Is being self-employed a double-edge sword?

[stickygotstuck]

I am sick and tired of being self-employed - I think! And I was just wondering if anybody else is seriously thinking of leaving your self-employed work and swap it for a 'normal' job. Has anyone gone from self-employed to employed and not regretted it? Surely I can't be the only one who finds the flexibility rather a double-edge sword!

For some background, the last 5 years have been tough. Sure, I have been 'functioning' but it's been a long list of loss, including bereavement, DH being made redundant twice and being in a shit job which pays 1/3 less, falling rates in my sector and undiagnosed PND. I am prone to depression anyway and I don't handle the constant worry very well at all.

The bottom line is I do a lot of juggling and have little energy left, I'm sick with worry that work will dry out, I'm in tears most days and have been struggling for years now. DD is now 5 but I still struggle with the pressure of the stupid hours and feast or famine nature of self-employed work. Plus DD, plus housework, plus finding some brain space to handle the black dog .

I am wondering whether being employed would make life easier. The difficult part is that I probably earn what I would earn in employment after taking childcare into account, as now I can take DD to school and pick her up. I'm even managing to work while she's on holiday (see?!)

[madamemuddle]

Good suggestion for previous poster. If you can get those things sorted you might feel a bit better about things.

Let us know how you get on.

[twentyten]

Good luck sticky! Good priorities- sorting these will help.

[stickygotstuck]

Thanks all.

Yes, I think I have now identified two action points: GP and IFA - that sounds like too much outsourcing for my control-freakish nature!

Wish me luck!

[Pinkfrocks]

You need to make a list of what is worrying you- then put them into order of priority.

If you have health issues they should be top of the list.

Then you should try to be honest about what is bugging you- seems to be lots of different things and maybe the 's/e or employee' tag is a red herring for deeper issues?

You seem reluctant to say what your work is- can't you give us a clue :)

I went s/e because I realised I could earn more that way for the same time I was giving an employer. The downside was I had to find my clients, work from home and not have paid hols and a pension.

(Re pensions both my adult DCs are investing regularly in the stock market- unit trusts etc via one of the big companies and 1 DC who's an economist says this will provide a decent lump sum in 40 years compared to other pension investments, even via an employer.)

Maybe you could say once more what are the main issues going round your head about your position now- is it work-life balance, insecurity of income, or what?

[atticusclaw]

It is difficult. If you're doing very well and earning more than you would be as an employee then its great (although the admin and the tax are a faff). If you're struggling to make ends meet then its very stressful and you really feel the pressure to keep the money coming in.

I'm lucky, for me its given me more money and greater flexibility which is invaluable whilst the DCs are young but when work starts to go quiet I still have that panicky feeling about whether it will all suddenly dry up and leave us in a difficult position.

[madamemuddle]

The thing is, I think that both scenarios present their own problems...

With self employment, you need to be entreprenuerial, looking for the next opportunity, continually marketing yourself, motivating yourself and not worrying where the next job will come from.

With being employed, you are not in control of workload, deadlines, your time. You have to stick to their schedule and there is the office politics, difficult old bag who sits in the corner, etc, etc.

Being employed part time could alleviate the problem but I think that you'd possibly put too much energy into that and not use the rest of your time wisely. In which case you're probably better off doing one or the other full time.

I've done exactly what you are doing and I've been applying for full time permanent jobs. However, I do wonder if I have now stepped too far away from the being employed route. I currently have a lot of freedom and I'm not relishing being tied into someone else's schedule five days a week. I went for a second interview today and they were telling me how busy and stressful it was. It was one of the reasons I went self employed in the first place! If I don't get this job I will go back to the drawing board and up my game on the self employment front.

If you are earning pretty much what you would employed then you're doing pretty well. Perhaps you just need a bit of help in terms of believing in yourself/not worrying about where the next job will come from. Hypnotherapy, NLP and EFT would all help with this. I had hypnotherapy for a few things a while back (poverty consciousness being one of them) and it was brilliant.

[stickygotstuck]

Erm... *IFA obviously, sorry!

[stickygotstuck]

Your IRA sounds good! Unfortunately no, I'm not. I'm in the North of England - where jobs are not plentiful these days by the way.

[museumum]

You're not in the central belt of Scotland are you?

My IFA is a woman and markets as understanding financial planning for women (maternity leaves, p/t working, longer life expectancy etc.)

[stickygotstuck]

Thanks museumum, an IFA is something I have been thinking about for a while. I just can't bring myself to trusting them, but I'll try and find a local recommedation.

[museumum]

Wait. Don't panic about your pension yet. Annuities are crap at the moment so a decent fund looks like it will buy a much smaller pension BUT my IFA assures me that it's not a problem as the rules have changed and now you don't need to buy an old fashioned annuity but can invest in different ways. Go see a good IFA. It really helps when you're self-employed. Mine found us our life insurances too.
Anyway, yes freelancing. I like it. I don't work evenings and weekends often. I have an ongoing client that covers my very basic bills which takes some if the stress away. When I first started out I had a p/t job that gave me the same stability.
I think that being self-employed means you have to be super-strict with yourself about work-life balance and stress management and time management etc. however the world if employment has changed a lot in the last twelve years and you might find that most jobs make you feel like you should be checking email or on the blackberry at all hours. It might not be as you remember it.

[stickygotstuck]

Agree atticus, pensions are a major worry factor for the SE that employed people don't think about. I started a private pension in my late twenties. I thought that was a good thing, until a few years later the bank gave me an illustration and said 'So sorry, we got it massively wrong, instead of your 17K a year you are actually getting 2K'. At that point I thought I'd (a) strangle the bank manager, and (b) just stop paying in, but I kept it ticking over (I don't pay a lot into it) as another basket to put my eggs in. But other than that I have nothing else.

