childcare decision - any thoughts? (OMG This is long)

[motherpeculiar]

As some of you may remember I've been searching for someone (I'm calling it a Mother's Help) to look after DD2 (5 months old) two days a week at home while I work (from home). This is probably now going to extend to looking after DD1 (3 yrs)on one of the days also as my office want me to commit to working on one of her non-nursery days. That's the background.

HAve now interviewed 6 candidates and whittled down to a shortlist of three. WOnder if any of you more experienced employers of AuPAirs, Mother's Helps, Nannies might have any insights to help me decide between them

Candidate 1 - 23 years old. NVQ in childcare. First Aid qualification (couple of years ago). 18 months experience in a nursery. 18 montsh experience as Home Help for different overseas families posted here for work. Very pleasant manner. Seemed good with the baby. Responded well to interview questions, seemed intelligent and responsive. Has her own 5 year old son. Lives about 20 mins drive (on a good day) to an hour (on a bad day) away. Also works as a promotor nights and weekends. Flexible about days but needs to drop off and pick up son to school and from after school club. Seemed to have plenty of energy but said her worst point was being sensitive and taking things personally. I really liked her but don't want someone I have to pussyfoot around. Also worried about how long her drive wil take and whether she'll be reliable as a result. Will she get sick of it and give up?

No 2 40 year old mum of 6. Again very pleasant manner and very gentle and nice with DD1. Didn't voice her own firm opinions about things like food, discipline etc but said she would take direction from me. Happy to do general housework too. HAs worked as mother's help before. 3 kids of school going age. WOuld be dependent on her family to help out with pickups, dropoffs and school holidays. Having some personal relationship issues at the moment - should I let this influence judgement? Very local and would cycle to and back.

No. 3 27 year old Czech au pair who wants to move out from family (she has discussed this with them) and move in with bf. Very good English but studying further. Flexible on days. Lives nearby and can easily bus it (or walk). No kids or other family committments. Has 14 years experience with kids in summer camps etc. 2 years in UK with families of 4 kids each. Only candidate who brought written references. Will disclose current families phone no only if sucessful at interview (fair enough I suppose). Didn't warm to this woman as quickly, but felt that she would be capable and efficient and most of all reliable. She was pleasant with DD1 and 2. Referred a few times to the fact that things (eg routines, toilet training) are stricter in Czech rep but said she is happy to go along with our way of doing things. Could bring a bit of much needed discipline re. things like eating into DD1's life if we played our cards right. Came across as intelligent and well organised. Mybe a bit stricter than the other two but that might not be the worst thing in the world

So, any thoughts. DH and I are veering towards no.3 as she seems the least complicated proposition and I feel would look after our DDs very well, possibly without too much smothering with love but then I guess that is what we are there for. (although one of her references said the families children had absolutely loved her)

just got two more calls in response to ad tonight but am getting tired of interviewing (although will probably phone interview them at least)

it is harder than I though, this lark

[motherpeculiar]

thanks Jackstini

I will definitely take her on on trial basis and hopefully will work out

am finding this whole thing much more stressful than I imagined

[goldenoldie]

My thoughts..............

No: 3 - sounds a bit sneaky. If she has told family she is leaving why can't you ring them now to get a reference - afterall, it won't be a surprise to them? Has she really told them she is looking for another job? Or is she not sure they would give her a good ref?

How can she have 14 years experience? Was she working in a summer camp when she was 13 years old? I thought summer camps were to look after children - not to employ them?

And anyone who starts talking discipline/'things are done differently in my country' at the interview, already thinks you have a couple of spoilt brats who are allowed to get away with murder. Does not bode well.

No: 2 - sounds a bit complicated, personal 'issues', and no car which would make things a bit awkward for pick-ups and drop-offs. What if her family let her down/can't do it? Will you kids be hanging about in the rain waiting with her?

I would go for No: 1. Childcare qualifications and formal childcare experience in a range of settings, as well as being a mum herself.

The fact that she is sensitive is a positive, it means she might listen to what you say and act on it, rather than ignore it and carry on.

[goldenoldie]

Sorry - only just read what happened.

Did you get good refs for no: 3 then?

[starshaker]

why dont u go for no 3 a planned on trial and if its not going well just readvertise pity i dont live in london any more id jusmp at chance lol. by the way where in se is it might know a few nannies i worked with who would be interested

[hovely]

motherpeculiar, having just gone through the whole recruitment thing for a nanny, I would actually say think about it all again and consider recruiting again. An hour's drive is a real PITA, especially both ways, and what is she going to do if her son is ill? School holidays? Half terms? Occasional inset days? And especially as you are going to be at home the whole time and able to hear every little thing that goes on, it could be a lot of pressure for both of you.
Sorry i didn't see if you posted about how you did the recruitment, but I used several different internet sites and had a pleasant surprise about how good the response was. the best site was gumtree, by a mile. Nannyjob also good. Ad in the "Lady" complete waste of time & money. Out of about 30 replies, 50% were not what we were looking for (we wanted qualified & experienced), another 25% were put off by our evidently meagre wages and outrageous hours, so that left 6 serious contenders, of whom I interviewed 3 face to face. Even after we offered the job some great candidates were still applying. the trick as I see it is to ask for EMAIL responses only, get them to email their CVs, then you can pick and choose at your leisure.
But as regards your situation, there will be plenty of people whose own change of circumstances has left them looking for a job to start at short notice, and while I can imagine that your hearts sink at the idea of doing it all again, it would be even worse to have a long drawn out saga of things going wrong and then trying to recruit over the Christmas holiday (for example) especially as DD1's own feelings will be involved.

[motherpeculiar]

thank you people - I have been interviewing again and have met some good candidates. I am still considering No1 although she has said she doesn't want to do part of the job description (any tidying other than after herself - I had wanted her to do kids rooms and bathroom) and also she can't start on the first day as she has to take her son to hospital. It all augurs a bit badly I think there.

Each of the two new candidates I have met so far has had many good qualities and I felt I could feel very comfortable with them in my home and looking after the kids. Only thing is neither has direct experience with babies, older kids yes so DD1 would be fine. They both seem very capable and I would be in the house and DD2 is a very easy baby, but should I let this put me off???

God, I NEVER thought it would be so tricky. [exhausted and bewildered emoticon] I obviously just hadn't thought it through enough.


Thanks for all your thoughts.