Would you work full-time if you didn't HAVE to?

[PenelopeChipShop]

I've been at home with my DS since he was born, he turns 2 next month. I've done odd days of freelance work and a bit from home during nap times but basically, I haven't really been apart from him. He's fairly clingy and very attached to me but I guess this is fairly normal for his age anyway.

I always intended and wanted to go back to work as I've worked hard to get to where I was in my career, but I was made redundant when due to return to work. I have just started settling DS into a nursery for 2 mornings a week so I can solidify the bits of freelance stuff I've been doing and have some proper hours in the week to concentrate, which I think I feel fine with.

The dilemma is I had a job interview yesterday for a full-time role and I think it went quite well. I really would prefer to be 3 days or week or POSSIBLY 4, just because I feel that with a commute I really won't see much of DS at all in the week if I'm full-time. DH is full-time and would admit himself that he is basically a 'weekend dad'.

But the job is really tempting, exactly the kind of thing I'd like to go back to and a really good career move - it's at the same level I was before but also a sort of sideways move into an area I've always been interested in but haven't had the chance to work in before. If it wasn't for DS I'd jump at the chance, but I just can't ignore the voice in my head telling me he isn't ready for me to leave him for so long. :-(

What makes the choice harder is that we can survive on just DH's salary, so if I took it it would really be just for my benefit/future career options etc. Obviously the money would be useful! But not essential. I think that heaps on the guilt - if I had to work to pay the mortgage I honestly don't think I'd feel guilty but since I don't, I think I feel that I ought to put DS first.

Any thoughts? Does anyone do the same, i.e. work just because they want to? How do the DC cope especially if very young?

[blueshoes]

FT jobs are more interesting, better paid and you get more respect from your colleagues as a full team member. There is also the risk of ending up doing a ft job in pt hours and being paid for pt hours.

It sounds like a dream job, so go for it. You could try to set the stage for more flexible working down the road by asking whether there is a scope for that later, but for now you want to concentrate on getting your feet under the table and taking it on fulltime. That way, you sound committed but create the (moral) obligation for your employer to consider more flex arrangements later after you have proven yourself to be both competent and reliable of course.

I am working ft but flexibly. I work one day from home but only in the morning. I compress 4 hours I would have worked into the afternoon into the other days. In practice, I check my blackberry when I am at home and if I can respond to emails in the evenings or over the weekends if I can deal with it that way quickly. Flexibility cuts both ways.

[Xcountry]

Nope, and I didn't. Took a massive pay cut and went back into agriculture. The things that were important to me before children just suddenly weren't anymore.

[lotsofcheese]

Personally, no. I believe in working, in principal, for various reasons. But I think part time is a better work-life balance.

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

What is ft to you? 8-6? 9-5? Is a different pattern of hours possible? What hours require coverage? Is it say 8-6 plus blackberry? Ft isn't what it used to be. Very often it's 'unsociable' too. Entirely depends on sector expectations.

I would if I was passionate about it. Heartbeat. Vaguely 'meh' I wouldn't.

[Soveryupset]

Yes and I have. I recently negotiated addituonal unpaid leave as the kids are now all at school and I love taking the time out. Go for it!!

[maggiethemagpie]

This is my dilemma at the moment! I have the option to take a full time role, or do it on a job share with another person so 2.5 days per week. Part of me thinks I should just take the job share but I'm worried about feeling disengaged if I am only doing half the job. I am thinking that whilst the kids are little (DS 3 and DD 10 mths) it will be good to get some spare time with them, as I wont be able to get that time back when they are older.

[Ifyoubuildit]

I have exactly the same dilemma Penelope but I've had a five year career break as a SAHM. I've just been offered an AMAZING job but the hours are long and I'd hardly see my lovely DCs (4 and 2.5) during the week. They won't accept PT though as they need me in the office.

I don't need to work now but may do in the future as DH is older so will probably retire in the next 10-15 years.

I just can't decide what to do. I will miss my DCs soooo much, I cry at the thought, but opportunities like this don't come up very often. Oh the stress of it! I wish someone would take the job away so that the decision is made for me.

[ShineSmile]

I'm in a similar situation too OP. I'm at lost as to what to do, plus I'm having difficulty finding good affordable childcare

Do you think this type of job offer might come again after 2 years when your DD starts school? If yes, I would personally be more inclined to delay. But it really is your own decision to make. Also, I suppose, do you plan to have more children? When? And would you rather be on maternity leave (and get pay) when you do fall pregnant?

[Longtalljosie]

Remove this particular job from your mind and what do you want to do? If it's go back part-time and you don't need to rush back, is it possible that this isn't the job for you? How part-timeable is your job? Could you look about for a job share?

[ExitPursuedByAKoalaBear]

I wouldn't because of the three hour commute.

[Metalgoddess]

I don't work full time and would definitely choose not to with dcs. Time to me is very precious and I intend to never work full time as long as finances/circumstances allow. Working part time doesn't suit everyone though so it really is personal choice.

[SirChenjin]

I'm working f/t at the moment to cover some additional work we've picked up in our department - I don't have to work f/t, but it's a really interesting piece of work that will benefit me in the long run, and the money will come in useful for nice extras. I might even keep going with these hours - so far, it's not been at bad as I thought - but my DC are almost 17, 15 and 7 so the older ones help out with housework, childcare pickups etc which makes things so much easier.

[Ifyoubuildit]

What did you decide Penelope??