Why can't I sleep until my husband is home

[twelv]

If my husband goes out for an evening, I cannot sleep until he's back. We've been together 4 years! It's so annoying. It also leads to unreasonable arguments when he's home late etc.

[icebearforpresident]

My husband worked nights for 8 years and it took me 6 months before I could sleep normally. In my case it was just that I wasn’t used to going to sleep being the only person in the house (i went straight from living with my parents to living with him). Have you ever lived alone?

[twelv]

It's weird because if he's out all night ie away, then I'm fine! It's when I'm 'expecting him back'. I get really anxious and can't sleep at all

[FoodGloriousFud]

Neither of us can sleep without the other!

[cjt110]

I can't stand going to bed at the same time as DH. Just him breathing makes me irate lol

[CarlGrimesMissingEye]

I'm with @cjt110 but I do like him in the house. When he's away I don't sleep right.

[Racecardriver]

I can’t sleep alone.

[ILiveInSalemsLot]

It’s really weird as I’m like that and I’m not needy at all but I can’t sleep when dh isn’t at home but is due back.
I think it’s to do with the expectation? Like being in an alert state, listening for the door or something. It gets on my nerves.

[twelv]

Seems to be a female thing too because none of my male mates seem to mind if their wives go out. Kind of nice to hear I'm not alone!

[PerfectlyPosed]

I'm exactly the same. I can normally fall asleep quite easily but if I wake up and he's not home, I then can't sleep and lie there listening out for him. I normally end up more tired than him the morning after.

[starfishmummy]

As others have said I think it's because I know that dh will disturb me if he comes back after I'm in bed. He doesn't do it deliberately but even him getting into bed would be enough

[Juanbablo]

I sleep even worse than normal when dh is away. When he's home I fall asleep easily at a decent (sometimes too early) time. When he's away I'm awake until past midnight then restless all night and awake at 5.

[BookWitch]

I'm the same OP, if DH is away I sleep fine, but if he is coming back I won't settle until he is back.
I have always been like this and have no magic answers.
I am the same with adult DDs being out late.

It annoys them when I stay up until they are back but there is really no point in me going to bed

[twelv]

I'm resigned to the fact that I'll be the same when my son is old enough to go out alone! Why can't we just switch off!

[CupoBlood]

Why does it create arguments ?

[twelv]

Creates arguments because if he says 'I'll be home at X' and he's home at Y, it annoys me because I just want him home

[Unicornandbows]

I could lay in bed for hours but as soon as dh comes to bed within seconds I am snoring my ass off. If in the middle of the night I wake up and he has gone to the loo then I can't get back to sleep until I see him crawling back in. Think of him as my comfort bear lol

[SouthernComforts]

Creates arguments because if he says 'I'll be home at X' and he's home at Y, it annoys me because I just want him home

I understand being unused to sleeping alone but that ^^ would drive me insane. If a partner actually argued with me because I didn't come home at a specific time just so they could sleep I'd feel suffocated.

[DuchessofManchester]

I'm exactly the same op I've just given up going to bed If I'm expecting him home that night...put a nice film on cuddle up with a blanket and drink wine then go to bed together.

[0lgaDaPolga]

Yeah I can’t either. It’s worse if I’m expecting him back but I still sleep really badly if he’s on a work trip. Which is ridiculous because he’s such a snorer. I must be used to the noise!

[MerryTwinkletoes]

I do this too! For me I think it's that I can't get to sleep because I'm expecting to be woken up when he gets home so I can't relax iyswim. Causes loads of arguments!

[sunsalutations]

Exactly the same for me OP, been like this for 20 years. Makes no sense to me!

[paxillin]

Could he perhaps text you occasional updates if you tend to worry a lot? "It will be a late one, but Rob said he'd drive me home" or some such. He might not be keen, but it is better than arguing perhaps.

[jenniuol]

My husband is like this. If I’m out or night shift then he can’t get to sleep/has a terrible sleep. I’m the opposite! If he’s night shift I love getting the bed to myself 😂 I do feel safer when he’s there right enough but sleep fine unless any strange noises etc 🙄

[LettuceP]

I hate it when mine says he will be late (so I'm thinking well past midnight) and he comes home just as I'm nodding off at 11ish. Wakes me up and then I feel like we have to have a conversation about his evening bla bla and I end up getting to sleep so late.
On the rare occasion he is away I love it because I can starfish in bed

[FrazzyAndFrumpled]

I’m not really like this, but DP is when I’m out.

My mum used to be unable to sleep when I was out partying as a young adult. Bless her