Being cut out at work

[Indecisivelurcher]

My dh is being cut out at work by his new manager. Any advice on how he should handle?

Small company, dh is functional manager for a small team. His old boss had head hunted him and also promoted him up within the company. They worked well together and got on well. Company seemed really happy with him.

Then last year, his boss was sacked, in a pretty messy way. The replacement who was bought in is now leaving dh out of things. He doesn't speak to dh much from day to day. Small things like not asking how the weekend was. Then more important like reprimanding him for not knowing how to do something, or for his team members work. Dh reacted by being purposefully nice, extra diligent etc.

But now he's not been included in the process of interviewing for people in the team. He didn't know interviews were even happening. He would have expected to be central to that process.

How should he handle this? He feels like the new boss just doesn't like him. There is a more junior person he seems to favour.

[Indecisivelurcher]

Bump

[Listeningtogold]

Tell your dh to go to HR.

[Indecisivelurcher]

Would you raise it with the boss in question first?

[BarrelOfOtters]

He should note everything down, even little things. It sounds like they want him to leave. He needs to have a think about whether he wants to stay or look for a new job. Change can be scarey, but that kind of exclusion can eat away at your confidence.

If I was your husband I would do it all by the book. Talk to the boss about his prospects. Talk to HR.

. I, I'd look for a new job and then go to the Employment Tribunal citing constructive dismissal.

[dreamfield]

then go to the Employment Tribunal citing constructive dismissal.

I can't see that op has said whether he's worked there more than 2 years.

Besides which constructive dismissal is incredibly hard to win at tribunal. And if you stay after what you're alleging was a "breach" by your employer then you can be considered to have accepted it by staying.

I don't think ideas of constructive dismissal claims are helpful, almost nobody wins them even when really truly terrible things have happened - and this isn't in that category.

I assume he's not a member of a union?

I'd probably raise it informally before involving HR. Then your options are union, Acas, employment lawyer (do you have legal cover on home insurance?), and finding a new job.

[Indecisivelurcher]

I was thinking more along the lines of, should he raise this with his boss, if so how, or should he go higher, go to HR, ignore it... I think up until the interview stuff this week he was thinking was it him, but now it's clearer it's not.

[dreamfield]

If he wants to stay I don't know that it's enough to be kicking up a fuss about. A lot of what you've said could be explained away, e.g. trying to develop the junior person or having a different management style.

If he raised it with his boss I'd probably approach it in a curious way of wanting to understand the interview decision or whatever. I don't think complaining about not being asked about his weekend will go down well (with the boss or HR tbh).

Without knowing more details about the previous person's exit etc (which you should not post here), it's difficult to tell what's going on. The new person might just be a bit of a rubbish manager or not enjoy chitchat.

[SummerGardener]

Before he says or does anything, tell him to join a union.

Then if he is right, and he is being sidelined, he'll have some support.

[Indecisivelurcher]

Things have gotten even worse today with direct grievances levelled at dh. None were able to be substantiated. I've suggested to DH he asks for things in writing and keeps his own record.

[dreamfield]

Oh dear. I know this probably isn't what you/he wants to hear, especially if he'd been happy there before this, but it might be wise to at least make sure his CV is up to date and take a look at what other jobs are out there.

[Indecisivelurcher]

Yes he will be doing that. They've shown him how they operate so he's got to listen to that really. It might take a while to find something else so he'll have to smile and nod.

[Spirallingdownwards]

I wouldn't be complaining about not asking about his weekend.

The rest may be just a different style of management than your husband is used to from his old boss. He may just not be the chatty type.

If you husband is perhaps being oversensitive about such minutiae then perhaps he is over reacting and wasn't reprimanded as such for not being able to do something but that his new boss expressed surprise or concern that your DH couldn't do that thing.

Also perhaps your DH hasn't been in a senior enough position long enough to realise that sometimes "the buck stops with the person leading a team" when the team members do something wrong.

I suspect your DH just got used to being comfortable working in a certain way with his old boss (who was sacked for whatever) reason and doesn't like the new style of management the new boss uses.

It seems like DH may be overreacting somewhat if one example is he didn't ask about my weekend.

[Indecisivelurcher]

I tried to go from trivial to not trivial to paint an overall picture of what it's like. Obviously he wouldn't complain about not being asked about his weekend! He definitely is sensitive and I agree some of it could be management style that he's not used to. But more recent events in light of things that went on previously indicate he's being pushed out.