This has to be a turning point... anyone with me?

[Ottosaurus]

Today I saw a picture of myself and I am a fat, tired, unkempt middle age mother... I can't hide from the cold hard truth anymore.

I don't remember who I was before the children.
I need to lose weight (& find the motivation and stop with all the pretending)
I need to either find a way to cope with the sagging skin on my stomach or just deal with it.
I need to care for myself.
I need to sort my hair out
I need to bother with make up...
Actually I could do with using a mirror every now and then.
I could do with some treats.
I need to be a wife and me again
I need to change.

I don't want to live another month like this. As while I've lost me, if you flicked through any photos, you would think I never spent any time with the children as I spend most of my time avoiding the camera (& the truth).

I'm saying this out loud (well anonymously on a forum ) because I have to face it and make it real. Yes, all of the above is true.

So I will change. I'm going to start tomorrow.

Am I alone?

Nope.

On the same journey.

Tackle one habit at a time.

This will give you confidence and motivation to tackle the next.

So this week get your hair done and work out a simple make-up routine.

Stick with it for a month and plan carefully how you want to loose weight.

What has worked for you in the past?

Is you basic eating fine - just too many snacks/wine? Could you cut thiese out/down? Would tweaks to your diet work? Tackle breakfasts for a month, then lunches, the evening meals? What and when are your danger periods if you over eat?

Positive thinking is required - little steps every day.

Thanks for the reply...
Luckily my hair is booked with a new hairdresser....

My danger time is after the children are in bed, I binge on sweet and calorific foods. I'm tired by then but I have to do additional hours for work so I do it to keep going. I may try forcing myself to drink a pint of water instead to make it more difficult to snack? I've tried cutting sweets out but lapse after a week.

I think I see food as a reward and I need that to change.

Food wise I think low carb works for me. The only challenge is then I have a "bit" off the children's plates and pretend I don't.

If I am honest, I secretly and compulsively eat. Not so serious for it to be a disorder but serious enough for me to know it is now a big issue.

I'm reading a book by Gillian Riley at the moment which deals with addictive eating and aims to shift your perception from losing weight to eating less. It's called something like "say goodbye to overeating". I think it will probably help you to have a look at it

Thank you fool me, I used to read so much now I can barely muster the energy! So I think making an effort to make an effort might reignite another spark I'll give it a go

No useful tips to offer but just to say that I know exactly how you feel and I am exactly the same. I like the idea of small steps as at the moment everything feels so overwhelming. Maybe today I will think about a minimal make up routine.

Today I have done my hair in front of a mirror and have decided to focus on food greyandgrumpy what will you be doing?

Out to lunch with in laws so not sure food is a realisable one for me so I shall wear a bit of lipstick swop my flip flops and leggings for a summer dress and wedges. I've booked a hair appointment for Friday 😃

I'm on a similar journey.

The weight has been coming off (I'm on the "lose a stone" thread) and would dearly love tips on the 'what to do about the baggy crepey tummy' (keyboard tried to change that to 'creepy' and I think it has a point!)

Hair continues to be a problem too - fine and dead straight it just looks like curtains. How come mine looks lank and dull, when others blessed with similar look fine (eg Victoria Coren-Mitchell, Claire Danes, Cameron Diaz)?

I think at our age hair is the priority.....this has to be where you invest.

Quality hairdresser does my cut and colour every 6 weeks (wet cut cut afford a blow dry!). It costs £60 - ie £10/week or £1.50 a day...which is a lot less that the choc and wine that I have compulsively ate in the evenings which put me 4st over weight. I have just started a VLCD on day 11 (have lost 12.5lb).

I used to do the colour myself but too much grey now, so professionals are required. People always now comment on my hair, even say I have "young" hair! I also feel sitting in the hairdressers for 2hrs a real treat - reading trashy mags.

My make up routine is fine when I am going to work - but I must remember to put a brush thru my hair, brush my teeth, wash and moisturise my face before I go out on my early morning dog walk as inevitably I bump into my neighbours and give them a fright.

My non work clothes are shocking - dodgy trainers, tracky bottoms, cheap super market tops - as my obese weight means I think that I dont deserve decent clothes....or there is no point. My sister pointed out that the reverse should be true - I should be investing in quality clothes that are more flattering to my weight....but I always think the weight is temporary.

Evening eating is my downfall so for my VLCD I have kept two of my "meals" until then - which means I am really full and not hungry then. My magic bullets are boiled eggs - only 100 cals - two soft boiled eggs keeps me full for the evening.

OP, I am on the half a stone in May thread.

For me, mindless eating in the evening is a big problem - well one of them anyway,

I am now trying to drink 2lts of water a day and not eat anything other than a banana and herbal tea after my dinner.

Good luck and try not to be hard on yourself. Small changes each week add up to big changes over time

Thanks everyone... small changes it will be, but I want to be feeling better by summer.
Auntiestella I fear only a tummy tuck would sort mine and while I'm undecided about number 3 that is out.

Great domestic I do think water will help. Tomorrow is my new beginning...

Popple, I'm going to throw myself at the mercy of my stylist and beg for help.. I shall update! I will also eat later, good suggestion.

Popple 12 5lb is amazing....
I'm all prepped to start that tomorrow

Hair done... it's going to take some getting used to! Diet... low carb day one v successful. I managed to resist the sweet temptation.. I will do this.

Had some news today which normally would have me reaching for sweet stuff but have coped relatively well. I've not even cried!

How many days before it becomes a habit?