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Original poster

how soon did you go back to work after baby?

77 replies

moomin35 · 09/06/2014 09:01

Just wondered when people returned to work after having a baby?

OP posts:
IdespairIreallydo · 09/06/2014 19:51

5 weeks off for DS, was induced at 38 weeks but was severely cross with consultant as I hadn't done Xmas shopping. 2 weeks off for DD, I was 41 but needed to get back to work as s/e and no one else could run my office. Still waiting for maternity leave, kids now 11 & 10 GrinNot after medals but just as someone said upthread, life.

mrsruffallo · 09/06/2014 20:15

7 years after first one.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 09/06/2014 20:22

Oh gosh, was I supposed to go back?

I went on maternity leave 20 years ago Grin

MatildaV · 09/06/2014 20:31

15 months with my twins - 12 months maternity plus 3 month's leave. I'd originally planned to go back after 9 months (would've been about 11 including annual leave), but just wasn't ready and the babies weren't sleeping. I felt just about ready by the time I did go back.

I think it depends a lot on what type of job you do. Mine's very stressful and severely under-staffed and I've lost count of the amount of times I've wanted to thump someone who came out with the "it must feel like a rest going to work" cliche. If your job's less stressful, it's something you enjoy and you're happy with the childcare available, then I imagine it's more tempting to go back earlier.

StampyIsMyBoyfriend · 09/06/2014 22:31

Around 3 months, but I was self employed & could pick & choose. I did a few one off jobs. But properly back to work, I waited the full year.

Now have a 5yr old, am not self employed, and fucking hate working. Lots of guilt, not much in return. My advice..... stay off for as long as possible.

HaroldLloyd · 09/06/2014 22:36

I didn't really have any but I am self employed and work from home, I had to cut back on a lot of work though due to nursery costs.

Goodwordguide · 09/06/2014 22:36

20 weeks off with first but we lived abroad in a country where 16 weeks was the norm - however, childcare was cheap and plentiful so I had a FT nanny, which helped enormously, plus I did compressed hours, working 2pm-8pm, which also helped. I didn't find it that difficult despite expressing continually and DD not sleeping through til she was 15 months or so but, like I said, a FT nanny is a big help. It was harder when I had three DCs and worked freelance, even though I WFH and could pick and choose my hours more.

It depends so much on how much you like our job, the hours, the commute, the flexibility of your childcare etc.

littlegreengloworm · 09/06/2014 22:39

Just under six months. Needed to get back to earning a full salary. Was also a bit lonely for adult comany.

wigglylines · 10/06/2014 00:08

14 months the first time, 13 the second.
I would have taken more if I could.

OP I would avoid 4.5 months if you possibly can. Do you have any other options? e.g. have you got a mortgage? Have you investigated the possibility of a mortgage holiday for maternity?

AggressiveBunting · 10/06/2014 06:33

Part time (3 days) at 3 months. Increased to 4 days by 9 months. Like goodword the situation was considerably smoothed by the fact that I kept my nanny on when on mat leave as I knew I'd only get 13 weeks, so we had 13 weeks to transition from 1 to 2 DC and my baby was already familiar with her. I also found I was less tired on my work days than my non-work days. The expressing was such a PITA though

Chipandspuds · 10/06/2014 06:54

I went back to work 3 days a week when DS was 14 months old (used 12 months mat leave + 2 months annual leave) which felt right.

I'm not sure what to do with DC2 (pregnant at the moment) but I suspect I will take 12 months mat leave again. I think I'd be open to the idea of going back to work a bit earlier though if I'm struggling!

beatingwings · 10/06/2014 07:01

I was not prepared for the protective feelings I had for my baby once he was born.
Hit me like a landslide.

I did intend to go back to work at 6 weeks, but that was 17 years ago. (Although I have been self employed for the past 14 years working from home)

BitchPeas · 10/06/2014 07:02

12 weeks with DS. Had I go back ft due to finacial reasons, DS is a very happy, confident and laid back child, and I think this is partly due to the fact he was left so young so never learnt to be clingy......but......

I would never ever ever do it again. It was horrible, I had PND, was exhausted, felt disconnected from him until he was about 4. If/when I have more I will take the full 14.5 months my current company offers.

