22 years in NHS over!

[seaofyou]

Ok 17 years because of 5 years career break!

I had to take a break to do behavioural therapy on my severly autistic boy to help him talk, reduce challenging behaviours, learn to do everything basically. He has been in a small school now a year with 1:1 etc and I felt ready to return!

I wanted to return to my same hours 22.5 over 3 days, but have all school holidays off (so pay would equal out 16 hours a week).
I asked to work last 3 days so I could do MSc (self funded Mon-Tues) Behaviour Therapy at Uni to ensure I was able to do the psychologist job correctly with qualification as therapy not supplied by LEA anymore even though ds will always have Autism.

Manager said no to working school term time only (even though I would do full day 7.5hrs a day x 3 days a week same as pre career break). Manager said no to those days Wed-Fri (as wanted Mon-Tues off for uni). That I would have to work other days...he didn't even say the reasons why or what other days I would have to work?

I started at 18 years old, so never ever done anything else workwise and a Sister in Community, I loved my job! I am truely devestated:(
I am a lone parent with no family to help and the cost of SNs childcare is more than I earn! Plus ds holidays are longer so out of school club holiday club times and I know ds would not cope at anyhow.

Any advice please?

[ssd]

glad it turned out for you too wearesix

I cant understand the blinkered approach of some employers, no wonder good staff leave

[seaofyou]

WeAreSix that they never bit your arm off with that request!

One door shuts and a fab one opened for you too well done and congrats on new baby to :)

[WeAreSix]

Interesting reading the thread!

I tried to return to my post as a midwife after maternity leave & being 'looked after' by the chronic pain team with unresolving SPD. (Turns out they'd misdiagnosed me but you get the picture!)

I requested to reduce my hours from 25pw and either have an annualised or term-time contract. I made it very clear that I wanted more hours during the school holidays as DH is a teacher and therefore I had childcare, where during term I didn't. I wanted to work the unsocial hours where most parents needed to be home.

My request was declined. My colleagues were amazed that the one person who wanted to work through August was told no. I handed my resignation in, and thought I'd probably said goodbye to my registration.

It ended well though :) I now have no SPD or mobility problems and I start a new post as a Nurse Clinical Supervisor in August. This employer loves that I want to work evenings, weekends, nights and especially school holidays. They understand that my DD with SEN needs extra care. I even went on to have another baby :)

So, stuff you NHS Trust! You may not want someone working when everyone else wants AL but you're on your own with that one!

[seaofyou]

BadgMy position is not caseload but discharge after post diagnosis support so no need for covering whilst off looking after my disabled DS. I would never have expected that situ to work in as I agree not fair on team.

Thank you Salbertina for your support back then

[Salbertina]

Fab, OP, excellent news. Good luck!

[badguider]

I see your side totally but I do think you being away for the summer holiday will be very hard on any team. Other holidays of 1-2 weeks are just like covering for annual leave but in the summer they'd need to get a temp or agency staff in wouldn't they?
Can you think about other ways to use your same skills either self-employed or in the private sector but providing service to the NHS or joining agency/bank staff? A lot of parents find contracting to work for family life as you get a higher wage when working but can take summer off.
I think you need to put your (understandable) hurt and anger at your current employer aside and start to think laterally.
Good luck.

[seaofyou]

Thanks CP and glad it worked out for you too.

Starting to get nervous as going back to same place.
Feel a bit let down tbh as I realised they were not 'friends' as no one contacted me when I took the break from work and they all knew why. Sad as I supported two friends through a divorce/family probs going over above in support in/out of work. I going back for the clients not the staff:)

A friend in need...you realise who is their for you! But such is life you live and learn and I have had more support here with true offers of help and support than I could ever imagine :)

[CPtart]

I too left the NHS after twenty years (district nurse) because they wouldn't allow me to work set days (including weekends and bank holidays). So I Went. Am now employed in general practice which although has its own stresses is great. I feel appreciated and am able to organise regular childcare.

[seaofyou]

sorry ssd not nursing...management doh!
I wonder if these new rules for mothers coming out in 2014?? where you can work term time only will then give you the opportunity to return? I hope so {{{hugs}}} it's hard esp when you love your job and lots of skills/experience to offer. Keep positive one day soon you can go back...I never thought I could and tbh don't know how long it will last hopefully the next 20 years but it depends how on ds is esp when going to secondary school then college etc but just thinking of Monday for now and taking it one day at a time.

[seaofyou]

OLKN and WBHV
and OLKN you know what this means I can be in a position to actually sell up and move at some point YAHOOOOO FREEDOM!!!!

ssd I know :( I'm so sorry...can you ever do a return to nursing course in the future when family life eases at some point?

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

Pleased to see your life improving, seaofyou. :)

[ssd]

oh op, I'm just glad you've found something so good to suit you, the benefits far outweigh the financial aspect x

[seaofyou]

{{{hugs}}} ssd if its any consolation I am finanically worse off returning to work although mentally/social/physically better off as will have contact with human kind again as can be very isolating with disabled child.

Thank you pansy and norem

[Norem]

I remember your thread, brilliant well done you :))

[pansyflimflam]

How wonderful, great news

[ssd]

brilliant op!

now if you see an old life wandering about looking lost and alone, please pass it onto me, I lost mine ages ago!!

[Xenia]

Ah, an old thread. Had read the update. Glad it worked out. I suppose the moral is see a solicitor and your life will always be improved.

[seaofyou]

ssd for your support too and Salbert and others...

I am going to work 4 days a week over school hours and school term times. The role also amazing as helping in pre/post diagnosis and support of adults with similar diagnosis to DS.

I feel I am getting my life back :)

Xenia just realised you were replying to my orginal thread for your suggestions :)

[Bonsoir]

Xenia - read the update! The OP found a better solution through a solicitor than your half-baked cake!

[ssd]

thats great op!

[seaofyou]

Xenia it is more complicated with child with disabilities....when ds first dx I used to have to attend 20-30 hospital appointments a year and you cant put your child in regular child care. The council offer childcare but at £35 hour you can see why a nurse who earns half that would not be able to work. Disability childcare private is £20-25 hr also. Plus their are not many of them around.

My mum who had 4 of us said it was far easier having 4 NT children than 1 disabled child.

NHS dont tend to do self employed working esp for nurses for the nurse/client protection and NHS Trust mainly for legal reasons.

[seaofyou]

Thanks Jake and {{{HUGS}}} for your situation too very similar and stressful. I had to stop as I ended up having more stress than some of the clients and I had to do Behavioural Therapy with DS 70 hours a week (every minute spare to close the gap as huge with NT dc).

It is hard I agree with disabled child and being a nurse and add to that only nurse with all that responsibility.
I am fortunate due to Gov new Policy and they need specialist role that I have been doing for 5 years at home.

If you contact NMC Jake your role may allow you to maintain your PIN? I worked voluntary with MS Society and DS Behaviour Therapy counted towards hours as I work in MH.

If you can keep your PIN you may well be able to return one day. There is also return to Nursing as another option when family life becomes easier. I am sure your current position you are still bringing expert professional advice and support that is not only fantastic for your clients and company but also gives you positive rewards. But please check with NMC re your PIN.

[Xenia]

Could you do the MSc evenings and weekends by post?
Could you hire a live in au pair even i fyou end up sharing a room with your child to help with childcare and keep working full time?
I work fulltime (5 children single parent like you supporting them alone) and finding reliable childcare is the most important aspect of it all.

Also could you not contract your services back to the NHS through an agency and go self employed?