Compulsory overtime and childcare problem

[lizzywig]

DH has to attend some mandatory training for work. It is detailed in his staff handbook (but not his contract, although the staff handbook forms his t&cs) and it's important he attends, he is happy to do the training. The training is held every three years. When the training was run last time it was during working hours. All staff work Monday to Friday and no one works on weekends. His contract says "Your hours of work are 40 hours per week". There is an overtime clause which says "You may be required to work overtime if and when this is necessary in accordance with the needs of the business".

The training has been arranged for a Saturday. DH found out about the training the last day before we went on holiday and now that we are back from holiday we are trying to sort out what to do.

The training is on a Saturday when I have plans. I am going to one of my oldest friends babyshowers and I am going to be godmother. I'm not a fan of the whole babyshower thing but my friend is and I don't want to let her down. This date has been on the calendar for a long time and I know my friend would be disappointed if I wasn't there. I would be disappointed if I wasn't there; even though they're not my sort of thing, she is after all a very close and special friend.

We have a 2.8yo DD who obviously cannot be left at home alone. DH went into work, explained the situation to the Deputy Manager as the Manager was not around and she said she would look into alternative dates and it was fine. When DH followed up with the Manager after not hearing anything, she apparently flipped out and said that he had to go.

I have thought about taking DD with me but she does not sit down and although she is a very well mannered, she is also into everything, wants to explore everything and has very little patience (not a clue where she gets that from!). Whenever we take her out we go armed with everything plus the kitchen sink but her attention span is short we usually have to leave places early. The upshot is that if I were to take her I really think that it would disrupt what is planned and DD would become so overinvolved in everything, that it would not be 'fair' on my friend. The day should be about her, not a hyperactive toddler running around. At this stage I haven't asked if I can take her. We have tried but failed to get a babysitter and tbh I also feel that it wouldn't be right to palm her off on a babysitter for half a day at the weekend, she is our responsibility. She is in nursery full time and I don't think it's right that neither of us are around for her, especially when in my case it's by choice.

I phoned ACAS to get a better understanding about where my husband stands with this. After all if he were a single parent, what would he do? I do rather feel that it's unfair that this should fall to me when my plans had been arranged for a long time. Equally I will cancel if that's what I have to do. I love my DD and am happy to stay at home but I know my friend will be upset.

ACAS said that the only 'rights' that my husband had were 'time off for dependents' and 'parental leave'. I knew this much already! I honestly thought that there would be some employment act which meant that parents could look after their children if no one else was available. ACAS said that time off for dependents could only be in the case of emergencies - does the lack of childcare qualify as an emergency? They also said that through custom and practice he works Mon-Fri and parental leave would therefore not apply as he is not contracted to work on a Saturday - besides which he would have to give 21 days notice and it's in two weeks time.

I'm sure I read on MN somewhere that if you had no childcare that under the equality act (or perhaps it was something else) that you should be allowed to look after your child if you do not have childcare. When he spoke to his manager she basically said "check your contract, you have to do it". He said we didn't have childcare and she said "tough". ACAS said that as training isn't in his contract he shouldn't have to do it - but it is in the staff handbook - they didn't comment on this. They also said that the overtime in his contract should be (again because of custom and practice) be within his usual working days, i.e. "we need you to stay an extra hour or two or three", as opposed to 3 or 4 hours on a Saturday.

His manager did say that there are alternative training sessions but from what DH has said it was said as more of a threat....the sessions she mentioned are over four hours (one way) away from us. So I suspect that if he doesn't do this local one that she will punish him by making sure that the alternative one is miles away. This would then take up over a full day and you can be certain that he wouldn't be paid overtime for the journey. Then there are the costs of getting him there...

After all this is the woman who told all her staff that they had to come in for a full weekend (outside of their contract) and wouldn't be paid for it and wouldn't get overtime. She basically knows not a jot about personnel, managing staff or care and understanding....there's a very high staff turnover but that's another matter entirely!

Sorry for the essay, I didn't want to drip feed and feel quite fed up about the whole thing. I didn't really feel confident from what ACAS had said and was hoping for a bit of advice from you wise ladies.

[PiratePanda]

"for your DFriend for you NOT to go".....sigh