I need to lose weight desperately.

[starshaker]

I know why im overweight. I eat to become somebody who nobody would look twice at. I wanted to be invisible to men to protect myself. Now im huge and have managed to find an amazing guy who sees past how i look but im scared 1 day he will wake up and see what i see.

I have so much to lose. I have got my justice in a strange sort of way and now i want to look ok for me. I want to lose 8 stone. All i want is to be happy and to not hate what i see

[Tansie]

talkin - I'd also heard that 5:2 can be highly successful and I can see that it definitely works for many people! I'd be gnawing the bum off a low flying duck, myself, if I were on it!

[Sleepwhenidie]

Please don't do the gastric band either, it can have so many horrible knock on effects - and it won't do anything for the other issues you have to deal with. I am sure you can do it without such drastic measures. Good luck

[starshaker]

Thank you all for the advice. Im gonna give the PK a good go (havent snacked in 2 days). I was getting to the point that i was going to look at an actual gastric band but with kids its not really practical and i would need to change what i eat anyway to i want to do it without getting too drastic

[TalkinPeace]

tansie
sorry, did not mean to think I was being rude to you.
I was hacked at the twonks spamming all the threads about juice diets

I know that fasting does diddly squat for some people (Mintyy is one) and sets off eating disorders in others and conflicts with medication in others
BUT
we all know that much of the "nutrition advice" in recent years was funded by the likes of coca cola

for middle ages types like me, 5:2 has been a revelation when all other ways of not getting any fatter had failed.

[Tansie]

talkin- Quote the OP "I did actually try a juice diet a couple years ago and ended up putting on a stone."

I certainly 100% haven't suggested she's not clever enough to realise that juicing is a stupid fad so there's no need to be patronising. Many people often in desperation resort to far whackier diets than juicing, and yes, we can all become a bit messianic about 'what worked for us', implying that 'therefore it'll work for you'.

[TalkinPeace]

Sleepwhenidie
Bigchofrenzy is the science geek on the 5:2 threads, but no, sugar fluctuations are not an issue - mainly because the fasting / meals / breaks method of eating stabilises the whole system at a lower level so there is no peak and thus no trough.

There are a couple of people with PCOS who have been successful on the threads and a former colleague tried fasting (cleared happily by her doctor) to ease the bloating.

The 'thing' with the fasting is that it resets the whole insulin system to work much more efficiently - a couple of posters have actually ceased being Type 2 diabetic through fasting
and loads of research shows its great for stuff like IBS

exactly the opposite of all thefood company sponsored guidance of the last 30 years

starshaker
Bigchocfrenzy is mad as a hatter bless her, but she's amazing at finding science papers for just about anything - feel free to start a thread and pick her brains.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Is that right Talkin? I'm not an expert but my understanding was low carb/low GI was preferable, that with PCOS it is important to avoid large fluctuations in blood sugar levels (wouldn't fasting create big dips?) that disrupt the hormonal balance...or maybe that is just from a health/fertility pov as opposed to weight loss....probably worth a bit of research in the context of your goals and circumstances if you are drawn towards fasting Star.

[TalkinPeace]

Ah, starshaker you did not mention you have PCOS : immediately give yourself real break about appearance.
Weight loss will be harder work (but really worth it).
Interestingly there is some evidence that fasting (the 5;2 method is the trendy one) helps massively with the bloating of PCOS and helps weight loss to stay off.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Excellent endorsement Star . Well done on your 2lbs!

[starshaker]

I did actually try a juice diet a couple years ago and ended up putting on a stone. I only did it for 2 weeks but supposedly its not good for people with pcos. From last wed ive lost 2lbs so petty pleased with that

[TalkinPeace]

Sleep ditto
Tansie I am pretty sure OP is bright enough to understand that a faddy diet will not put her head into the happy place.

[Tansie]

Juicing doesn't 're-educate'. New 'ways of eating' (WOE) do. You cannot and will not live on juice for the rest of your life. By all means do a week of juicing to kickstart your resolve but it cannot be more than that.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Please don't go on any stupid juice diets star. Juiceplus I have reported your thread as you are clearly only on mn to advertise.

