Moody awkward receptionist in workplace

[Amazonian27]

Ok so I work In small place where the receptionist/gateway person is from another department/team (with no manager supervisor on site). I am kind of a lone worker for my department and I am 2 grades senior to her. She has a history of moodiness/awkwardness blowing hot and cold etc. I tolerated her and her occasional moods for a few years and things were ok in the workplace most of the time most days. Anyway about a year ago she became arsey and awkward with me just about every day I was in (I work part time she is full time). I let her away with this hoping she would eventually be reasonable with me again eventually. I can go in try and be pleasant friendly when I pass the reception then get on with my work and can largely ignore her most of the day but it doesn’t make it a very pleasant environment to work. Anyway her attitude and awkwardness with me has got worse and more recently she has sent a couple of emails to her supervisor who is the same grade as me, my manager and her supervisors manager to try and get me into trouble. She basically thinks she is more important than she is and has been allowed to get away with being like this for years and it’s got worse since she has been at this site. I don’t want to say what the emails were about as I don’t want to out myself. She is more than capable in her work role but not the ideal personality characteristics for a re working role. She is however mostly ok with our customers but she is really awkward to me and also to some of her colleagues of the same grade on another site.
Anyway a meeting was called last week mainly to try and smooth things over since her emails and my having a couple of conversations with my boss about her awkwardness and worsening attitude in response to her emails.
She behaved badly, awkwardly, angrily and defensively at the meeting lied and turned on the tears. She also accused us of ganging up on her as she was the lowest grade.
Afterwards I was commended for my calmness, attitude and reasonableness and have been told by my line manager that I have her full support and the support of the other persons supervisor if I want to take things further and go to HR. But I have heard on the grapevine that both her supervisor and her supervisors manager and a few of her colleagues have had enough of her. So I don’t want the stress of this or to just be used to get rid of her. Anyway after the meeting we were both asked if we could move on and go forward with an improved working relationship as they didn’t want our customers picking up on an awkwardness unprofessional relationship between us. I said I was more than prepared to do this and on two occasions apologised that she was upset that day said I didn’t want to upset her but things couldn’t continue as they were and her attitude had caused me stress for over a year and I wanted to have a professional working relationship etc. She looked angry and ready the rest of the morning and was quiet and scowly in the afternoon. I said goodnight x when I left and she scowled and ignored me. I am dreading going into work this week. She is her own worst enemy but if she doesn’t calm herself down she will be moved to the bigger site where her superviser is based on a regular or more permanent basis and where most of her colleagues are that she also doesn’t like (which will be great for me) but much less good for her. As she had said to her line manager on another occasion that working from the other site would affect her mental health.
Any advice going into work this week as I am really not looking forward to it as last week was stressful enough and I have enough stress in my job role.

[EdisonLightBulb]

Also mammasophie, sis yonread the bit where she has been really awful about many other colleagues that are nice, and her management are already aware she is a problem in the workplace?

[OliviaStabler]

@90mammasophie

Do you think you might be projecting a bit?

She is unprofessional and rude. We all go through varying degrees of crap but most of us choose not to take it out on our work colleagues.

If OP did somehow offend her, then she should raise it in a professional way.

[90mammasophie]

But why does it matter. She's still a colleague. She should still be valued. To keep mentioning she is paid less is demeaning.

[3luckystars]

But she is a lower grade and that is a fact.

[90mammasophie]

Kind of surprised you're received so many supportive comments with this. Have read through out of curiosity & think it sounds as though you may have done something to offend her / something wrong since you say she was previously good at her job. It's also really odd that you'd repeatedly mention her being on a lesser pay grade (it's not very nice). Why does that make her less important. She still works there and you are not her manager. She's clearly having a tough time at work too, since she's mentioned her wellbeing and had been in tears. Maybe it's your issue and you are not in 'the right'. Don't know if you'd considered that but I'd be surprised if it's a black & white situation.

[Amazonian27]

Yes I no all the others and they are the difference in the place when she isn’t in is unbelievable.

[OliviaStabler]

Sounds good OP. Hope her replacement is much more professional.

[Amazonian27]

Update: She has been quietly helpful and accomodating (as a gateway/reception person should be) with being OTT which is all good. However, I heard her management team have decided to move her to another site for a few months which she isn’t happy about at all but it’s all her own doing. It will be lovely for me as non of her replacements are arsey or problematic.

[Amazonian27]

Yes I would say this one has tried to plead the victim but has maybe been told either shape up or ship out (which should have happened long before now). Hopefully this will register as at 54 with a miserable sour face and a can’t do attitude their will be very few openings for her in the job market.

[OliviaStabler]

It makes my mind boggle how people such as this can get and keep their jobs when so many people are struggling to get jobs.

The ones I know of were down to weak management. The managers didn't want to sit down and have that difficult conversation and / or were not prepared to formally performance management someone.

