Snake in the attic

[Booboostwo]

I appreciate this sounds like the title of an idiotic movie but it is my life. I have a snake in the attic, this is the fourth time I've had snakes in the house.

The first time I went to clean the bathroom and the lino was weirdly lifted as if there was a long hose pipe underneath. Thinking it was an (huge and hose pipe shaped) air bubble, I went to squash it down and it moved! Later on I found a snake skin behind the TV so this guy had been with us for a while which is extra surprising as I have 3 dogs and 2 cats. Clearly all of them are entirely useless.

Second time friends were visiting when their dog started to bark non-stop in the middle of the night. Luckily they were sleeping with the dog in the bedroom because the snake had climbed up the ivy and in through the bloody window.

Number three was almost tame by comparison, the builders found a snake in the attic while working on the roof...

...and number four must be number three's long lost cousin as he's also in the attic but three years later.

Worse bit of the whole scary tale is that numbers 1, 2 and 3 were safely rehomed in the fields but bloody number 4 escaped and is still roaming the attic. Before anyone says, how large can this attic be, it's bloody massive and under renovation so a mess.

Any snake charmers about? Or do I have to wait till the snake joins me in bed? (I have moved the Jack Russell onto the bed now for extra safety!).

P.S. I am not in the UK, most snakes here are non-venomous but one variety is. Apparently you need to look into the slits of their eyes to figure which one is which - fuck that for a game of soldiers!

[Flyingarcher]

Eeeeeek! Puts my little problem with voles into perspective. Have no advice apart from poison or is there a rentokil version for snakes. Where are you????

[Booboostwo]

It's illegal to kill snakes where I live. There is a helpline to help advise and presumably (one hopes) to help you catch and release, but no one is answering.

[isabellerossignol]

Reading this makes me grateful I live in Ireland where I will never ever stumble across a snake.

I will try to bear this in mind next time I'm moaning about how crap the weather is here.

[DowntonCrabby]

Oh god, this reminds me of a very vivid pregnancy dream I once had. 🐍

Hope you get them sorted!

[Booboostwo]

Yes, the weather is really nice here...at least I will die warm and dry!

[PhoebeFriends]

I have mice in my attic. If you catch the snake please can I have it so I can get it to eat them

[HilaryBriss]

Reading this makes me grateful I live in Ireland where I will never ever stumble across a snake.

Unless someones pet python escapes

[Taddda]

P.S. I am not in the UK, most snakes here are non-venomous but one variety is. Apparently you need to look into the slits of their eyes to figure which one is which - fuck that for a game of soldiers!

How can you look into the slits of their eyes whilst your screaming like a banshee, grabbing the kids and running for the hills at a million miles an hour!?!!

Are the hills even safe!!??

My worst nightmare!!

[Taddda]

@HilaryBriss

Reading this makes me grateful I live in Ireland where I will never ever stumble across a snake.

Unless someones pet python escapes

....oh, thanks for that ! Currently shutting taping up the plug holes, toilet seats....!

[isabellerossignol]

@HilaryBriss

Reading this makes me grateful I live in Ireland where I will never ever stumble across a snake.

Unless someones pet python escapes

[TheCanyon]

@isabellerossignol

Reading this makes me grateful I live in Ireland where I will never ever stumble across a snake.

I will try to bear this in mind next time I'm moaning about how crap the weather is here.

I was a bit disappointed there to Google and find out Ireland doesn't have adders.

[sumsunnysun]

Can I ask what country you are in? Just so I never go there... seriously I'm going to have nightmares tonight

[Megatron]

This is literally the stuff of my nightmares. Honestly. The fact that you are still in your house and not in a tent somewhere means you are made of much stronger stuff than I am!

[Megatron]

because the snake had climbed up the ivy and in through the bloody window.

God almighty. 😱😱😱😱

[user1471565182]

My geography teacher was an african guy, he told us he once went to the toilet in the middle of the night, sat down in the dark when a snake dropped onto him from the ceiling. I still never piss in the dark.

[user1471565182]

wish I hadnt remembered that, I'll be checking behind the cushions all evening now.

[Megatron]

@user1471565182

FFS! What??? 🐍🤯

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

I once moved a bin in the garden and a snake slithered out. I nearly had a heart attack!

Your house is the stuff of my nightmares. Spiders are bad enough for me!

[Booboostwo]

It’s just France. I don’t know why we have so many snakes! We’ve seen loads more in the garden.

Do owls eat snakes? We have owls in the barn. Maybe I could trap an owl, release it in the attic and it will eat the snake! 🤣

[essexmum777]

Some options, Pet mongoose. Move to Ireland.

[GaraMedouar]

France? Yikes. What do you have there then? Adders? You need a Gruffalo , or a mouse.,

[iklboo]

We've got a pet snake. A 5ft lavender corn snake called Pike. He's gorgeous.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

France off the holiday list.

[dudsville]

OMFG. (disclaimer: it's friday, it's still lockdown and I'm on the beer)

[mopsue]

@booboostwo what part of France? I've visited family there for yrs & only have heard them & found the odd snake skin. Never in the house though 😱