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Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

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Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Work

I can't be the only mum who is happy working?!

36 replies

workingmumto1 · 19/03/2013 20:17

I am beginning to feel that I am the only mum in the world to be happy spending time with DD (10 months tomorrow) who also loves working. Don't get me wrong, I so miss my DD, but she loves being at nursery (3 days per week) and with my MIL (2 days per week) and we spend lots of quality time together in the morning and evening as well as the weekend.

I get so many surprised or negative comments, please someone tell me I'm not alone in this! I even got a promotion while on Maternity leave, and was dismayed when a lot of other mothers either assumed I needed the money (actually I am the main breadwinner, but that's beside the point!), or couldn't believe that I was accepting it.

OP posts:

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Popps2905 · 01/05/2013 08:53

I must admit i love my job and love my children even more. There's nothing wrong with being a working mum and being happy about it. DH works part time as he loves being with the kids and we always make sure we do loads at the weekend, go on day trips, have friends over, our children don't miss out on anything at all.

stowsettler · 30/04/2013 14:02

I love my job too! DD is 9 weeks old and I've already been back 1-2 days a week for a fortnight. I hasten to add it wasn't planned - however I'm actually starting a new job (well same job different place) in August, so I've agreed to come in 2 days per week til then to get everything straight for my successor.
I'm so glad I've come back though. I love DD with all my heart but with the best will in the world I'm not the maternal type and having a couple of days doing other stuff has made an absolute world of difference to my sanity.

Thurlow · 29/04/2013 12:55

I love being at work. By the end of maternity leave I knew being a SAHM wasn't for me. In an ideal world I'd work 4 days a week, and have less of a commute, but that's an ideal world. DD adores being at her CM's or with DP, and I can be honest and admit I'm a much better mum when I am with her because it's not all day every day.

Badgerina · 29/04/2013 12:32

I don't feel the same way as you OP, but I'm very happy for you It's important that women can make choices about work, family and childcare. You're very lucky to be in such a great position. Good for you

Loislane78 · 16/04/2013 11:26

I'll be going back FT (with some home working) in a couple of months when DD is 10/11 mo. She's pretty easy atm but I'm looking forward to it as much as I'll desperately miss her and do feel a bit guilty as financially I could be sahm. I like being at home but also enjoy my job and know if I were to leave it would really set me back. Sadly can't do PT so some home working will hopefully keep work/life balance.

GL to all the working mummies :)

LadyLech · 08/04/2013 21:42

Workingmum, I think you must be me!

When I had DD1, it had been my intention to give up work and perhaps childmind, but then my DH was made redundant and became a student, so I had no choice but to go back to work. Whilst on Mat leave, I got my dream job teaching at a local college, and worked three days a week. Between DH and my parents, we managed the childcare and I actually really liked it.

I have been there 8 years now. My children are at school, and I work school hours, so whilst my children go to breakfast club three days a week, I am able to pick them up from school. (They have an hour of paid childcare a week). It works perfectly for us and I still love it.

The only thing I did used to feel was that I was 'away' from my DD a bit more than I would have liked when she was little. I think my preference would have been to work just two days if we could have afforded that, but I made sure that I made the most of every weekend with my daughter, and of course I had 4 days a week with her!

kazzym · 08/04/2013 11:06

I do not think it is anyone else's business if you go back to work or not. You have to do what is best for the family. I had a few negative comments which I chose to ignore as the people who made them are not part of my life. My family are the only people that matter in my life and I chose to go back to work for my own reasons and everybody: children, hubby and myself are happy!

Xenia · 01/04/2013 16:42

I love it too but it doesn't seem to sell newspapers to report - full time working mothers with children are happy! It is the best of all worlds which is why men usually try to engineer things so that is how they live. Women should take a leaf out of their book.

Yes, it's hard working with very small children - I certainly remember those years and my youngest are teenagers now and it's dead easy compared to working whilst you are breastfeeding most of the night but it works fine and is the best option for many women.

Not enough women write about what they get out of work. I earn fairly large amounts which is nice. My work itself is intellectually satisfying. I can work to whatever age I choose as I work for myself. It's great and moving to a stage when children are less dependent it is even better whereas countless 50 something housewives find that stage is terrible as their whole life was children, they have no income, no work, few interests and then their husbands go off with a 20 year old and leave them with absolutely nothing. So continuing working full time in something you like can ensure you also have 20 very well paid interesting later career years once children have gone,. It's pretty hard to take up being say a leading surgeon as a 47 year old whose children have left home. Women need to think long term, not just the 5 years children are little.

My children have got so much out of my work too over the years and even now with 3 having graduated the fact I work is very useful to them as a role model etc.

MummytoErica · 01/04/2013 13:56

An hr each way sorry, not each day..

