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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Slane girl 2013

85 replies

FrigginRexManningDay · 19/08/2013 10:54

I became aware of this yesterday on twitter and subsequently other social networking sites. It took hours for twitter to act.

Eminem played at Slane Castle on Saturday. A girl was photographed performing a sex act there. The picture went up on twitter and Facebook basically destroying this girl. The picture was retweeted many many times often with derogatory comments. The boys involved were regarded as heroes and legends. Slut shaming at its worst.
The girl is 15/16 years old (different reports of her age). It took Twitter hours and hundreds of emails to get them to react.
She is a young girl thrown to the lions.

OP posts:

Report

Moln · 22/08/2013 17:39

well here's one major difference, nothing is kniw about the boy, except where he (possibly) is from. The other male involved absolutely nothing.

The girl however her name was all over Twitter, as was where she's from, as was her age. This is because she's female, there are people attempting to justify that it's because she's the 'common demoninator' in the pictures.

However I've a strong feeling that if it where two females one man (being the common denominator) that it would be the two females having their details sort out and passed around.

OctopusPete8 · 22/08/2013 15:40

If thats aimed at me , I AM NOT A MAN.

plus I don't think anyones being mean here that I have seen, but it does have to be remembered a crime has been committed here.

scallopsrgreat · 22/08/2013 11:57

Thank you Yoni. My thoughts entirely.

YoniTime · 22/08/2013 11:50

This was posted on the Feminist board. The situation for teenage girls and boys different, I guess that was OP's point. People, I assume some men, coming on the thread and just going omg i saw the pixx omg dirrty they're both guilty just don't seem to get that. It's disturbing actually. More analysis please.

Moln · 22/08/2013 11:22

as far as I can tell nothing is known about the boy. his age etc, though it was reported that he's thought to be from Belfast (as is the girl who apparently uploaded the picture) and that he was possible involved in a public order incident before the concert.

OctopusPete8 · 22/08/2013 10:47

Unfortunately she doesn't have a leg to stand on, she was very publicly performing a sexual act, the people taking the pictures are not really in the wrong here. People have the right to take pictures of public things , whether you want to is another thing.

Its also a crime, to perform sex/acts in public and as far as I know they were all the same age.

So ,yeah's I feel for the lass, is she still under sedation??

OctopusPete8 · 22/08/2013 10:42

all the kids were the same age weren't they?

zatyaballerina · 21/08/2013 15:46

There needs to be a law to prosecute people for publishing videos or photos on social media that are used to bully, harass, intimidate, degrade, abuse or humiliate people.

Everybody makes mistakes and ten/fifteen years ago it would have been horribly embarrassing one best forgotten, she's unfortunate enough to be growing up in the age of camera phones and the internet where your every move is documented and every mistake risks exposing you to bullying, ridicule and abuse from the entire world. There is no escape for these kids. No wonder the poor girl is under sedation in hospital

SinisterSal · 21/08/2013 15:06

no problem!

comingalongnicely · 21/08/2013 14:54

Sorry - didn't mean to come across as defensive. Too quick to type sometimes!

SinisterSal · 21/08/2013 14:33

I said 'as far as I can see'. It is true that many many teens go through a period of rejecting their parents values in favour of their peers'. It's not a controversial thing to say, nor is it a slight on your parenting.

comingalongnicely · 21/08/2013 14:31

Sinister - "Sex Ed and parents have feck all influence over kids for that couple of formative years in their teens, afaics"

You must be doing it wrong then. We certainly influenced our children and instilled some morals into them, I certainly wouldn't not try to influence them because they're exploring their "sexual identity" but I agree, the huge focus on porn nowadays doesn't help.

Scallops - OK, wasn't aware that she'd complained before the pics went viral, but in regards to
"There doesn't appear to have been any 'letting' hmm involved, at least not on the girl's side"
it could be argued that, by doing the deed in a public place in front of a crowd of people, it was a fairly likely outcome, I'm not condoning it, just pointing out the bleeding obvious.

SinisterSal · 21/08/2013 14:22

I advise you to read the thread periodmath, it's a bit more complex than that.

SinisterSal · 21/08/2013 14:21

Sex Ed and parents have feck all influence over kids for that couple of formative years in their teens, afaics, comingalongnicely
they really identify more with their friends, and form little subsets which are heavily influenced by media/music/pop culture/sport/whatever scenes.
It is part of forming a separate identity from parents, it's healthy I suppose, and they grow out of it.
But while you have a hypersexualised and pornified society such as ours you are going to get incidents like this. I am sure some people think it's totally fine.
Teens exploring their sexualities is of course normal and healthy and all that. (I feel like I have to state the bleedin obvious before someone brings up the pearlclutching witticism)
but they are not starting out from a place of relative 'neutrality' are they? (If ever they did, of course). They are heavily influenced by porn, and notions of service and submission, and all that goes with that.