Bramshott, glad that you found a way. I have been more in touch with the outside world for the last couple of years too, but it often feels like something else to juggle.

twentyten, I had a coach for a few months, but we put that to the side after a while. I couldn't really focus very well and I thought I was being unfair taking her time. You are absolutely right - health issues must come first.

I have that book, bought it when I first set up as SE years and years ago! I didn't get a lot out of it at the time. Time to revisit it again maybe.

Thanks all for your input

[twentyten]

Hi sticky. Do you have a friend/ mentor? Lots of coaches look for people to coach for free whilst training- but it sounds like you do have to address the health issues before you can think about pensions etc. several s/e friends plan to work to 70 and are setting up to do so. You sound exhausted and overwhelmed. What do you do for you? I love Steven covey's seven habits - sharpen the saw!

[Bramshott]

I think the simple answer to your OP is that yes, of course being SE is a double edged sword in many ways - there are upsides and downsides.

I had a similar re-appraisal a couple of years ago, and decided to change the focus of the SE work I do slightly, so that I have colleagues even if we're not in the same building every day.

I still occasionally have pipe dreams about having a job that is not in my house and impinging on my every move, and that I can shut the door on and come home from at 5pm every day, but then I see DH having to ask for time off, and still getting calls at home / doing emails in the evening, and I think that it's just a case of the grass always being greener!

[atticusclaw]

None really as yet. I have a pension from my previous employment but it wouldn't support us. Its something I need to focus on but for me the worst thing about being self employed is the admin and tax and so I've not really managed to get around to sorting anything out yet.

I think its one of the things employed people forget about. Lots of my friends are medics and they go on about the fact that the pay isn't great but forget about the fantastic benefits and amazing pension (and before anyone jumps on and starts moaning about the public sector pensions, they are amazing and you just don't appreciate what you have).

[stickygotstuck]

atticus, I'm not sure I can take the foot off the pedal. When I do, I'm never sure what to do with myself (among the millions of things I should be doing when not at work!). I waste a lot of time and I stress beyond belief (something is not as it should upstairs, I tell you!)

Cardriver, sounds like self-employment is definitely right for you.

Can I ask those of you who are self-employed, what sort of retirement provision do you have?

I have a crappy private pension and I have been planning to invest in one property, but with our current joint income it's not happening any time soon. I worry about that too.

[Cardriver]

I've do both employed and self employed and I don't think one is particularly any easier/better that the other. I find that I can do the self employed work in a way that suits my family whereas I can't with the employed work so I've cut down on that. I'm a single parent with 3 DC and no support so trying to manage the DC health issues as well as everything else is too difficult when I have to be in specific places at specific times. The only restriction with my self employed work is a 5 working day deadline for each piece of work so I can do it any time/any where within that week. So I can still do school runs, hospital appointments, school stuff (DC at 3 different places), without any panic about getting to work. My health issues make employed work difficult too so self employed is really the only way. Though I still often think the grass is greener in the employed field but it's not really, not for me anyway.

[LadySybilLikesCake]

I dunno. I'm slacking off this week to recharge my batteries, but I've booked it off as a holiday (I have 116 hours to use up by October ). I just don't like the uncertainty of being self employed.

[atticusclaw]

I second those saying think long and hard about it. I'm self employed and whilst it has its pressures at least you are your own boss and you're not answering to anyone else. If you decide to slack off for a week you're not going to get dragged into a capability meeting, if you have time off sick you're not going to be worrying about your sickness record.

I found I was never switching off and so literally just took my foot off the pedal and bit and slowed down. Less work, less income but enabled me to get the work life balance thing back on track.

[LadySybilLikesCake]

No problem. Please do yell if you have any questions

[stickygotstuck]

Thanks for the advice, LadySybil!

[LadySybilLikesCake]

That would work, you have to make sure your P/T job is your 'main job' as far as the Inland Revenue go or you'll end up paying 20% tax until you can claim it all back. You still have to file a tax return and you'll combine both incomes but you'll only pay tax on the self employed work after you've made deductions for equipment/gas/electricity/phone calls and whatnot. Tax credits wise, you give them figures for both types of work and they add them together, minus expenses for your self employed work. I'm going to see an accountant for all of this. The tax return when I was self employed wasn't complicated as I didn't earn enough to pay tax. It's going to be a headache filling it in as I've already paid tax on my PAYE, then there's the deductions etc. The accountant is a deductible expense IIRC.

Good luck, whatever you decide

[stickygotstuck]

LadySybil, you are my perfect study subject then! You are very well placed to compare. That's my feeling - there is a lot of stuff that gets taken care of by someone else when you are employed, and I see that as a great big fat positive.

In fact, my original plan was to do that - carry on the self-employment on a smaller scale and take a P/T job. That may be good to test the waters but I feel it would take the juggling to a whole new level.

madame, your last sentence made me realise I already have to put up with all that, except for the commuting bit. Maybe I suck at being self-employed, maybe it's the current market

twentyten, thanks for the flowers! Going to the docs will be fraught with a whole lot of other difficulties, but I guess I must.

[LadySybilLikesCake]

I'm employed and self employed, both jobs are in IT. When I'm not working for one, I work for the other. My employed job is a lot better to be honest. Sick pay, holiday pay, pension, training (I didn't really have any for the self employed client, nor any real guidance). It's a juggle and I can drop the self employed work when I feel like it, but I dislike being self employed as you never know when they are going to turn around and drop you at a moment's notice. Tax return is a killer though

[twentyten]

Hi sticky- sounds like you're making some decisions. Get to the doc- invest in your business asset- you. Take some thinking time in a good coffee shop. Good luck. And congratulate yourself on what you have achieved.