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Weekend away from Baby!

29 replies

BexSandy · 13/02/2005 20:32

My partner and I are considering a weekend away from our 7.5 month old son, but I'm starting to feel guilty about leaving him - even though he'll be in our home with his adoring grandma. What do you all think? Has anyone else been away successfully (or not) at this stage? Advice & help please!?

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LauraJones · 17/02/2005 20:59

My DD is 2 next month and I can count on one hand the amount of nights I've spent away from her and 3 of those were overnights in hospital. DH and I whinge like crazy saying we need a break from her and QT together even for the weekend but I hate the thought of not being there in the morning when she gets up. I know she'll have a ball staying at the grandparents for the night or weekend but just feel they won't know what to do with her, afterall, it's been 30 years since they last had to do it!
We don't live anywhere near our parents, so they never ask if they want us to take her, so am envious of those who do have family on the doorstep and can drop them round for the afternoon. An afternoon to myself would be bliss!

ThomCat · 17/02/2005 20:30

If you're considering doing it then do it, just go for it. Time with your dh is important, childless time is important and makes you a better mum in the long term, in my opinion. Yes you'll miss him but that's ok, go for it, treat yourselves. You'll love it, he'll love being with his doting grandma and grandma will love it, e veryone's a winner.

egypt · 17/02/2005 20:24

sorry, just read the recent posts, and same to you newyearmum! that is tough though. hmmmm, a long time and to be expected not to take babies. mind you, we had no children at our wedding as there just wasnt the room, but now i feel so terrible. what must i have put those mums through!?

egypt · 17/02/2005 20:20

bexsandy, i left dd at exactly that age just this new year, for 2 nights. we went to prague and left her with my mum and dad ( at our house). i like you was torn to pieces with the thought of it - you'll find me ranting all over place if you search). some people advised me not to, some didnt. i wanted to go and have 2 nights of decent sleep and spend time with dh. but i was so scared she'd not survive without me! you know, wouldnt eat, sleep - nothing. but...she was absolutely FINE. in fact she slept better. wierd. she took to the bottle fine, even though she was having none of it with me. they totally accept you're not there and its kind of out of sight out of mind. as long as you are comfortable with the person you leave him with and know they they understand your son's needs/know his routine and HE is happy with them he will be FINE. and you'll wonder why you never did it before!

that's my advice anyway. good luck xxxx

Newyearmum · 17/02/2005 18:07

Redhotmamma - the idea was that we bring her with us - except that because babies aren't allowed at the wedding, we were supposed to leave her with a Spanish babysitter down the road (no chance). So I'm expected to be there anyway. Very complicated but sadly I either fall out bigstyle with best friend or spend these nights apart from DD. It's actually 4 nights and 5 days

garbo · 17/02/2005 13:38

Do it!! Our first weekend away when dd was 10 months was fabulous. OK, I cried before we left, while we were leaving and for the first half an hour in the car - but then once we were there, cracked open the wine, realised we could have a lie in with the newspapers and do exactly what we wanted for a whole weekend, I had a ball. More importantly dd was fine, didn't notice we'd gone and was loving being top dog at grandma's. She loves being with either grandparents (and they love having her) should we want a night out, a weekend away (even four days in Prague earlier this year) and she really doesn't bat an eyelid.
Remember, they have no concept of time. When my sister had been away for 6 days someone asked her dd where her mummy was and she said 'in the kitchen'!

Redhotmamma · 16/02/2005 23:30

We left DD for one night when she was ten months and went away quite close by. When she was 15 months we had two nights away abroad and at 17 months I went away for the first time on my own since her birth on a hen weekend for two nights. I think it is best just to go with your gut instinct and not do anything you don't feel comfortable with. NewYearMum do you have to go for the full five nights? They are lucky to have you as a bridesmaid when you are going to be apart from your little one in the first place.

jamiesam · 16/02/2005 23:04

If you think that he'll be happy with his adoring grandma (I suspect that he'll be very happy!) then I should try and steel yourself to go. It will probably do you all some good. I've never left both our ds's with someone other than dh. Am a bit of a scaredy cat mum, but also don't have adoring grandma's around, sadly. Have a lovely time! If you want a gentle lead in - has grandma stayed with you and put him to bed and got him up in the morning before? Might be worth considering as ime that's when they're at their most sensitive. Only if you're as scaredy as me though!

gemmamay · 16/02/2005 21:41

Our little one was 6 months and we were only in the next town and it was for one night only! It felt like i was a teenager bunking off school!

I was bf and the week before was expressing like crazy only for her to refuse the bottle (but she didn't get upset) she even slept through for Granny.

Great break to be an adult again, just heart breaking to throw away 32oz of expressed milk!

Bozza · 15/02/2005 16:44

With DS (haven't left DD yet) I found the first time quite difficult but after that much easier. Have still not left him for more than a night with anyone other than DH (that was two nights once) but he goes off to his grandparents for 24 hours every couple of months. Since I still have DD and he is always grumpy/tired the next day it is more for him/them than me at the moment....

Newyearmum · 15/02/2005 16:39

Unbelievable timing as this is an issue close to my heart at the moment...

