Finding Me a Family 9.00 pm 5 Dec Channel 4

[Italiangreyhound]

9.00pm - 10.00pm channel 4 tonight
Finding Me a Family

I will be watching with interest!

Anyone like to join me?

There are over 2000 kids in England in care, awaiting adoption. This film follows adoption activity days run by the children's charity Coram - parties that can radically change lives. Ep1 [Also in HD]

[hidinginthenightgarden]

I will definitely be watching this on catch up tomorrow. Thanks for letting me know!

[DeegeeDee]

Yes, we are watching!

[GirlsWhoWearGlasses]

Thanks Italian. Am watching

[Ketzele]

I'm here!

Interesting that foster carer of 4 children just said to prospective adopters, "I've done the hard work" (in helping the children calm down, recover from immediate trauma, learn manners). My dd's fc said exactly the same to me - I wonder if it's a fc trope??! (And, I wish all the 'hard work' could be completed within a few months!)

[MummyDoingHerBest]

Wishing I had a bigger house with more bedrooms to adopt a larger family......

[Italiangreyhound]

Ketzele it's a curious thing to say isn't it.

I think it might be better to say 'I've done the initial work."

Our son's foster carer did an amazing job, she was brilliant. But raising a child takes a very long time.

[Italiangreyhound]

Bloody hell, I am tearing up now! What fabulouos news.

[Italiangreyhound]

Hopefully other pre-adopters will see this and show an interest in the children featured.

[arielmanto]

Nice that there was a happy outcome - I get a bit concerned they paint adopting a group of 4 as a manageable challenge though, I can’t help thinking the chances of them settling as a sibling group of 4 are slim to none. I hope I’m wrong

[bostonkremekrazy]

I have a sibling group of 4. Its unbelievably hard....mine are more spaced out, and we struggle. We are experienced adopters and we struggle daily.
Any family that adopt 4 together will need intensive help, for weeks, months - dare I say Years after.
I've not watched the program yet though so the children may not have any needs at all, and may not need any 'extra help', but I dont' know any adoptive children who would fall into that category really.....all adopted children come with some baggage, they were taken from their birth mothers - that trauma in itself needs a different kind of care that birth children do not.
It may be wonderful to keep the 4 together - but actually, they may need to be apart - I wonder if sibling assessments have been done etc? (Ours as it happens have never had one!)

[Italiangreyhound]

I wonder if sometimes not staying together works better for some, like Lewis. But how can you tell which ones!

[Italiangreyhound]

@bostonkremekrazy do you have other kids too? How do you cope! I've got two and it can be a struggle!

[bostonkremekrazy]

yes - we have a birthchild, and a child with a SGO too.....so 6 little ones :)

[Italiangreyhound]

You have my admiration, six is a lot.

[bostonkremekrazy]

Ah I just watched it....a few tears shed for little Lewis.....so happy for another new family!

(and I hope he has some contact with his sister too)

[Amaried]

Not in the better of that. Such adorable children. It breaks my heart to think of siblings being split up after being through so much already..
So glad for Lewis. What s cutie.

[catlover1987]

Just watched this. As a prospective adopter, I don’t think I could handle going to one of these events. I’d want to take them all home. Is attending this sort of thing encouraged?

[fatberg]

Depends on your agency/region/matching criteria cat. The only profiles we ever saw were those of our children - I never had to reject anyone, on paper or IRL.

[hidinginthenightgarden]

Catlover - Our LA held one of these events but we weren't invited as had already been matched. I think it is a good way of getting homes for more "difficult to place" children as it brings them to life.
Going to watch the program now.

[Italiangreyhound]

catlover1987 if you wanted to adopt an older child, sibling group or harder to place child I cannot see any downside to meeting them in person- as long as you could think logically about it all of course.

What would your reservation be?

[Barbadosgirl]

Italian-my reservation would be that I would be utterly unable to control my emotions and would either be in floods or offer a home for them all! I can just about manage to try and let head rule heart with a child on paper but in person...no chance! I have watched 3/4 of the programme and sobbed unashamedly through most of it.

[MummyDoingHerBest]

I don’t think it is any stranger than adopting children you have never met either. Both have pros and cons.

My first intro to our wonderful children was when Girl said “Mummy!” on our first meeting.

[Italiangreyhound]

Barbadosgirl yes very tempting to cry. They did say at the becoming not to cry in front of the kids.

You coukdn't offer them all a home, either!

I guess it is not for all. I didn't go to one.

[Barbadosgirl]

I don't think it is wrong or any stranger than adopting a child you have never met. I just think I would turn into a jibbering wreck. Know your limits, as they say!

I am afraid I did not fare any better in the last 1/4 of the programme and it is debatable what made me cry more- the fact that (as I feared) no one showed any interest in Kye and Mickey or the fact that Lewis was adopted by that lovely couple who could not keep the soppy grins off their faces.

[Italiangreyhound]

I was very happy for Lewis but Kye and mikey did not fare well. Would a specifically black and minority ethnic activity day give children of different ethnicities a better shot at finding families?

We tried to adopt a mixed heritage child (we are white) and it became clear we would not be the right choice for that child. At the time it was hard but later we found ds and I cannot imagine his not being our child.

The mixed heritage child was gorgeous and younger than ds so I hope, and feel sure, they were found a family.