East is East film - scenes of DV

[BootyMum]

East is East was on tv the other night. It is an amusing film and I was enjoying it until it suddenly crossed into quite dark and disturbing territory with what seemed to me to be an abrupt change of gears. This was the scene of the previously loving husband beating the crap out of his wife and one of his adult sons.

Previous to this event the Pakistani husband and English wife had seemed to have a loving and equal relationship. The husband pontificates about being the head of the household, his wife is not in the least cowed and gives back as good as she gets. He seems to enjoy the verbal sparring and the couple seem to have a vibrant and mutually respectful relationship. They are also shown as having an intimate and sexual relationship.

However, the husband is both disappointed and enraged when his sons refuse to marry the Pakistani origin brides that have been chosen for them. His wife stands up for her sons and the husband punches her repeatedly in a frankly deranged attack. She is left bruised and battered.

This is a shocking scene. However what makes it worse is that the wife, although angry is cowed and becomes submissive to her husband's will. She in turn becomes infuriated by her sons resistance to their father's dictats and tells them they must respect their father and her husband whilst they live under his roof. In one of the final scenes she offers her husband a cup of tea and it seemed to me to be her offering an olive branch to the husband who had been disappointed in her.

Now I know this movie was set in the 1970s and attitudes to DV may have been very different then. But still I was very shocked and saddened how a feisty and confident woman was so "punished" by her husband and this was excused in the context of his disappointment and distress at the situation his family was in.

I felt this film normalised DV within a apparently loving relationship. Prior to this the film had been a light hearted look at a cross culture clash but suddenly became something quite unpleasant and horrifying [the DV] but only the husband's and sons perspectives were explored in the context of the plot.

It left a nasty taste in my mouth. Apologies if this is a bit of a ramble but I was just wondering if anyone else felt the same as me or had any thoughts on this? I have seen that the husband and wife characters are still together in the forthcoming sequel and I guess that I just feel disappointed that the DV was brushed over in the original and that there appears to be no ramifications [wife leaving] in the sequel. I feel this sends out a disturbing message about what is acceptable and normal in an otherwise supportive and happy relationship.

[BootyMum]

Ah yes LRD I see what you mean.

And I agree, I would have also liked her motivations and feelings explored in more depth.

[LRDTheFeministDragon]

That's true, Lenin, it may have been part of the point her feelings weren't explored. Still a shame though, to me anyway.

[HeifferunderConstruction]

I thinks its meant to be realisitc rather tham giving a message IYSWIM

[HeifferunderConstruction]

Doesnt she stand up to him in the end??

[FreudianSlipper]

i am trying to think of a film that shows dv is such a realistic light and i am struggling

agree it would have been good to explore her feelings more but also what was unsaid and not done spoke volumes great acting and acknowledgement that women put up with it because they had very little choice

maybe op you need to watch the film again you will see the messages being given more clearly through the humour yes the atmosphere turned at that point in the film but look at the racism that the family suffered and they just brushed it off because that is what it was like, being called a paki and or being told to fuck off home was a an almost everyday occurrence

[FreudianSlipper]

she stands up to him throughout the film, she does not fear him or the violence that is what is so sad is that she has accepted that is what her marriage is about

[HeifferunderConstruction]

FS- summed it up well DV only became a crime in 1970, how many women will have had the courage to escape that circumstance with such a 'new' law.

especially if you think of how many women now still stay in violent relationships 40 years later , sorry a lil off tangent but it is relevant

the 'just leave' mentality wasnt really there especially in a culture like that so unashamedly misogyinistic (still is) she probably was marginalised for marrying out of her race at that time all is relevant. Who would she have had to turn to??

[BootyMum]

Thanks to everyone who's responded to this.

I feel you have all gone a way towards filling in the missing gaps for me re Ella's possible motivations, thoughts and feelings.

I also feel that I've learnt something about what it might have been to like to be married to a Pakistani man in 1970s Britain - not the DV as I do not feel this is necessarily related to George being Pakistani but rather the casual racism, judgement and exclusion Ella might have experienced from the community. Also how DV may have been more commonplace or at least more accepted as something that is between a man and wife and not censured by wider society.

Again I guess I just would have liked to hear more of Ella's story. Perhaps the producers should take heed and make a third film which focuses more on her!

[AnyFucker]

out of interest, does anyone know when Women's Aid was set up ?

[justforaminute]

i think it was around 1974?
i think Erin Pizzey set up the first shelter also around 1973/4?in chiswick.

sparky

[AnyFucker]

thanks sparks

[AnyFucker]

yes, nil by mouth was one of the most sobering films I have ever seen

[NormanTebbit]

What I have never understood is why East is East was marketed as a comedy when it's actually quite a gritty, sad film.

It was the same with The Full Monty - everyone else seemed to see a hilarious comedy while I saw a sad and angry film about the destruction of the industrial north.

[SweetGrapes]

I liked it. Have seen it quite a few times. I thought that was why benefits for lone parents etc came into place, no? am I wrong?
I just thought of it as a pre-options, pre-acceptable-divorce movie when the women really had to shut up and put up.

[DontCallMeFrothyDragon]

1974 rings a bell for Women's Aid. Would have been interesting if the film had been set even a year or two later in that matter.

Rather upsettingly, this used to be xP's favourite film. I didn't see the irony in that til a few years ago. However, he saw the funny side of it. I used to sit and cringe every time he stuck the bloody film on. I have only watched it once in the past two and a half years, so don't think I can comment too well on it.

Has anyone here watched Waitress? That's another black comedy dealing with DV, but that one, I felt, had a better ending.

[Hardgoing]

East is East is not a comedy in the 'ha, ha' sense. It deals with immigration, cultural clashes, homosexuality (the estranged secret brother), circumcision and the lot of many many working class women in the 1970's.

I thought it was a very realistic portrayal of DV (or rather some people's experience of DV) precisely because it shows why women then and now don't always get up and leave; she had 6 children with him, no economic independence, a feisty and not always unbalanced power relationship, had fun and great times too. I think imagining DV as either a one-off that immediately ends a relationship, or that it only occurs to highly submissive women is very mistaken.

I think it is a great film precisely because it shows the tension and the tangles of their relationship. She has given up so much and had to endure so much stigma to be his wife: how can she then turn round and leave when he lashes out (as if being a single mum with six kids was an option then anyway?) And Ella does not always stand up to him, she is estranged from her gay child on his command. He is definitely the head of the household, but by the end of the film, it's clear that this model of dominant father and submissive wife and children just won't work in their new situation.

I might watch it again, I love that film (and the little boy who won't take his parka coat off)