Please help...desperate :( problems with food addiction :-(

[user1496778897]

Hello

I'm 35 and we are planning our first baby in the next three months.

This is so difficult for me to write...but I think I have a serious issue with food. I'm in a really dark and miserable place.

I am addicted (I think) to foods which are 'bad' - high calorie and high fat. What most people would deem a food treat or a blow out - I am having these nearly every day.

I thought it was an issue with will power...however, although it's hard to admit...this feels like it is completely out of my control. I feel I have absolutely no control over the urges to eat these foods. Every night, after a blow out I say to myself 'that is it!! No more!!' but by the next day...I'm doing the same thing again.

I think, 'oh I want to eat something really nice!' And before I know it, I've bought what I want and have eaten it. What follows is me feeling like this - disgusted with myself and guilty.

I go to slimming world but that only motivates me for a few days before I'm back to my old ways. I have lost 2lbs in total over two months because I can't control myself around food.

Tonight I sat crying in the car outside the supermarket. I didnt want to go in and buy 'bad' food. I was shouting at myself not to give in to the urge but then I found myself going in the supermarket and as if on autopilot, bought lots of bad food and ate the lot.

I am not far off 15 stone. I am tall and 'hide it' well but if I didn't exercise as much as I do, the reality is I'd be a lot bigger.

Does anyone have any experience around this? It would not be ideal to have a baby at this weight. I am desperate to get some weight off as soon as possible.

There isn't much in the way of therapy and support groups around where I live.

Has anyone got any tips for staying motivated. Can't continue to go on like this :-( xx

[Emorris77]

This really moved me! I totoslly understand and it make sense to make sure you are healthy before giving up your body to a new resident ☺️☺️ Good luck by the way! I would love to talk to you about what your goals are and how we can help change that mindset! I used to be the same, bar and chocolate or three 😜 And a bottle of wine every night! Diet pills and dieting don't work properly as they always have a yo yo effect, I have been on a nutritional system which helped me lose from 11st 1 to now 9.8 in less than two months! It works on filling your body with the nutrients needed to absorb the right food and break down fat! I would love to tell you more if anyone is interested!! Xx

[GoingRogue]

fishonabicycle thank you so much - looks fab

[fishonabicycle]

I've just been looking at a really interesting web site - posted somewhere else. I think it's eatlikeanormalperson.com. You might find it helpful.

[GoingRogue]

Hello, just did a search on food addiction and this thread popped up.

Just wondered how you are a doing now? I don't have a kindle but dh does, so thinking of asking him to sort out this book for me (I can't stop thinking about food all day, snackingn gaining weight etc and it's taking over my life).

[user1496778897]

Good luck, Ellie

I think it's already working......you can see where it's coming from by the sounds of it :-D

Yeah....you might be right there..it might well be the pig trying to corrupt you....'oh don't put that on the list. I NEED that!' I think it might be still in control if you're finding it hard to put them on your list.

Perhaps a blanket ban on all junk food may help....the book says some people can't believe that would be sustainable, however, why can't it be? There was loads of other 'nevers' we adhere to in our lives xx

I think with food addiction...the only way out really is to break the cycle with the naughty foods.

My pig said to me the other day (obviously losing power), 'ok well you can get to target weight and then I can't wait to have a day of eating anything I want because I'll deserve it after shifting all those pounds!'

Also - knowing about the pig has made me a lot more aware of triggers....I can hear it after exercise, after a hard week at work, on special occasions etc etc!

Would love to know how you got on :)

[Ellieboolou27]

Thanks user, I think I need to stop letting the pig deter my list of never's!
I've got my kindle on charge so I can read some more tomorrow.
I am a bit scared but I'm starting to see that it's the pig in me that's trying to put me off setting up my lists.
Will let you know how I get on, thank you so much, I really think this is going to be the one that works for me.
I like the simplicity of it and also the psychology behind it. Im looking forward to reading some more, if not finish it by tomorrow

[user1496778897]

Ps when I get that thought now...'I want gorgeous/fatty food in masses of volume' I go, 'ah ha! I know what this is! It's pig squeal!' 😂 xx

Also...what helped me was when I saw such thoughts as a symptom of an illness (food addiction) and said to myself, 'that thought is a symptom of this illness...it's trying to trick me into a binge again. The only way to break this cycle is not to feed it (literally!)' xx

[user1496778897]

Hi Ellie
So pleased!
My 'nevers'.....I kept it very simple and made a slight adaptation as well:

Nevers include all junk food:

ice cream
Crisps
Chocolate
Pasties
Desserts
Chips
Takeaways
Bread (and real butter!)
And many more.

I consider these 'never' foods because I don't want my brain to think it's only a matter of time until I can have them again (which is what my brain/pig always did which led to me just going back to binge eating after weight loss and putting all the weight and more back on).

Also...I will 'never' have anything that is outside the 'syns' of my food plan (I'm doing slimming world (properly now 😂) alongside).

So good to talk about this - thank you for joining in! Xx

[Ellieboolou27]

I'm reading the book user trying to control the inner pig, only a quarter way through it but feeling more in control already, cam I ask what your "nevers" are? I am frightened to put anything down on that list so far!
Thank you for starting this thread it has been so helpful.