I am a bridesmaid/matron of honour (!) in June when DD will be 11 months. The problem is that:

a) the wedding is in Spain
b) babies are not allowed at the wedding
c) I am expected to be there for 5 days before the wedding to join in the celebrations

So we have to be apart for 4 nights. I feel so, so whenever I think about it. DD will be with DH for 3 nights then with mil for last night.

Gutted - HOW WILL I COPE???

motheroftwins · 15/02/2005 13:28

This is about you really and not about your child - he will be just fine, infact this is the absolute best time to do this kind of thing as he won't have utter hysterics when you leave the room. I wish we had done it more when my two (now 21 mths) were that age. Its really about whether you can cope with the separation!! Our first night away was at 14 mths and it was very hard but I know other mums who jet off with work at a moments notice (we haven't actually been away from them since!) To see how you cope how about doing one night (sat am to sunday pm) and only an hour or so from home so that you feel close but are still away. I have learnt by now that its so important for you and hubby to continue your life together enjoying eachother and thats important for your kids as well - go and enjoy!!

Carameli · 15/02/2005 12:19

we left our DD for a weekend when she was about 7mnths with her grandparents. I have to admit that I was in tears leaving her but my mum told me it was the best thing I could do, that I should take a chance for a break when I could.

The first weekend away I did call quite a bit check on her but we also started to try and get away for a weekend every few months. The other times got easier.
It is also really great to have a chance to be a couple again and just to choose where you want to go in the evening, restaurant, pub etc etc

The smiles when you get back are so amazing as well.

lapsedrunner · 15/02/2005 10:25

I left my ds with my sister for a wekend when he was 10 months old and it was wonderful! Can't say I felt too guilty, just relieved to be on my one for a while even though I was working. Make the most of it and enjoy yourselves.

hercules · 15/02/2005 10:24

We would never have done it but it is a personal thing. I did go to work though when dd was 5 months which is probably far worse......

myermay · 15/02/2005 10:22

Message withdrawn

BexSandy · 14/02/2005 17:54

Thank you everyone for your comments! I saw a paediatrician this morning and asked his advice too. He said if he'd been in our position (we've had a bit of a tough time since the birth) he'd have done it ages ago! That made me feel it was okay. I will miss ds, still feel a bit worried and concerned that he may feel abandoned, but I know his grandma will give him lots of love - and we need this break... so I took the plunge and booked it. Wish us luck and thank you!

OP posts:

Toothache · 14/02/2005 08:15

I went away from DS for the 1st time when he was 11 months old. It was my best friends Hen Night down in Newcastle. Since I was the Chief Bridesmaid I felt obliged to go. To make matters worse DH was going to the Stag Night down in Liverpool (where his folks live), my Mum was working so DH had to take Ds with him and leave him at his Mums! Ds didn't see his Nana and Grandad in Liverpool for 3 months at a time so was always a bit strange with them at first. I felt sick at the thought of leaving him and phoned constantly..... I found that large amounts of alcohol and a foam covered dancefloor acted as a good distraction though and the time passed quickly and without incident. Have fun!

reindeer · 14/02/2005 08:13

I should add my dh is more than capable and would never stop me if I wanted a break, I just don't feel I could leave them yet...

Also this has as much to do with finances as anything else.
I gave up work to raise the kids and we live on a VERY low income, so nights away are out for now...

reindeer · 14/02/2005 08:08

I couldn't do it, but I don't think that's a good thing as I feel a bit if a martyr saying that

I have never had a break away from my kids and the oldest is nearly 7

But this is mainly due to having no relatives nearby that I could leave them with and be relaxed too. I have a sister I'd leave them with but she's 400 miles away and hasn't ever offered anyway...

So I'd say if baby is happy and your mum can manage GO FOR IT!!!

Bozza · 13/02/2005 21:25

I think basically its down to you. He'll be fine - familiar surroundings, his familiar Grandma etc. So its down to how you feel about it. If you're worried about a weekend what about trying one night first?

madgirl · 13/02/2005 21:21

i think you should go with your gut instincts. with ds1 i left him for 2 nights for a girly w/end in spain and didn't enjoy it one iota, but with ds2, i left him with dh and ds1 for a night when he was 10 weeks and HAD A BALL!! if there is quite a big part of you that is anxious i would say leave it for a couple more months. everyone is different and it doesn't make you a bad or good, neurotic or too laid back mummy if you decide to go,or not. xx

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lockets · 13/02/2005 21:21

This reply has been deleted

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Twiglett · 13/02/2005 21:17

I had to go away for a night when DS was about 9 months old

I hated it and got up at 6am to get the first train back (it was a company christmas do .. I couldn't wait to leave the hotel)

I wouldn't do it again (DS is now 4 and DD is 9 months now) .. it wasn't right for me and I can't imagine it ever being right for me

But .. you do what you feel is right for you so if you want to, do it

CountessDracula · 13/02/2005 21:15

Hi I did it when dd was 4 months - went to Tobago for a week and left dd with grandma. It was fine. I missed her like hell but tbh I needed the break after an awful birth and 9 hour general anaesthetic which left me exhausted and zombie like! I would do it if Grandma is up for it

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