Here it is - it's way down the responses at this point:
'I take issue with the idea that there is a certain way respectable women are supposed to act in public. Women?s behavior is already policed so much by a value system which praises her for being sweet and modest while condemning her for having any expression of her sexuality or interest in her own physical pleasure. It?s not helpful to young women to reiterate these ideas because it feeds into the notion that unless a woman plays by the rules of this (very patronizing) game, she is then to blame should she be victimized by a man. In other words, although I?m sure this isn?t your intention, what you say about ladies needing to behave certain ways in public is a slippery slope to then claiming a woman who is raped somehow deserved it because she wore a short skirt. You may think I?m bringing in an extreme example, but your extreme rhetoric regarding what you might do to your daughter (although said in jest) encourages me to point out the link between shaming a woman for behaving in a way you might find tasteless and then also blaming a woman for being attacked by a man. I would hope that you might support your daughter in developing the strength to question the notion that she needs to behave one way or another (as defined by whether or not it will rouse the behavior of men) within a society that already expects women to take the back seat on so many issues that matter towards their success in life (like control over their reproductive health and the ability to earn an equal wage). Unless you?re willing to say that men also should repress all expressions of sexuality in public, the double standard you are proposing for your daughter is really not helpful. It just serves to reinforce the idea that women live in a man?s world, where the rules set by men are the rules a woman must follow.' [Alice Baker, posted Aug 29th]