[user1496778897]

I understand, Didi :( horrible to feel out of control. I worried about that when I first posted too....how far is this gonna go?
Glad mfp is going well...Could you also get hold of the book I posted above? It's a free download (anxious for others to read it!) I've lost 8lbs since reading it as haven't had any desire to binge since and know I won't again xx
Totally get you with the 6 chocolate bars - I used to think, 'how can someone just eat one of them?!'
xx

[Didiplanthis]

I am the same. I buy treats 'for the children' then eat 6 fudge bars with a cup of tea ! Of course I know it's bad but I can't stop it, every week for years I have started over. And failed. Am trying mfp currently. Done a week and it's been good so far. I look back to when i wished my size 12 jeans fitted, then it was my 14s then my 16's. I am scared it wont stop....

[user1496778897]

Hi again :)

The book was a free download called 'Never Binge Again' by Glenn Livingston. I got it off amazon for kindle.

I'm sure I read a review that said it was an 'un-ladylike approach' to binge eating which I think is true...but I am so excited for anyone else on here who struggles with this as this book has been a life saver so far. I literally read it and never binged again and I know I won't ever again.

There isn't even any hard work to do...I just adopted the very simple method and that was it.

It was my boyfriend's birthday and I thought...ah! Now I have a good reason to binge on goodies and cake but the learnings from the book stopped me dead in my tracks and I did not binge.

I'm still definitely going to engage with therapy as that can't do any harm.

Please, please get the book. If it's a free download - there's nothing to lose apart from weight xx

Would love to know how others get on with it if they try it. I'll also update once I'm in therapy xx

[aliphil]

Also I find swapping for healthy choices, which people often suggest to me, completely pointless. If I'm craving chocolate, I want chocolate and raisins or whatever are not going to cut it!

[aliphil]

Would also appreciate the name of the book as I have similar problem - but don't exercise apart from walking to school and back. Can't seem to stop buying junk food, can't face a diet that will stop me eating bread or cheese as a lot of them seem to, don't have the discipline to weigh/measure everything I eat. Basically I want to be thinner but eat what I want and not have to exercise ... hmm.

[Ellieboolou27]

Fantastic update op!!!!
That takes some real courage, I'd love to know the name of the book of you can your welcome to pm me the name.

Having myself struggled with binge eating and food obsessions all my life, I know how difficult coming to terms with it is.
Good luck

[totaldiva]

Amazing! Well done! I'd really appreciate you telling us the name of the book?

Good luck with the therapy.

[user1496778897]

Hi there, All
Just a quick note to say THANK YOU so much for all the comments and being there for me.

I greatly appreciate the support.

Well...I've lost half a stone since I posted this...! The day after posting, I read a book about food addiction (a free one off amazon) and I haven't binged since. I also phoned my GP the day after I posted and was surprised when they referred me over to an eating disorder place. I had my assessment last Thursday...explained that I think I'd cracked it from the book but I wanted to have some therapy in case there were any slip ups. They agreed so I'll be going to a clinic in the next couple of weeks.

Exercise has calmed down a little...trying to take it easy.

Feeling a lot better.

If I'm allowed I'll post the title of the book although it's name escapes me right now.

THANK YOU once again. Feeling in control xx

[MyOtherProfile]

I second what Red said about calorie counting. I started on 1st May because I was eating anything and everything. I would think nothing of eating a whole pack of biscuits with a cup of tea in an afternoon and then raiding the kids snack box for several chocolate bars in the evening. I've had absolutely no will power and it felt self destructive. Then I started using an app to log my food and exercise and it's had a massive impact on me. I'm now recording everything I eat and am rest shocked to see how much I was eating. It's acted as a great big brake. Now that I can see how many calories I'm consuming I've really cut down on the crap. I can't explain why it has worked but it really has. I've kept it up for almost 6 weeks now and I feel my attitude has really changed. I eat lots or veg now to keep the calories low, and then protein.

[cupthejunction]

I could have written your post. I would say that diet and slimming clubs won't work for you because it's an actual addiction.
You would benefit as I did from Overeaters anonymous, its a 12 step programme for people with overeating disorders.
I wish you the very best. You can do this with the help of other addicts one day at a time.

[Lobsterquadrille2]

Hi OP, the way you describe your eating sounds very similar to my alcohol addiction when it was active. I would wake up full of hope and totally determined that I wouldn't cave in, and would invariably "fail" and then beat myself up for lack of willpower etc. The difference is that we need food to stay alive so an outright block isn't possible.

I've been in AA for over nine years and have found it amazing. I have several close friends in the fellowship who also attend OA - one friend has lost 10 stone through meetings, understanding that their eating is emotionally charged and effectively group CBT. I can't recommend it personally and it may not work if you are a "measure of 1oz of cheese and weigh your slice of bread" type of person, but the principle idea is to look at why you are eating for any reason other than the enjoyment that you should be getting from food.

[IWantABlueBanana]

How tall are you op? 15 stone IS a lot, you'll nevertheless get loads folk on here talking bout them being 15st and being 'fine'.

I've no experience of being overweight but a visit to gp is a good idea, maybe some cbt is essential to understand and break the habit?

[bluejelly]

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Food obsession is so hard to resist because it is around us all the time. And our society is constantly tempting us to eat crap.
Have you ever had any counselling?

[Ellieboolou27]

Oh and I lost around 2 1/2 stone before each of my pregnancies, then put 3st on AFTER giving birth
Ive got two dd's now and battling with this 3st for the last time!