[crimsonlake]

It makes my mind boggle how people such as this can get and keep their jobs when so many people are struggling to get jobs. I attended an interview last week and was shocked at how unfriendly and uncommunicative the receptionist was. There was no reaction whatsoever when I stood before her and I mistakenly thought it was because she was sat behind a glass screen at reception. I actually put my hand up to feel the glass as I thought she could not hear me to find there was not any, she just sat there blankly. As the first person you greet at a business it was a very bad impression.

[Amazonian27]

Thanks Olivia

[Amazonian27]

She could be on Mumsnet stressedoutpa lol 😂. I don’t care I just want to minimise my stress in the workplace and not have any grief (especially not from someone several grades lower than me who has gotten a little too big for their boots) for no reason and for them to make my job harder and making it harder for our clients and customers to access/interact with our services. That is not on.

[OliviaStabler]

That is good news!

[stressedoutpa]

Perhaps she's on Mumsnet?!

[Amazonian27]

Sorry for delay. Well I went in said a beeezy morning got my key and was greeted with a scrowl and a very begrudged morning in return. I went off into my office thinking nothing has changed but thinking sod you. Anyway late morning I had a particularly difficult client booked in so I asked her for help and she was reasonable about it. The following day a client called in on spec and she knocked on my door and politely told me x wanted to see me if I could/had time without being sarcastic etc. No small talk or any banter whatsoever the rest of the week but not unreasonable either so she has bucked her ideas up or seems to be making more an effort in the short term which is all good so long may it last. Thanks all

[TheMagician]

she sounds a stroppy wagon. I used to just rise above this behavior and hope I was imagining it was directed at me. I had a dreadful time with a woman like this recently but thank God she got a better job and left yay.
Next time, if there is a next time, I will make the hidden obvious. I googled what to do and there's no perfect solution but this is better than ignoring them.
With one neutral witness say (for example) hey stroppy, I feel like you're professional, friendly and courteous to every body except me. Can I be right? I feel like you take out your bad humour on me/ Am I right? Is this what's happening?''

They have two choices. Admit it. SO UNLIKELY

or... deny it.

So they deny it ''omg no way, you're so paranoid, I'm not fake that's all'' and the second part of this strategy to put them on notice is to say ''good!'' give them the benefit of the doubt! Say ''good'' with a happy phew face and then move on. Give them all the benefit of the doubt (or appear to) and then move on.

It may not seem like a spectacularly catalytic conversation but apparently it puts them on notice that treating you like dirt may not be as predictable after all.

[dmell13]

How did today go OP?

[Amazonian27]

Thanks she does the library job as well which she sees as more important. She used to be a good reception gateway person on a good day and was kind hearted, caring and would flag particular clients up to me etc. But yes like her line management rather than incur her wrath and to avoid a confrontational situation with her I have been guilty of allowing her to get away with bad behaviour and in the hope of it improving without confrontation and in doing so I have facilitated it and instead of getting better it’s got even worse. Her line management need to step up to the plate and get rid of her or move her to a solitary administrative back room role so she can’t get annoyed with anyone or annoy or bully anyone else.

[Ohyesiam]

I don’t honk you are accommodating her bad behaviour to much, you are bordering on facilitating it.
Surely she needs to do her job properly or face the consequences? If she’s not acting as a good receptionist then she does need to be moved on.
As you say your job is stressful enough.

[AmericanHousewifefan]

What an awful atmosphere to be working in Amazonian but I completely understand that you would not want the stress with being involved in having her transferred.

I would second (third) advice given on the survey. That will highlight problems nicely.

If an appointment is missed because she didn't tell you someone was waiting though it's not going to help the poor person sitting in reception feeling forgotten about. I would ask her to email you when clients arrive and if you don't confirm back by email within 5 minutes (in case you are speaking to someone) to then knock on your door.

It doesn't sound like you have many appointments so it shouldn't be a big deal. You will have proof if she is not following the procedure.

[minniebow]

I visited a big company yesterday and the receptionist was awful. Shooting dirty looks at us and smirks at her colleagues whilst she was booking our team in. It made a bad first impression for the company and I believe that receptionists attitudes can ruin people’s experience of a business. After all, they’re the first people you meet! It really put me off the company and made me rethink working with them. Hope all goes well with the meeting OP!

[Amazonian27]

Thanks for your support all I have never done anything like this before in my life but I will be taking detailed notes of everything she does and doesn’t do from this week onwards and I will be feeding back a fortnight after the meeting.

[Oblomov18]

You must make detailed notes, of the client that came, was early, she never advised you, then they left.

And any other incidents. These must be reported to her manager of Your manager. Soon.

[Amazonian27]

Yes had water works last week this week she will no doubt be reviving up spite and bad mouthing me to a couple of others in her team who haven’t experienced her wrath yet. I/we have to report back to our managers if any issues occur or if things don’t improve after the meeting. But I think HR is where this will end. Her management have issues with her awkwardness for a long time but I don’t want to have all the stress involved leading to getting rid of her and the responsibility of it being purely down to me as really her management should have nipped this in the bud before now. My role is more pastoral it’s more inconvenience and unnecessary stress rather than her loosing me/us money but it’s not good for our young clients and customers who shouldn’t be caught in the crossfire. She can be good at her job just not in away to make life easier in any way.