My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Marion Fitzgerald says women shouldn't get “hysterical” about the risk of being murdered by a man

69 replies

UhtredRagnarson · 11/03/2021 11:12

link

Because men are far more likely to be murdered than women. This is in response to the murder of a woman, by a man.

Hmm

Don’t you ya just love to be called hysterical when in fear for your life?

OP posts:
Report
JayAlfredPrufrock · 11/03/2021 12:28

I do appreciate that she was trying to say

Don’t panic!

But it was a bloody tone deaf way of doing it.

Report
Bordois · 11/03/2021 12:36

How many men are blamed for their attacks and/or have questions asked about what they were doing in a particular place or out at a particular time?

Report
DeathAndTaxis · 11/03/2021 12:38

I knew that you lovely vipers would have a thread about this 😄.

It was truly awful - women shouldn't worry because they're at lower risk than men, if you do all of the right things, you'll magically be safe, and don't be hysterical. And from a woman too. Unbelievable.

Report
oil0W0lio · 11/03/2021 12:40

@InThisMultiverse

I wonder how many men are worried about being plucked off the streets and killed by a woman.

Men view women as subordinates
This mindset means that to them insubordination from a woman towards a man 'weighs' the same as lethal violence from a man towards a woman
Report
UhtredRagnarson · 11/03/2021 12:43

All fine and good but what will happen? What should we be looking at - laws and policies? Policing? Prevailing attitudes of misogyny? Denigration of women in society. Treatment of those men who commit the crimes. Prisons? The protections given to women in law? Sex-based Rights?

Are we not?

OP posts:
Report
InThisMultiverse · 11/03/2021 12:50

@oil0W0lio Yes, by the same logic it was only rape because of her blasted refusal to consent.

Report
Janeteapot · 11/03/2021 13:13

She should also consider that while men are more likely to be murdered, women are massively more likely to be sexually assaulted, harassed, victims of indecent exposure etc in public places. These things are themselves a cause of fear and also amplify the fear around more serious crime. It is also minimising these crimes (which IMO happens massively in the police) that leads to more serious crimes being committed.

Report
RoyalCorgi · 11/03/2021 13:20

In one sense she's right. As a woman you're much more likely to be murdered by someone close to you (husband, ex-boyfriend, step-father) than you are by a complete stranger. Personally, I don't find that massively reassuring.

But fear is a way that the patriarchy keeps us in line. When we go out and someone whistles at us, or catcalls us, or walks too closely behind us, or brushes past us on the pavement, we never know if that's the prelude to being raped or murdered. Most of the time it isn't going to be one of those things, but how can we be sure? It happens often enough that we can't discount it entirely. So we live in fear. We walk down the well-lit areas, we don't stay out late, we tell a friend where we're going, we let her know we'll text her when we've arrived home safely, we carry our keys in our hands, we cross the road if a stranger looks threatening. It all serves to keep us from living our lives as freely as we'd wish.

Report
CallforHecate · 11/03/2021 13:30

Infuriating, and such an ignorant use of language.
Who is this woman?!

Report
JayAlfredPrufrock · 11/03/2021 13:37

Visiting professor of Criminology at some Kent university I believe.

Report
newyearnewname123 · 11/03/2021 14:03

Maybe statistically women are less likely to be murdered by a stranger (and remember women take precautions when out at night/in strange places) but her whole 'don't be silly girls' tone was deeply offensive.

Given that all men I know walk home at pretty much any time day or night and most women I know would have planned a safe route home in advance, I would hope women were safer because of it.

Feeling safe enough to walk alone day or night must be amazing.

Report
thenonsensepotter · 11/03/2021 14:09

Fuck off Marion.

Report
toffeebutterpopcorn · 11/03/2021 14:12

(That was me listening to the radio this morning...)

Report
Outbutnotoutout · 11/03/2021 14:14

1 woman murdered every 3 days

But hey don't worry your pretty little head about it eh......