MummytoErica · 01/04/2013 13:56

Reading this has just cheered me up. Thank you!!! I'm returning to work tomorrow after 8 months off. I've been dreading it but I always loved my job before. I'm hoping that I will love it again when I go back and reading this makes me believe that I can and will.

I really love spending time with my DD and really enjoy the groups we go to. I think that the part I am dreading most is the commute. It is an hr each day, but I'm only working 8:30-4 mon-thurs with Friday mornings at home. So by the time I pick her up at 12:15 on a Friday it'll feel like a full day off anyway.

FattyMcChubster · 22/03/2013 09:19

I have always found the opposite if in honest. I'm seen as the 'odd' one for being a SAHM.
I didn't enjoy my job as much as I enjoy beig at home with dc and financially I'm better off at home.
I cant see though why people think one is better than the other? If you go out to work, work at home, stay at home- surely all options means supporting the family? Isn't that what matters?
As long as the parents and children are happy with their choice I don't see why people can't accept that and respect it.

musicalfamily · 22/03/2013 08:52

PS I have also been a SAHM and I don't remember any rude or negative comments from anyone at all, but maybe I have forgotten!

musicalfamily · 22/03/2013 08:50

I am fairly happy working, it is stressful at times, but not so much the guilt (I have none) but more the sheer amount of hard work, especially with a large family and little help.

I have become totally immune to the sneidy comments, but the few times I do appear at the school gate/birthday parties, I am still amazed and fairly amused at the amount of digs working mums get.

"Oh I am so lucky I don't HAVE TO work (assumes I have to)" - "Oh you must find it so hard to cook your children a proper meal" - "Oh it must be hard to keep the house looking nice/tidy etc" - "Oh it must be such a terribly long day for the children" - I've had all those in the last month!!!

I think if you have just had a baby and have returned to work these comments would affect you, for me it is just hilarious that some people need to validate their own choices through dissing others.

ExhaustTed · 19/03/2013 21:59

Well I love my job, I love my colleagues (most the time) and I am glad I have a job....
However I don't feel personally I have the balance just right yet, I work too long hours and don't see the kids as much as I like. That being said, I only returned to work after maternity leave 2 months ago and it's taking a bit of getting used to and I hope to address the balance soon!

workingmumto1 · 19/03/2013 21:15

Thanks everyone! I feel loads better already. I am so glad I'm not the only mum who loves her job! I totally respect SAHP's but definitely wouldn't want to be one myself and I did really miss working when I was on maternity leave!

OP posts:

InNeedOfBrandy · 19/03/2013 20:57

I love my job to! Its not even just the job I need a reason to get up up, put the slap on and wear something nice and get out and talk to people. I would hate and did hate when I was out of work getting up after 9, not getting dressed till lunchtime and watching tv all day. I just wasted my days. Now my weekends get made the most of!

littlepinkpear · 19/03/2013 20:54

I adore my job, it defines me and I contribute back to society in a way that makes me feel happy. I adore my DD and ensure that we spend every moment I am not at work or sleeping having as much fun as possible.

10 long years of training means I am at the top of my career ladder and have a beautiful, happy, healthy child. I spent 10 months of maternity leave being miserable and wishing I was back at work.

Embrace it, don't beat yourself up and find decent childcare. It is possible to be a happy working mum.

PrincessOfChina · 19/03/2013 20:54

I work full time and love my job. Fortunately DD is also a huge fan of nursery!

dashoflime · 19/03/2013 20:49

This is a really encouraging thread. I'm due to go back to work full time in a few weeks and really looking forward to it.
And to spending time with DS at evenings and weekends of course!

breatheslowly · 19/03/2013 20:47

You are not alone. I enjoy going to work and I think DD has benefited from nursery. I can imagine that there are circumstances where I would be unhappy working - for example having a long commute.

Chubfuddler · 19/03/2013 20:45

Dinosaur it's just as well I love my career as I'm now a single parent and would on benefits if I hadn't kept working when I didn't need to.

whiteandyellowiris · 19/03/2013 20:44

one of my friends prefers being at work than at home with her two rather high maintenance boys

and i respect her honesty.

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Chubfuddler · 19/03/2013 20:44

No I don't think it will change AKiss. I don't think having children has changed me. It's changed things about life for me, but I'm still the same.

AKissIsNotAContract · 19/03/2013 20:40

This thread is very uplifting for me. I don't have children yet but will have to return fairly soon after I have a child as I'm the main earner. I love my job and can't imagine that changing but am continually told it will once I have a baby.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 19/03/2013 20:37

I love my job too. Best decision ever to go back to work, should have done it years earlier.

I love my career and I love my children. The two are completely compatible.

excellent quote, I'm going to use that if you don't mind!

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