Hey,
I’ll try to make this as short as possible. It will appear to be more of a rant and something I need to get off my chest than anything else. I’m a 30 year old, first time mum with a 15 month old son. My partner works as a plasterer and has managed to work ALL THE WAY through lockdown back in March....however, he literally comes home and does nothing. Since the day my son was born he hasn’t bathed him...that’s right, EVER....even after being asked multiple time’s, he doesn’t “do” nappy changes, he never feeds him (not even his bottle) nothing...what I’m trying to say is I’m the default parent but to an extreme. I get the classic from him “I work all day so I want to come home and relax” he doesn’t get up for night terrors or if my DS is crying..and hasn’t since day dot. If I ask for his help it’s ALWAYS met with a grunt or a big sigh. So after now 15 months I’m learning to just make do and get on by myself.
Now, last week (when we were told we were not aloud any visitors to the house) I told my partner I was going out to my brothers birthday meal. My partner told me a friend was coming round to the house. Which I told him I wasn’t happy about because HELLO ITS AGAINST THE LAW! And just not safe. He disregarded what I said and this friend came round. On the Monday, said friend was tested positive for covid-19......that was it, we were in isolation for 14 days...or so you’d think, but no. My selfish partner carried on working... I stayed in our (very small) house alone for FOURTEEN DAYS to be met with no help.... when he came home and golf playing on the weekends. If anyone is a SAHM you know how lonely it can get right? You know it can get so overwhelming, especially if your LO is being a terror that day, you have constant guilt that you can’t visit people, interact with other human beings, are you doing enough with them? Are they bored of the same four walls like you are? The list is endless of how you feel.
Now the SECOND lockdown has been announced I have just fallen to bits... after it all I will of been in my house for 6 weeks straight with just my son and me, alone....I don’t know what to do. I just broke down into a pillow because my partner had a go at me for snapping at him. I told him (given angrily) that I was tired of having nothing from him, no “how are you doing through this?” No, “I’ll bath him and out him to bed if you like tonight” no empathy or help or support. I resent him that he gets to go to work and see people, he gets to have a commute..I resent him for his lack of support CONSTANTLY, I mean is it too
Much to ask to have someone put their arm around you and ask “are you ok? How you feeling?”
My parents have told me to live with them for a month during this second lockdown, under the condition my partner can’t see him... I don’t know what to do?!? ....I tried looking for a similar thread on here and struggled.
Any help or advice is welcome. Please tell me I’m not alone I’m feeling like this....
Lots of love. Stay safe xxxx
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Any Lockdown SAHM really struggling?
39 replies
Cwtchymumma · 31/10/2020 20:39
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