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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Posted this in AIBU - finding it strangely upsetting

28 replies

Spero · 09/03/2011 19:54

I am not usually upset by things, but this one got to me.

Sorry, probably not best link, but if it comes up with loads of articles you need to scroll down to 'text book stupidity'.

I just keep thinking that the author was once a little boy who presumably loved his mum

jezebel.com/#!5779905/usc-frat-guys-email-explains-women-are-targets-not-actual-people-like-us-men

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AyeRobot · 09/03/2011 20:20

I'm sure he still loves his mum. But she's different from all other, ugh, "pie-targets".

God Bless America.

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Spero · 09/03/2011 20:35

But that is what I just don't get. How you can love and (hopefully) respect your mum but have these kind of views about other women?

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InmaculadaConcepcion · 09/03/2011 20:42

Virgin/whore complex?

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Spero · 09/03/2011 20:45

But women according to him aren't even 'whores'. They aren't even people. I know it is supposed to be some humourous parady but I think of my daugther meeting somelike him at a party in ten years and I actually feel sick.

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HecateTheCrone · 10/03/2011 07:18

He has dehumanised them.

It is also what rapists do.

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Blackduck · 10/03/2011 08:19

Non-consent and rape are two different things
God that is a depressing read....

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Reality · 10/03/2011 08:24

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dittany · 10/03/2011 08:52

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queenofthecapitalwasteland · 10/03/2011 09:09

Nothing 'strangely' upsetting here: It's extreemly upsetting, sick and horrifying.

The idea of 'loop and droop' is nothing more than rape (I only skimmed through before feeling ill) and if that idea passes for normal in these farternities they should al be disbanded.

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Spero · 10/03/2011 10:02

Sorry, I didn't mean it was 'strange' to find it upsetting, but rather I have read so many similar things and managed to shrug them off as just misogynistic ramblings and tried to pity the author. But this really struck a nerve. I guess it is because it is so detailed. A really worrying amount of thought has gone into this. It describes his whole world view and presumably he is not alone.

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dittany · 10/03/2011 10:39

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dittany · 10/03/2011 10:42

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Spero · 10/03/2011 10:46

I think it is because my daughter is getting older and soon she won't be a cute little girl, she will be a teenager and I have to face up to the fact that there appear to be a lot of men out there who will just see her as a walking orifice. So sad.

the thing that really got to me was when he lists women according to 'hotness' and says a '7' is 'wife material - don't fuck this up'. He wants to get married!! He wants to have children presumably! He might have daughters.

Why are some men like this? What has gone wrong?

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dittany · 10/03/2011 10:50

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FlamingoBingo · 10/03/2011 10:53

I'm getting angrier by the day!

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Spero · 10/03/2011 10:54

I suppose I am old enough now not to see him as 'powerful', just pathetic. I don't crave male approval or want them to have sex with me to validate me. But it has taken me 40 years to get to this point.

If my daughter gets caught up in this way of thinking; that she must shave off all her pubic hair and give out blow jobs in order to get men to 'like her' I will be devastated. I am not sure what is the best thing to do to help educate and protect her.

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FlamingoBingo · 10/03/2011 10:58

But the point is, Spero, that even if it's not going to affect you directly, the fact that there are men around at all with such a vile attitude is dangerous for society, and dangerous for women. It is so much easier to be violent towards a group of people who you don't see as humans - and before anyone says 'Godwin's Law - debate now void', the Holocaust was possible simply becauase the perpetrators didn't see Jews as humans like them. Same as all other genocides; the slave trade etc.

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dittany · 10/03/2011 11:01

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FlamingoBingo · 10/03/2011 11:03

And then there are all the popular films with teenaged boys talking about girls and women like they're pieces of meat which are on this planet solely for the physical and visual enjoyment of men, and if they don't manage to win the approval of men, physically or visually, then there is no point to them and it's ok to be very rude and aggressive towards them.

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dittany · 10/03/2011 11:12

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MumInBeds · 10/03/2011 11:23

I've just read it all through (including the racism at the bottom). I'm lost for words at how wrong it is. I can only hope that the reason it has been leaked is because those to whom it was sent disagreed with it.

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FlamingoBingo · 10/03/2011 11:23

Oh I bet it does, dittany.

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Spero · 10/03/2011 11:54

Because I said he doesn't have power over me, doesn't mean I don't think this is very dangerous and disturbing.

I immediately went on to say how worried I am for my daughter who presumably is going to get caught up in this sort of mindset, unless she is gifted with great wisdom and insight which would be unlikely for anyone at a young age. She is going to want boys to fancy her (I am assuming she will be heterosexual, but maybe she will save herself a lot of grief and have a different sexual orientation) and will thus be at risk of getting caught up in this horrible way of thinking and acting.

yes, it must come from American Pie - which makes it even sadder in a way as the essential message of that film was actually quite sweet; sex is not the be all and end all, don't treat women like pieces of meat (or pie)

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queenofthecapitalwasteland · 10/03/2011 14:11

Sorry Spero, that wasn't intended as an attack, just resignation that ever since I came to this board my eyes have been opened to the degredation of women and girls that I once considered 'normal' and most days it just makes me want to cry .

Sadly I find attitudes like the moron who wrote that are the 'normal' ones and we're 'strange' to question it.

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GlitterHo · 10/03/2011 14:22

after reading that
I bet that Raw Dog Assassin won't be so cocky and blaise
when he gets a nice dose of Aids from a cleveland slapper or whatver he calls them,

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