[MrsLundyBancroft]

star I've just joined the paul mckenna thread and they're all lovely there if you fancy coming across? I can't link as I'm on my phone

[TalkinPeace]

starshaker
Well done on such a positive series of steps already.

as MrsLundy and Sleep so rightly say, being a particular size will not make you happy in itself.
Being lighter may make you healthier long term
but if you have not got your head in a good place it will be battling with yourself and yoyoing.
As your head sorts out, and yoga and pilates are GREAT for body and brain, the endocrine system feedbacks will get your body to the "happy weight" for you - whatever that might turn out to be.

[starshaker]

Paul McKenna purchased so gonna see how that goes.

[Sleepwhenidie]

mrslundy you've hit the nail on the head - being slim doesn't make you happy (it probably makes you a little high because of your new smaller jeans maybe , but not truly happy). Another way to think about it is, as far as it is possible, live how you would as the 'ideal weight you' will, now. Don't put off dating, wearing nice clothes and make-up, looking after your skin and hair, participating in social events or exercise classes, learning a new skill or hobby - just do it all now...it improves self-esteem and happiness and becomes self-fulfilling. Life doesn't suddenly begin/massively improve when you reach that magic number you've picked as the one where it will . Good luck.

[MrsLundyBancroft]

star much of what you say resonates with me. I have tried and tried over the years and I just have ended up bigger than ever. I have five stone to lose which would see me under the recommended maximum for my height by 4lbs. I have bought the Paul McKenna book on a hypnotic gastric band and listened to it for the first time last night. I'm sceptical but also optimistic, if that makes sense? I definitely second the recommendations to obtain specialist counselling - in our area there's a charity called Savannah which specialises in counselling following sexual assault. The hypnotherapy method also encompasses some emotional trigger reprogramming which I expect to find very useful.

Finally, when I envisage myself as I would wish to be, I am happy. It has taken me a long time to realise that I'm not happy because I am slim. I am slim (in this visualisation) because I am happy.

Good luck. My task is not a small one either so I'll be around for a bit if you need hand holding

[starshaker]

Thank you all. I'll look into CAT. I'm kinda hoping PUPPY will help too ;-). Just waiting on her being born.
I will get better.
I managed to quit smoking 2 years ago so I know that somewhere I have some will power.
I tried yoga and meditation yesterday so hopefully that will help too. I just want to be average. Not beautiful not pretty just average. I don't even want to be skinny id be more than happy with a 14.

[TalkinPeace]

All up, I suspect we all agree that OP is somebody who needs and deserves shed loads of hugs and support to get hear head better able to compartmentalise the shite that went before
the weight is very much a symptom, not a cause
and she should get the help she needs to put the past behind her into a compartment that lets her enjoy tomorrow

OP
its odd, people like me without "issues" to explain our greedy weight gain kick ourselves even more when we realise how crap our excuses seem when many people with massive (often undiagnosed) issues achieve amazing things once they get mind and body working together.

You can be amazing. You will be amazing.

[WillieWaggledagger]

CAT may be another option www.acat.me.uk/factsheets/What-is-CAT-brief-guide.pdf - slightly different to CBT

it's used by the eating disorders service (part of the mental health service) in my region (and doesn't just focus on trying to get someone to eat "normally", it looks at psychological triggers, traps etc)

All i want is to be happy and to not hate what i see. this breaks my heart to read. IME if you are happier you like what you see much more, regardless of whether your appearance has changed at all

[Sleepwhenidie]

CBT can be fantastic and help with self esteem etc but it doesn't really examine emotions, I wonder if maybe some rape counselling would be a better place to start, then maybe CBT from there? I expect that there are charities that would provide this free/very cheap as well, probably without referral.

[TalkinPeace]

starshaker
rather than "counselling", request that you get a proper CBT referral : find a practitioner who will REALLY be able to focus on your issues (past, health, current size, wanting to make new relationship work) and rebuild your thought patterns into a happy shape

once your head is going in the right direction, your body will follow