Positive 3.5yr+ age gap between siblings stories please

[seven201]

We're struggling to conceive dc2 and I think hearing some positive 3.5yr+ age gap stories would help cheer me up! Anyone got any?We wanted a two year gap, but that's long gone now! I keep seeing siblings playing together and getting a bit very jealous.

[Zebedee88]

I'm a live in nanny for a family and I can tell you that the oldest and youngest child get on brilliantly and there is 4 years between them. There is another child in the middle, and they don't get on great.

[BareBelliedSneetch]

I’ve got 3.5 yrs between my two.

It’s been great. I was able to give No2 almost as much time and attention as No1 got as a newborn, as No2 was at preschool a fair amount of the time, and fairly self sufficient when he was at home (when I needed him to be). He was potty trained, and could wait for my attention for a few minutes at least.

They still enjoy playing together, and enjoy some of the same TV programmes and games. The older one likes teaching the younger one things he’s learnt at school.

There is 4 yrs between me and my sister. We played together as children, then hated each other through teen years. We are very close now.

[0hMy]

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling. I’m just over four years older than my brother (29 and 25) and we’re close as adults.
As children, we bickered a fair bit but which siblings don’t? I also enjoyed the role of older sister, things like still pretending Father Christmas was real, etc. There are pros and cons to any age gaps so don’t worry too much.

[sar302]

There's 3 years and 3 months between me and my sister. We played together all the time as kids. Teenage years were tricky - when I was 15 and she was 12 - not much in common. But now we're both adults with toddlers and age has no bearing on our relationship:)

[OnlineAlienator]

3yrs between me and sister - hate each other
9yrs between exDH and his bro - lifelong best friends

[JellycatElfie]

3 y 9 m between mine and it’s heaven. My oldest is so helpful and they’re so close at 4 and 5 months now. I too wanted a smaller age gap but both times struggled to get pregnant. It all works out for the best, I’m so glad I had this age gap now.

[Ikeameatballs]

That’s the age gap between mine. Great when the younger was little as the older was at nursery, toilet trained etc. As a toddler the younger totally worshipped his big sister. Now at nearly 13 and 9.5 it’s a bit trickier but they do love each other very much.

[Xerdna]

My girls are 4.5 years apart due to multiple losses in between - currently 3 and nearly 8. They adore each other and play for hours in each other’s bedrooms. I don’t know how usual that is but it’s bliss. They’re great friends and don’t like to be apart

[pippakins]

There is the same age gap between my eldest and middle child - both boys. Never been a problem and they are now 21 and 18 and get on better together than they have ever done.

[AuditAngel]

I have 2.5 years between my first 2 and 3.5 year gap to number 3. They play together a lot. We planned a 2.5 year gap as previously, but took longer to fall pregnant

[ButtonMooooon]

Ask me in a few months!!! DS1 will be 8 in June and DC2 due 4th August!! We also didn't expect this age gap but had secondary infertility. Now conceived through IVF at 42 using an egg donor

[seven201]

Thanks everyone. This is helping me feel a bit more positive about it x

[wonkylegs]

There is 8yrs between my two boys and generally they get on well.
They are currently just 3 and almost 11.
The little one adores his big brother and vice versa.
They do occasionally fight but it's rare as basically the toy / stuff fights aren't there as they aren't into the same stuff.
Sometimes it's a bit tricky to find family activities that work for everyone but we do find them.
They will never be at the same school at the same time. For us it's a positive gap though.
We deliberately had a big gap because I have RA and couldn't cope with two little ones so the first one had to be a little self sufficient before we could have another one. We then struggled to conceive, then lost a baby, then got DS2

[Mixedupmummy]

just over 3.5 years between dds. they're 6 and 3 atm. they're great play mates and have lots of common interests. agree it's got it's plus points having a slightly older child when you have a new born.

[SockQueen]

Almost 4 years between my sister and me, we have (nearly) always got on well! I was in school nursery when she was born so mum had a bit of respite each day, was out of nappies and could dress myself etc. I remember her being born but barely remember life without her.

