Help me articulate why this is sexist

[Namechange47308281]

If you described yourself as ‘crying like a girl’.
Yes women are more inclined and encouraged to show their emotions. But it’s still sexist is it not?
There are massive negative connotations to the phrase surely?

[BlingLoving]

Of course it's sexist. It's part of the default assumption that girls/women are LESS than boys/men. So by definition, if you "cry like a girl" that is MORE crying, less dignified, less relatable, less understandable because girls cry easily/for silly reasons.

Similarly, "throwing like a girl" is a blatant statement that you are throwing badly because again, all girls throw badly. (obviously, all these are the baseline, sexist assumptions).

The "man up" type comments are the same but from the other side - ie it is desirable to behave like a man.

Dh saw a lot of this when he used to be out and about with Ds when he was a toddler and he said it really upset him every time. To see a 3 year old being told off for "crying like a girl" because he'd run out of bread for the ducks or whatever made him so cross.

[Antibles]

“Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short and wear shirts and boots because it's okay to be a boy; for girls it's like promotion. But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, according to you, because secretly you believe that being a girl is degrading.”

Ian McEwan, The Cement Garden

So if you are male and you do anything 'like a girl' (the inferior, penetrated sex) you are degrading yourself.

[Coyoacan]

I agree with Errol.

In Robert Webb's "How not to be a boy" he says that the only negative emotion that a lot of men are allowed to express is anger.

So sadness, frustration, disappointment, etc. etc. come out as anger and women pay the price for that.

[NC4Now]

There were plenty of good comments on that thread. I particularly liked, “I think you’ll find you were crying like a man.”

[june2007]

Man up is also just as bad.

[JellySlice]

It's sexist because he is a man using the term "cried like a girl" to show that he was behaved weakly, in an umanly way. Men must be strong! Men must not show emotions! Especially not emotions displaying any weakness!

Had he said he 'cried like a child', it would not have been insulting because children do display their emotions, are allowed to display distress in distressing circumstances.

For a male to describe something negative of himself as being something female is a statement that female is negative. Sexist.

[DickKerrLadies]

I honestly can't think of any time I've heard an insult that ended in the words 'like a boy' yet it's an awful thing for a boy to be told he's crying like a girl, or running like a girl, or throwing like a girl. I've heard those lots.

Why is it so bad for a boy to be 'like a girl' but fine for a girl to be 'like a boy'?

Is the worst thing a male can be, to be like a female? That's a hypothetical question, as we all know what the worst thing you can call someone is and what that means.

[Changename5000]

Called run like a girl

[ErrolTheDragon]

Yes, it's sexist.
But although its denigrating to women as being weak, it's really more deleterious to men - under some circumstances (eg in this particular case) its entirely normal and healthy for anyone to cry. 'Big boys don't cry' ... not good.

[2ndStar]

It’s used to criticise behaviour in men/boys, of course it’s sexist. As is like a woman, gossips like a woman for example.

[deydododatdodontdeydo]

Throw like a girl is a common phrase, too.
In contrast to the poster above, I have heard other mums telling their sons to "stop crying like a girl".

[PositiveVibez]

Of course it's sexist. It's used to denote a weakness. Used by males.

You never hear a woman using this phrase.

It's only ever used by adult males.

It's the same a man telling another man he is a 'fanny' or a 'pussy' for acting weak.

[june2007]

TBH I don,t really here crying like a girl m,uch. But yes of course its sexist.

[TreestumpsAndTrampolines]

Had he said "I cried like a baby" or "I cried like when I was a little boy" - both perfectly fine.

exactly this.

Boys cry just the same as girls, unless they've been indoctrinated into toxic masculinity and taught that the only emotion they are allowed to show is anger.

[saturdaynightathome]

It is sexist because it's being portrayed as a weakness.

Women do not describe themselves as crying like a girl. It's an expression only used in judgment, by men and about men.

[DidoLamenting]

There is nothing wrong with a grown woman saying "I cried like a baby" or "I cried like when I was a little girl" if the intention is to convey the sort of uncontrollable reaction a small , female child might have had.

Had he said "I cried like a baby" or "I cried like when I was a little boy" - both perfectly fine.

In his current circumstances however whilst it was an unthinking remark I think on the whole I would have let this one go. His remark was casual sexism but making a thread to criticise him given his and his family's circumstances also seems a bit distasteful.

[ladybee28]

Explaining sexism to a police officer would be like trying to explain the history of domestication to your pet cat. A waste of effort and then they wouldn't care anyway

Speaking of prejudice...

[Qcng]

Explaining sexism to a police officer would be like trying to explain the history of domestication to your pet cat. A waste of effort and then they wouldn't care anyway.

[DrDreReturns]

Shakespeare did it in King Lear, "women's weapons, water-drops"

[LadyBBKing]

A senior Male police officer is "crying like a girl". Distasteful

[Namechange47308281]

From a senior police officer.

[SliAnChroi]

I think it susggests a load of sexist assumptions, like girls cry over nothing, that their tears are fake..

[Pertella]

A girl/woman wouldn't be described as crying like a girl, it is only something said to boys/men in an attempt to shame them for showing emotion.

[DCIRozHuntley]

Hmm. Girl tells us 3 things - species is human, sex is female, age is under 18. I suppose a woman can describe themselves as "crying like a girl" because they are female and know how they used to cry as a child.

If it wasn't sexist and just related to the age of the person, though, men would cry like boys.

[WrathofFaeKIopp]

'Like a girl' is a phrase that is putting someone down based on sexist views.
'Crying like a girl' reinforces sexist stereotypes.
Not a massive issue but annoying to think there are people who still believe in 1950's gender stereotypes.