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Should I buy DC a gift from DD who has not long passed?

(12 Posts)
Onadietcolabreak Mon 24-Sep-12 20:56:32

My DCs have been through alot in the past year or two, they have lost a Dad (left home) a half bro and Sis ( want nothing to do with us since there dad left us) a great Grandad (passed two years ago) and a month ago my D Dad, there only grandad (there dads side has disowned them too)

Last year I carried on the tradition there great Grandad started, buying them annoying singing Christmas animals and will do again this year.

But I know there going to miss there Grandad like mad come Christmas, he stayed with us last year for our 1st Xmas alone.
Should I buy them a gift for under the tree from him? Or would that make it worse?

The reason I'm thinking of it is me and my DM are the only one buying for them this year. I don't want them to feel unloved sad

LadySybildeChocolate Mon 24-Sep-12 20:58:58

sad Could you get them a star? I know it's cheesy, but that way their loved ones are watching over them.

Roseformeplease Mon 24-Sep-12 21:01:19

I think you should do exactly what you want. You have a chance to make Christmas special for you and for them. I am so sorry you have had such a rough time. I don't know how old they are but maybe this Christmas you could say he left presents for them but, in the future, just remember him on the day by talking about him and sharing photographs and memories. Have a wonderful Christmas.

MisForMumNotMaid Mon 24-Sep-12 21:09:08

I'm so sorry for all tour loss, you must feel exhausted. Good on you for thinking about making the future positive.

Do you do Father Christmas? Could they have some Father Christmas presents under the tree too, could they have presents labeled from each other, presents from the angels who watch over them (like your dad), rudolf as a thank you for the carrot and mince pie, their Christmas elf (see the elf on the shelf threads for more info).

Your caring here shows you have lots of love. Children only know what they have and they don't generally over analyse in our complex adult way.

One word of warning though... I had one Christmas on my own with my two DS's. DS1was four, DS2 was almost 2. At bed time on Christmas Day DS1 told me he'd had a lovely day and he really didn't mind that I hadn't brought him many presents, he knew we didn't have much money, but Father Christmas had been really generous! I'd run out of labels so everything unlabelled was from Father Christmas.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Mon 24-Sep-12 21:35:05

Could you maybe buy them a potted Christmas Tree for the garden and say it's "Grandad's Tree" ? they can decorate it and pot it up to a bigger tub.
They grow a bit each year, the new leaves are a lovely bright green.

Would it confuse your DC to recieve a present from Grandad.
Bearing in mind it's 3 months time. They'll be more understanding as time goes by.
How old are your DC?

Onadietcolabreak Tue 25-Sep-12 14:13:02

Thank you all x
I do a stocking for Santa (all good things, not tat) and my and EXP would have got them a few big gifts from us in years gone by, and a large gift from Great Grandad and a large gift from each my parents all under the tree in the morning. Then on boxing day my ex SC would buy them a gift each from both of them, so they were well and truly spoilt. I could fill the gap buy getting them to choose a small gift to each of there siblings. They are 12, 5 and 19 mnths.

They don't really need anything, I just worry the difference will make them notice all they have lost sad

I love all your ideas, something that won't just be another toy. I'm going to get them a tree to share and see if I can find them a star (metal maybe?) each from grandad, and that will be theirs forever to remember him each Christmas .

misformum bless you, you brought a flood tear to my eyes x
I have an elf now, this will be the first year, I'm thinking more magic than money this year, and the Elf on the shelf more than fills that role smile

NatashaBee Tue 25-Sep-12 14:15:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch Tue 25-Sep-12 14:19:02

I am so sad for your DC - what a lot of loss for them, and you.

here are some crystal stars that you could choose from - nicer than metal, IMO, but of course more fragile so maybe not such a good plan.

Can't believe your ex's family have all cut your DC off though - that's just so nasty. sad

Frontpaw Tue 25-Sep-12 14:20:05

I would buy a singing animal decoration or something for the tree and say that you are continuing a family tradition - it is lovely to have something that will give them happy memories and a sense of continuity in years to come. Imagine them doing the same think in 20 years time.

Light a candle for grandpa on christmas eve and raise a glass to him.

Frontpaw Tue 25-Sep-12 14:20:54

Oh - an sorry they've been through a rough time (you a well). Make sure that you all have a lovely time - look forward not back (hang on, isnt that a Noddy Holder song coming on?)

ELR Tue 25-Sep-12 14:31:06

I know how you feel. I always get my two something from my grandma but it's always a star related thing as she told them before she died she would turn into a star and be able to shine down on them. It's been five years this year and they still live it.

And now I'm crying!

ELR Tue 25-Sep-12 14:31:38

Sorry love it not live it!

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