If you are slim, please tell me how the conversation in your head goes

[whatisheupto]

If you are over the age of 38 and reasonably slim / not overweight, please tell me this:

An hour or two after dinner when you really fancy a bit of toast, do you tell yourself "no" and force yourself to resist the urge? When your brain nags you again, do you give it a firm "no" until and tell it to go away?
When you really want a small bowl of cornflakes before bed, do you just stop yourself and ignore the hunger pangs? Do you tell yourself "come on, you can do this. Think how good you'll feel tomorrow"

Do you tell yourself these things every day? For years? And rarely give in to temptation?

Or do you just never usually fancy a piece of toast or a late bowl of cornflakes? So it's just not a problem for you?

Are slim people better at self control, or are they just experiencing fewer urges?

[hopsalong]

My BMI is about 19 and I'm just into my 40s (so appreciate this might all change soon!). But honestly I find the idea of having a conversation in my head after dinner about what to eat pretty alien. If I happened to be hungry and wanted toast or cereal I would have it, but if that happened a lot (it did when I was breastfeeding and my appetite was higher) then I would basically assume I wasn't feeding myself very well at dinner and up my portion sizes/ include more calorically dense but healthy foods (eg an avocado as a starter).

In reality, this sort of thing doesn't happen to me that much. I do sometimes feel like eating a lot of chocolate after dinner but it isn't because I'm hungry, it's just because I'm watching TV or working on my laptop and bored. I will always eat a bit, but do exercise some self-control in leaving it at a couple of squares. (Also in not pouring another glass of wine...) But I can honestly say that it isn't difficult for me because I'm not genuinely hungry. I would find it extremely difficult if I were and had to go to bed hungry and I am sorry for anyone who has to do that to maintain a healthy weight. My experience is that most thin people are basically lucky, and don't have exceptional self-control. When I tested my DNA I discovered I had lots of genes for having lower than average weight, and if they test my glucose it's always pretty low even if I haven't been fasting.

If I exercise a lot however then I naturally start to gain weight. If my weight gets too low then it's usually a sign I'm being too inactive, so I will start running 3 miles every day. This massively increases my appetite.

[rachelfrost]

Cereal or toast are breakfast and breakfast is a meal. So what op is describing is a bonus meal. I might have a snack if I’m hungry or bored after dinner but it would be an apple or a biscuit.

Also, if I was going to have a bonus meal it would never be breakfast. It would have olives in it. And cheese.

[IndiaMay]

I don't think I would ever consider having toast in an evening! Is that not just a 4th meal in the day? Its breakfast all over again

[rayn]

There is a saying. Can't remember which country! Think it is Mongolia. You need to eat half as much and walk twice as much!
So true. I have an unhealthy obsession with food and am 3 stone overweight.
I eat a lot of junk but this thread has inspired me!
Slim people don't eat as much as me! Simple. I am an empanada habitual eater and feel like I deserve food. It's my go to for comfort. Going to try harder.

[Mixitupalot]

I am currently low carbing on bootcamp and I have at least another stone to go. What I came on to say is that I am starving all the time even before I started this way of eating. I am a big foodie so I love nothing more than cooking/snacking and enjoying the flavours. I also have a massive sweet tooth. I wasn’t like this until about 8 years ago when I had my last child, I was sick for a few months and just ate everything I wanted. Before that I was slim and could eat what I wanted.

It’s very interesting to see everyone’s replies on here.

[SpokeTooSoon]

I have been recalling some of the posts on this thread over the past few days as I fight evening cravings.

A very simple thing I’ve realised is that if I take myself out of the kitchen I’m less likely to have the urge to snack. So obvious I guess!

[NotAnotherUserNumber]

@freesolo It sounds like you are just like me - maintaining size 8 by being quite food obsessed and restrictive and then easily gaining weight whenever you drop the calorie counting. I think for some of us, this is the only answer if we want to maintain a small size, but it can be pretty miserable!

[fishonabicycle]

And apparently the main difference in people is not in metabolic rate (which tends to have a fairly narrow range), but in appetite.

[fishonabicycle]

I'm 55 and slim - I get urges to eat all the time! I tend to roughly calorie count all the time and don't eat after dinner (or if I do it's a mini ice lolly type of thing). I just have to say no to myself a lot. No magic bullet for me unfortunately.

[freesolo]

Spoketoosoon (sorry I don't know how to tag) it's because I didn't want to go over my calorie allowance for the day. At the moment I'm trying to lose a couple of pounds and then maintain. Sometimes I just stop all the calorie counting and eat what I want, but within a few weeks my weight starts to creep up and I have to start again

[Shinygreenelephant]

I’m size 8-10 (more of a 10 at the moment) When I feel like a snack I have a cup of tea instead and 9 times out of 10 that’s enough. If I’m still really dying for a snack I have one, but I don’t keep any junk food in the house so the snack is something like olives or maybe cashews. If I’m genuinely hungry, for example if the baby’s got me up late and it’s been ages since tea, I will make myself a sandwich or something, I can’t sleep if I’m hungry. We have junk food sometimes as a treat but don’t just have it lying round the house causing temptation. I couldn’t be constantly denying myself food all the time but It’s no better for me to be eating all the time out of habit or because I’m bored/stressed/in a mood so I try and find the balance and it seems to work, although I’ve put on half a stone over lockdown with the gym being closed and being home all day so maybe it doesn’t work as well as I think!