Report
Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 11/03/2021 14:18

Marion Fitzgerald says women shouldn't get “hysterical” about the risk of being murdered by a man

They didn't say that when George Floyd was murdered by a policeman.

I know it's differerent I know. But we face violence from men continually and should be allowed to express anger about it without being shut down.

Report
Soubriquet · 11/03/2021 14:20

Her argument is that men are more at risk at being killed by other men?

But it’s still men doing the murder...therefore we have every reason to be wary around men

Report
MistressoftheDarkSide · 11/03/2021 14:20

Oh the silencing of women. By other women. I'm not hysterical. I'm furious. Where are the campaigns directing men to modify their behaviour? Are we really at a point where we're still being told "Suck it up" because this is the way of the world and it's our responsibility not to get raped and murdered doing things that are acceptable for men, but not for us? Livid.

Report
HermitsLife · 11/03/2021 14:32

@Xoxoxoxoxoxox

Marion Fitzgerald says women shouldn't get “hysterical” about the risk of being murdered by a man

They didn't say that when George Floyd was murdered by a policeman.

I know it's differerent I know. But we face violence from men continually and should be allowed to express anger about it without being shut down.

I don't know. It's different but its the same. George Floyd was murdered because he was a black man and black men are seen as expendable, also lots of people did take to the media to try to minimise or excuse his murder, they just got the mood wrong because his murder was so sickening.

So I see that parallel.

I really hope this particular murder will make people wake up to the epidemic of violence against women and girls and not just accept it as an acceptable part of male behavior.

We also need to start seeing this as a man problem and not be afraid to call it what it is.
Report
Judashascomeintosomemoney · 11/03/2021 14:35

Well not some, The University of Kent. Where, incidentally, two young woman students were followed and grabbed, whilst out on campus, in Nov and Dec of last year. Wonder if her advice to them was not to be hysterical and they were perfectly safe?

Report
oil0W0lio · 11/03/2021 14:36

If there were wild animals killing women and men we wouldn't say to women 'don't worry more of the victims are male' we would say 'we need to tackle the wild animals and stop their killing spree'

Report
UhtredRagnarson · 11/03/2021 14:42

I just can’t fathom the logic behind telling people not to get upset about people, any people, being murdered because other people are also murdered. It’s still a serious problem, it’s still scary.

OP posts:
Report
UhtredRagnarson · 11/03/2021 14:43

@oil0W0lio

If there were wild animals killing women and men we wouldn't say to women 'don't worry more of the victims are male' we would say 'we need to tackle the wild animals and stop their killing spree'

Exactly this! Very well put.
OP posts:
Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

AdHominemNonSequitur · 11/03/2021 15:02

Psychopaths are the problem, this isn't normal behaviour for any sex and I understand men feeling a little aggrieved to be lumped in with people with clear clinical pathology.

What has happened to Sarah Everard is tragic and shocking. It should never have happened to anyone, man or woman, and I feel angry and sick to my stomach for her and her friends and family, but it is worth remembering that random violent attacks by strangers are really rare.

It is also true that a woman is statistically safer than a man when out at night. It may be because of the precautions women take, but it is still the case.

I don't mean to undermine the risk or minimise peoples feelings of fear, because an average strength woman is clearly less able to defend herself against an average strength man, but just to caution perspective.

Report
SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 11/03/2021 16:30

Nice one Marion.

You will excuse me though if I feel more attuned to the way Cressida Dick describes it.

I am out on my own. I keep very odd hours due to my job in very isolated locations.

It isn’t women I’m afraid of.

Hope that helps.

Women are safer because we’ve had to try harder to keep ourselves safe.

And yes, my ex nearly did for me but strangers have tried to attack me too.

As said, it isn’t women I’m more likely to ‘get hysterical’ about. But keep on making the poor men the victims Marion...

Report
PotholeParadies · 11/03/2021 16:40

I'm not hysterical. I'm furious, and the only acceptable level of risk of sexual assault ans murder I should face when walking home is none.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.