Teenage years were tricky, more so when she hit her rebellious phase as I was getting a bit more sensible, but otherwise our relationship is very strong.

[Cuzcospoison]

I have two boys with 3.5 years in between them - I think it's perfect! They are 4.5 and 10 months now and starting to get to a point where they can play together, it's really lovely.

Another advocate for having a newborn when your firstborn sleeps through/out of nappies/can dress themselves etc. Best wishes for your future!

[IDrinkAndISewThings]

Three and a half years between my two, 6 year old girl and 2 and a half year old boy. On the whole they get on amazingly, he enjoys being led by her in play, she mostly is patient with him and even lets him play with her when her friends are round. I find I sometimes forget how little he still is and expect too much of him, and have to remind myself he's only two! But it's been a lovely gap, she was very interested in her brother as a baby but I had time to spend with them both and not feel like either was being neglected.

[Cutcrease]

9 years between my oldest DB and me and 6 years between my youngest (older) DB. Oldest DB was like a little dad to me growing up - didn’t mind me climbing into his bed at 6 am demanding he tell me a story and helped me with my music practice etc. Other DB not to close when we were young but from about him being 20+ we have been very close indeed. We are very alike in temperament and personality and have the same sense of humour and can spend any amount of time together without annoying each other. I’m nearly 60 and as adults we’ve had one argument which we were over by the end of the afternoon.

There are 3.6 years between my DGDs and while there was a bit of understandably jealous behaviour for a bit, the oldest is so sweet with the baby now. And it’s great that she can entertain herself while the youngest is being fed, sorted out etc and the fact that she is generally more independent now is a real help for DD&DSIL.

[riotlady]

There’s 8 years between my sister and I and we get on great! We’re the only siblings I know that have never had an argument. Struggled a bit when she was 5/6 and I was 13/14 as I really wanted to do my own thing, but other than that patch we’ve always been the best of friends.

[enjoyingscience]

Mine are 5 and 10 - they get along great. I think with the cost of childcare a 3+ year gap is very common. No way I could have afforded two in full time nursery. Never occurred to me to feel guilty about it!

[Gingersstuff]

IDrink I had the same experience as you when mine were wee. 3.5 years between my DD and DS and they get on brilliantly. They’re 18 (DD) and 15 (DS) now and genuinely have never fought. Mild bickering and eye rolling is as bad as it ever got. Just back from a family holiday with them both and it was fantastic. My DS has been suffering from anxiety, low mood and teenage hormones lately and of course as parents don’t understand these things having his sister to talk to has been a huge help to him. I think it’s the perfect age gap

[treenu]

There is 3.5 years between our ds and did. After a tricky start they now both adore each other and share jokes. It worked well as I was able to have lots of time with dd as ds went to nursery some days. Really sweet to see them interact.

[pearldeodorant]

I'm mid twenties currently on holiday with my brother who's that exact age gap older than me. We're super close and always have been, even lived together in London as students!

My parents never got on with their siblings so made a conceited effort to treat us equally and try and encourage us to get on even when we wound each other up and I think it really helped when we were younger. By the time we were teens we had so many common interests it was easy to get on.

It's the age gap I'd hope to have with my children :) (although I know you can't always choose!!)

[LaganOnABubble]

3 years 10 months between my two and they played together lots when young, really enjoyed spending time with one another.

[TeenTimesTwo]

We have just over 5 years between ours (6 years academic)
I could do after school activities for dd1 with dd2 tagging along, and then when dd2 started dd1 was independent.

DD1 could have full focus while doing her GCSEs, and DD2 will get that too. Plus I have had 6 years to recover between them. None of this A levels & GCSEs happening simultaneously nonsense here.

Because of the age gap it was clear DD2 couldn't do things at the same time as DD1, so we were able to have different rules for each dependent on their needs. Plus no risk of DD2 'overtaking' DD1 academically.

They have had a great bond until DD1 hit older teens, but I'm hopeful that when DD1 gets a bit more grown up it will restore itself.