[SpokeTooSoon]

freesolo why didn’t you have the chocolate? Is it a slippery slope and you fear if you have one you’ll want three? (I get that) it would one bar put you over your allowance for the day? Are you trying to lose or maintain? I’m just interested because I’m denying myself because I’m actively trying to lose weight but in my size 10 days I wouldn’t have thought twice about having chocolate whenever I wanted it.

[LightenUpSummer]

PurpleDaisies that's really interesting, v different from me. I'm fascinated by gut bacteria, and apparently everyone has a different mixture of strains and the help digest food, so it might be true that we react completely differently to the same food...

I must be the exact opposite because I have an inflammatory condition in my intestines and have to stay off gluten completely (and to a lesser extent all grains). Hence the fascination with something as weird as gut bacteria!

[daisydukes7576]

Don't buy any unhealthy foods. If it isn't there you can't eat it.

Also, I do resist the urge many times at least with cakes, sweets etc.

You also have to eat the right foods. Food high in protein keeps you fuller for longer and therefore less likely to snack.

Do some research. I don't mean that in a toady way but I honestly believe the key to Weight loss is education.

[freesolo]

This is such an interesting thread. I'm quite slim at size 8-10 , I do a lot of exercise ( either a workout or run every day, 6 days a week) but I'm someone who thinks about food a lot. I'm often hungry and the only way I lose weight or maintain is by making a massive effort to think about reducing food. The only thing that makes me less hungry is increasing my protein, this is quite a new revelation! I nearly cried today as I made myself eat 2 turkey slices with some cottage cheese (delicious by the way) as I would have given my right arm to swap those calories for chocolate, however it's 4 hours since I ate and I'm still not hungry

[PurpleDaisies]

I have toast or crumpets almost every day for breakfast. That keeps me full.
I don’t think bodies work in one way.

[LightenUpSummer]

JeanMichelBisquiat absolutely spot on.

I have bacon and eggs for breakfast, which keeps me full till lunch. BUT if I had bread/toast in addition to that, it triggers the mechanism you mention and I'd be hungry much sooner.

[JeanMichelBisquiat]

Low carb here - if I ate lots of carbs, I'd be really hungry soon afterwards. You metabolise carbs really quite differently.

And also intermittent fasting - I don't eat until lunchtime, and find that if I'm properly hungry, I actually have better satiety - that is, I feel full on less food. Weirdly, when I eat when not that hungry, it's easier to overeat!

And I have to have loads of sleep - it all goes out of the window if I'm tired!

There are proper hormonal/metabolic reasons behind all these - cortisol, ghrelin etc....

[Narrows]

It's interesting to hear from other runners that there's a similar trade off. I think I've only gradually realised the extent of my runner friend's disordered attitude to food, as she's generally a fantastically disciplined person in all areas of her life -- she's a novelist, and I've realised down the years that one thing that all her POV characters have in common, whatever their gender, occupation, historical period etc, is a continual preoccupation with food.

[AnnaNimmity]

I agree, part of the reason I run, is to allow myself to eat more. I am certainly not in the position of being indolent, slim and able to eat what I want. I have to manage both my exercise and my diet in order to be slim and the half stone I've gained in lockdown is because I've let both go (well I still exercise but I no longer rush around all day from work, to school, to meetings).

I've known someone for 30 years who I thought was naturally slim (and she is to some extent), but she would still be classed as having disordered eating.

And there are plenty of people with full blown eating disorders who you wouldn't know from their social media posts.

[veryvery]

You're welcome @whatisheupto .

[Jemenfouscompletement]

One of my closest friends who's a serious runner would give most people the impression she's uninterested in/goes to no effort for her own slimness, but she was hospitalised for an eating disorder in her teens and she's admitted to me that she runs as much as she does purely in order to facilitate eating roughly what she likes without gaining weight.

I've never had an eating disorder, but am a serious runner and have to say one of the reasons is to eat more than would otherwise be possible at my age. I'm definitely a disordered eater.1400 calories isn't a lot and with running at least 10 miles a day that goes up to around 2100. Still not a huge amount but better! I also love running as a sport, it isn't just for the calorie burn. It also encourages you to keep an eye on your weight as a few extra kilos mean you run less fast.

[whatisheupto]

@veryvery If I have a craving for something I have decided I shouldn't eat I look at my watch. Then look again in about 5 minutes. I would have eaten the food by then if I had decided to give into the craving. Sometimes I pretend to myself I've actually eaten it.

This is amazing. I have a feeling that would work on me. Thank you!

[Narrows]

a large percentage of slim women, like myself, maintain their slimness by some form of disordered eating. From people I know, this is especially true of those who remain slim in middle age.

This is widely accurate in my experience, even in women who are not the type to discuss diets or go in for the rhetoric of 'naughty carbs' etc. One of my closest friends who's a serious runner would give most people the impression she's uninterested in/goes to no effort for her own slimness, but she was hospitalised for an eating disorder in her teens and she's admitted to me that she runs as much as she does purely in order to facilitate eating roughly what she likes without gaining weight.

I also know someone else very thin who exercises obsessively and has two very low-calorie blended vegetables meals a day purely in order to her phrasing 'save the calories for drink.'