Society ids no less fucked up about sex now as it was 100 years ago.
You still have the madonna/whore thing, sex is still something women do to please men, if you do you're a slut if you don't you are a prude.

scallopsrgreat · 21/08/2013 14:19

"I think she's going to complain of sexual abuse now whether she was or wasn't, the publicity has certainly made sure of that."

What is that supposed to mean? She complained of abuse before these pictures were released.

"Letting people take pics or vids, or sending them the same is plain stupid" There doesn't appear to have been any 'letting' involved, at least not on the girl's side.

comingalongnicely · 21/08/2013 13:47

I think she's going to complain of sexual abuse now whether she was or wasn't, the publicity has certainly made sure of that.

Not sure about the pictures thing, from a photography point of view (for normal pics) you can't stop someone publishing a photo of you taken in a public place -they don't need any permission from you. Obviously it's not that simple in this case as it's potentially a criminal act that pictures are being published of (not to mention bullying, malicious and in really bad taste)

One thing that is apparent is that Sex Ed and Parents really, really need to make sure that kids understand that -
a: Doing this stuff in public isn't clever
b: Letting people take pics or vids, or sending them the same is plain stupid
c: Distributing this sort of stuff isn't a "laugh", it could end up with someone's life ruined (or worse).

I'm going to be talking to my kids tonight. I don't think they'd do anything like this, but I want them to understand the ramifications for all involved.

Until kids do, this sort of crap, and the stupid attitudes that cause it, are here to stay!

scallopsrgreat · 21/08/2013 13:34

Apologies for my part I was under the misapprehension that they were adults (I haven't seen the pictures). Evidently not.

However, that does not take away from the fact that she was sexually abused both from her claims and from the fact that her pictures have been distributed without her consent. And to give her the same agency as those who are not getting blamed and shamed is wrong. Her behaviour is the primary focus of the bullying not the boys behaviour. Their part in all this appears to be an afterthought.

FreyaSnow · 21/08/2013 13:00

She has been referred to this thread as both a girl and a woman by different posters. He has been referred to as both a man and a boy by different posters.

The abuse issue is her complaint and the police investigation about other males, and footage of her being abused by a group of males. There is not at this point any reports of the boy making a complaint about abuse or any footage showing a group of males or females abusing him.

PeriodMath · 21/08/2013 12:49

Why is she referred to on here as a girl but the males are referred to as men? How do you know they're not all children?

Why is the male receiving the bj an abuser? But the poor sweet girl giving it is a victim?

What does this say about our warped attitudes towards female sexuality? That boys get sex of their own free will because they enjoy it but girls couldn't possibly therefore they must be being abused?

And young girls make foolish decisions but young boys are just rapey men in waiting?

Moln · 21/08/2013 12:38

Also check my post from early, prior to the video and photo she approached the guards (that's the Irish police in case you dont already know) about sexual harrasment.

FreyaSnow · 21/08/2013 12:17

I have only just found that out myself from reading the link to the police's involvement, so I don't think you or people in general are to blame for not knowing stuff that is only just coming to light.

Mollydoggerson · 21/08/2013 12:07

FreyaSnow, sorry I didn't know these details, I shouldn't have posted. Thanks for filling me in.

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FreyaSnow · 21/08/2013 12:06

Sorry, I meant the complaint is NOT against that boy.

FreyaSnow · 21/08/2013 12:05

MD, the girl's complaint that she was sexually assaulted in against that boy, but concerns another incident at the same event. The complaint was made prior to the release of these photos.

Whether or not these photos were released as a consequence of her making a complaint (to discredit her complaint on the basis that she engaged in kissing and other acts with other males) is not yet known, but the YouTube video that was taken down seems to suggest she was a target of harassment by others because she was kissing somebody.

Mollydoggerson · 21/08/2013 11:56

She is a child
He is most likely a child.
The other boy she gave a blow job to is probably a child.
The person who took the photo is probably a child.
All of them were probably under the influence of drink/drugs.
Many of the people reposting the photo are teenagers.

From my reading of this site the general consensus is she made a mistake, he is an abuser? He appears to be a child too.Whether he realises this or not he is also a victim of the posting of the photograph. He is recieving a pretty sharp backlash also.

Why is it so important/popular to push boundaries? We all have the same body parts, there is only so much any of us can do, why is it deemed cool to push boundaries?

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