8-2&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

I would not get a cuddly toy. We got so many, we had to get rid of some straight away.

I had look alike dolls made for us (of all of us as a family), which we all still like a lot. Alternatively you could have a picture of the new family designed. www.etsy.com/uk/listing/182166189/personalized-portrait-custom-family?ref=user_profile

[swizzlestix]

Hi there's a company called Mumduke that does lovely adoption gifts, cards and prints.

[P0ndering]

I second the my family my journey book, it was my favourite gift. It's so nice to have a baby book that 'works' for our babies. I've given it to other adopters!

[FairyBatman]

The best gifts that we got were the ones that you would have bought for a birth child. A high chair that we had picked out, clothes etc.

The other thing is that those first few months are so hard it’s untrue (there are a few threads in here that may get be eye opening) not saying that having any child isn’t hard but this is another level, so maybe some meals dropped round, offers to watch LO so parents can -escape- get out for a couple of hours (even if it’s once they are in bed to start with) favourite take-always and offers of help with housework or laundry etc. we’re all very welcome.

[herecomesthespiderbrooch]

We got the My Family My Journey book, which is a lovely alternative to baby books.

I'd suggest a membership of a chocolate tasters club! Monthly chocolate for a year is probably just what they need!

Or anything you'd get for a birth child.