all flexible working requests refused. its 7am til 6ishpm 5 days or nothing.....

[madeindevon2]

i dont feel i can handle this ....would need to leave baby with someone at 6am to commute into London. plus i have to work for as long as its busy so you never know....sometimes 5.30 sometimes 6.30...how does that fit with organising childcare?
Ive been in this role for 10 years. i thought they might have given a little ( i asked for 8 til 5 so wasnt ridiculous!)
I feel they are trying to push me out.
(there are no other woman working there...let alone mothers.)
psd off but also worried for the future.
can i ask them to make me redundant? then try get another job doing something different?

[madeindevon2]

ok thanks squiffy.
i have decided i love my son more than i love my job and everything that goes with it.
yes i will miss the financial rewards but honestly thats about it! I can't say it was particularly intellectually challenging. I did get a the whole "adrenaline buzz" thing initially but right now i want to spend more time with my baby.

[Varanasi]

Hi MadeinDevon2,

Please take FloweryBeanBag's advice and please do NOT tell your work you might resign. This is a huge sign of weakness from you and looks extremely bad. Why should they give you anything if you make it clear that you aren't that bothered about working and would rather be with your child? (Sorry - not meant to sound agressive - but showing you the way an employer will think)

If you end up resigning because they can't give you what you want then you will however want to get something out of it - especially since you were a high flier. Your employer does have a responsibility to TRY and accommodate you at least and this should also mean that you should be offered an alternative role with different hours if one is available. It may of course not be possible. Your employer should not have said your role is incompatible with motherhood. Did they actually say that though ie in those exact words? Sometimes as humans we perceive things in the wrong way so check that this isn't what has happened here.

The problem you face however is that you appear to think that the flexi work proposal you have put forward is actually unworkable for your employer. In which case I am unclear why you put forward the proposal for flexi work in the first place. RibenaBerry's advice was great and I honestly think that you need to go back to the drawing board and decide how your company could accommodate you better and possibly come up with a slightly different proposal at your appeal that is more justifiable. You need to think whether there is room for a change in role, a change in work pattern etc... Show your employer that you have thought about their needs.

You do however appear to have decided you would rather be with your child and work long hours so slightly more family friendly hours may make no difference. However I'd still advise you to continue with the flexi working procedure as it is the only way to give yourself the widest possible number of options later on. If you don't do this you will have to resign but if you go through the process you still can resign but you may potentially get some reward. This is because you suggest that your employer has made inappropriate comments already and has not followed procedure. If you don't appeal, raise a grievance etc... you won't be able to do anything about these things. The fact you were a high flier with 10 years experience means there is potentially a lot at stake.

Good luck!

[blueshoes]

madeindevon2, sorry your proposal got rejected. You are getting good advice and you know what you want.

Strategically, I will reiterate that you must never let on you are even thinking of resigning. Since you have to appeal the decision anyway (notwithstanding you have since changed your mind about working), it would make sense to make the most of it by suggesting changing to a more family friendly role within the same company for lower pay and reduced hours - is there a middle office role you can fill? Once you are out of your team's clutches (and profit centre), I don't think they could care less to fight you. This tactic worked very well for me when my flex working applcation got refused and I am now in a great pt role and don't get bothered by my former colleagues. Subtly hint that if they refuse, you will go back to work in the same role fulltime as always.

The more meetings you have with them, the more chances they will shoot themselves in the foot with discriminatory comments. All good fodder for negotiating a settlement to your grievance. Take copious notes, have someone in with you.

[madeindevon2]

all good advice.
in response to varanasi i DO think my request is workable however i do not think my boss will budge. (i know a few years ago a woman on a desk in another part of the business was allowed to return 4 days a week....its do-able if you have the right boss and team behind you) My boss in of the opinion you give your life to the job or you arent worth having (and as such doesnt see his kids as much as he would like i expect...)
i had got my head around working 4 days a week 8 til 5. thinking i could drop my little boy off at 7 and get to work for 8. but getting in for 7 would mean leaving just after 6 (he often not even awake then). I feel its unfair on him. Kids are resilient and im sure he would get used to it but i would feel forever guilty and miserable.