Help - any tips on settling an 8 month old with childminder?

[melsam]

I would be really grateful if anyone has any tips on settling an 8 month old with a childminder. My ds is normaly a really happy chap, who only cries if he's in pain, tired, humgry - all the usual. However, I currently have to leave him with a childminder who 4/5 days per week. I prepared the ground by leaving him for 1/2 days for 2 weeks & all seemed to go well - he settled great. Since I have left him for full days he has become quite distressed, he cries on & off all day & sometimes refuses to eat. He does have good days but today I collected him early as he had been crying for 1 1/2 hours.

We have tried all sorts of things - leaving familiar toys, more walks & different approaches when dropping him off. I am trying to work shorter days & taking more time off. Has anyone any new ideas??

I am getting increasingly upset, I hate the thought of him crying, I feel terribly guilty. Has anyone else had this problem?? Thanks.

[melsam]

Hi all, firstly a huge thanks for the responses. I have given EmmaM & Allibubbles advice a lot of thought & you have helped to make my mind up to take action - I began looking for child care when I was 4 months pregnant & visited about a dozen nurseries & interviewed about 7 childminders. The childminder I chose is a lovely person but I'm not sure ds thinks the same. I am now in the process of searching again for a new place for him. Thanks Marina for your response - it's not just me that gets it wrong! In the meantime we are going to ensure that ds is left for shorter days and shorter weeks.
As for the response from undiscovered - well I expected at least one response like that. I echo the thoughts of many who also don't have much choice/think it's good for our cherubs to mix with others & I also think that I am still a woman in my own right as well as being a mum. I am making the assumption that you too are female - why is it that the most harsh critics of women are women themselves. I don't want to go on about the subject but suffice to say I love my ds to distraction and along with my partner am going through hell with this problem. Please think before making such harsh comments.

[Stompy]

When I read Undiscovered's first post I thought uh-oh here we go again. I've taken a deep breath and calmed down. All I will say is that I work full time, but no way do I have pots of cash. I can't afford one holiday let alone three. Wish I could though lol!

[Tillysmummy]

Rhubarb,we'll miss your chat. Have a good afternoon xx

[Rhubarb]

LOL! My dd does that to my dh when he comes home - I feel a bit taken for granted at times! Still, she is lovely and I suppose I must go and get her up! We're making play-dough this afternoon!

[Tillysmummy]

Rhubarb, Im actually at work today and getting paid for chatting to all of you I feel very naughty - my dd is at home with my mummy probably running her a right song and dance ! Looking forward to seeing her - always race home to big smiles and flappy arms. She looks like a bird flying when she does this !

[Rhubarb]

Sorry undiscovered, we've moved on a bit now. No point in holding grudges children!

[Rhubarb]

Me too! DD has been doing my head in today. When dh comes back from work he can take over! She's in bed at the minute, and I dread having to get her up in 2 mins, she's got her 'annoying' head on!

[undiscovered]

Well she shouldn't have called me a bitch then!

[Tillysmummy]

Silly me Have to say I have got absolutely NO work done today !!! So glad it's Friday ...

[Rhubarb]

Hi Tillysmummy - that tip wasn't for you! I don't think you've posted anything preachy have you? But the welcome is certainly for you too!

[Rhubarb]

Undiscovered - just read your contribution to the Demi Moore thread, do you think that was particularly helpful? If you want to be accepted, please steer clear of making snide remarks to people!

[Tillysmummy]

Thanks for the tip. Don't want to sound preachy or harsh And the welcome.

[Rhubarb]

Maybe you should preview your messages first and make sure they don't sound too harsh or preachy as this can get people's back up. Welcome to the board by the way!

[Tillysmummy]

That is absolutely right. We should all respect each others views and choices even if they aren't the same as our own

[undiscovered]

Thank you Rhubarb. Just because I've got strong opinions I don't see what I should be critised for it.
We can only form opinions from our past experiences and everyones experiences are different.

[Rhubarb]

C'mon now, people are entitled to their opinions. Undiscovered is not being nasty to anyone, just stating her views. You may not agree with them, but name-calling is not on and is what lead to all that trouble last time. Just chill out!

[undiscovered]

Rozzy, Sorry if I'm not untitled to my own opinions. What exactly have I said that has got your back up???

[undiscovered]

Rozzy, if you have to resort to name calling then maybe that is because I have got a point????

[undiscovered]

Tillysmummy, I too work part time 3 days a week. I agree it is good for children to have their independance even at an early age. What I am saying is that it is important, if pos, to spend more time in the week looking after your children, when they are small, than anyone else. I have my D and M 4 days a week and they go to nursery 3 days.

[Enid]

I don't work (well, very occasionally, freelance) and I STILL send my dd to a childminder!! So go on, beat me with that big stick undiscovered!

[undiscovered]

Rhubarb, I'm sorry, I appologise. It's just that I've got friends that have got small children, work full time, earn loads of money and therefore go on holiday 3 times a year and have fancy clothes, houses and cars. I think they should comprimise, work part time and just have one car and one holiday a year and spend more time with their babies.

[Tillysmummy]

Sorry Wickedwaterwitch, couldn't resist