BitchPeas · 10/06/2014 07:03

Then go back part time, if I can't afford to work part time I won't have anymore children.

Ive found it that awful Blush

shinny · 10/06/2014 07:12

10 weeks at half day, FT at 20 weeks with first DD
6 months with 2DD

Found it very hard to get back into work after 6 months off....I felt a bit like a spare part at first. Very miserable doing FT so dropped to 4 days a week after a few months.

Its a very personal decision

melissa83 · 10/06/2014 07:13

2 weeks with 1st, 7 months with 2nd, 2 weeks with 3rd

StillWishihadabs · 10/06/2014 08:16

A full year with my first. (10 years ago!!). I interviewed for a pt position at 6 months but didn't get it, I ended up taking the second six months unpaid,I then needed to take a ft job at 12 months (ds was 11m) to pay back the credit card. Got a pt post when he was 17m old which I returned to at 6m after dc2. Pity I then was made redundant 3 months later and ended up working ft again.:(

rallytog1 · 10/06/2014 08:29

9 months. It was definitely the right time for both me and dd. However, I have friends who went back at 4 months and others who had more than a year off, and they're all happy with their choices (or lack of, in some cases, but they're happy with how things worked out). You just have to do what's right for your family. I don't think there's one 'ideal' length of maternity leave for everyone.

eurochick · 10/06/2014 08:36

Santa, shared parental leave does apply. We will be using it. Unfortunately you cannot swop in the first 20 weeks now, although that will be changing in future.

Needadvice5 · 10/06/2014 08:43

I was back when my babies were 16 weeks old, working12 hour sshifts, my dp would sometimes have to bring them in for a feed if they were messing with theexpressed.

Was awful, byt I'm going back 13 years ago and I gather that you get longer now!

RockinHippy · 10/06/2014 08:50

I really do think it depends on what you do, how far you commute & how well you are after the birth.

I was put under pressure to go back after only 10days - that was 3 days after I got out of hospital as they kept me inHmm

I eventually went back at 11 weeks, though had done some work from home from week 2

Started off as a 4 day week, but was too quickly back up to full time & made very hard for me to get away on time. This was a very full on high pressure job, though not particularly physical.

Biggest mistake of my life - I was so ill by 9 months that I had to give up work (also walked out due sex discrimination, abusive boss & constructive dismissal & took it to a tribunal which I accepted an out if court settlement on as the stress of that was affecting me badly too)

I thought I had just burnt myself out, take a few months to recoup & start again - without even looking, I had a lot of great offers of work to go back to - I never recovered & 11 years later I'm still living with the fall out of not looking after myself properly

So think VERY carefully

Only1scoop · 10/06/2014 08:55

I took a year off and then returned part time.

Preciousbane · 10/06/2014 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockinHippy · 10/06/2014 08:57

I should have added - I was working 60 miles away from home, so a long commute - I was also still breast feeding, with no decent facilities at all - mouldy old toilet - or run the gauntlet of they guys to use the upstairs loo, not great as due to breast feeding I looked like some sort of pneumatic Barbie doll - so even expressing as I needed to, was very stressful -

plus I could sense every time DD was upset & ran DH to tell him to feed her etc - always just as she started to cry - those maternal instincts don't switch off so easily, no matter how absorbed you are in your work & I did love my work

JaneParker · 10/06/2014 09:04

Yes, good point on being well. I cycled back from the tube station in early labour with baby 2 on the day I stopped work. No complications with any birth. No C sections. even the twins came on exactly the day at 4 weeks! Not everyone is like that. I was more than happy to take a few business calls the day after the twins were born and I was at home. (I work for myself). It was absolutely fine. They were born on a Thursday. We were home that night. I was on my own with them on the Friday juggling a bit of work. Their nanny started on the Monday and on the days I was working at home she just brought them to me to feed (must easier than expressing milk for a 2 - 6 week old when I commuted to the City with the first three - but each the right decision in its time. I would definitely do things exactly the same another time. Going back very early in a few weeks can work very well for some women, babies and their families. As people say above they are very personal decisions.

It is probably fair to say that my income, career and personal satisfaction are a key reason why all the children seem to have done pretty well including the teenagers (who are now the youngest). That balance of work and home seems best for most adults whether male or female.