Gratuities for venue - pay or not?

[BricksTricks]

The venue has added £489 to our costs as "optional gratuities". A wedding is already so expensive! I would happily pay in a restaurant when we eat out, but this comes to so much!

Is this a normal request? Have others paid or not?

[GreatGateauxsby]

Its essentially service charge. And while optional i see it as the cost yo do business.

We hired a whole restaurant so paid it as the servers missed out on earning their usual tips otherwise. Hotels are similar.

If i wanted to cut costs it would be elsewhere. Surly wait staff dont make for a well hosted party

[calligraphee]

I would want to ask what the mechanism was for ensuring that got to the hospitality staff.

How many staff will there be?

You can adjust the amount. Is the £489 a percentage of the food or of the whole costs including venue hire? I wouldn't add any gratuity to venue hire.

The alternative is to tip staff with tenners on the day, to be sure it gets to them.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"The alternative is to tip staff with tenners on the day, to be sure it gets to them."

Yes, I think it you want to tip (and you don't have to!) give it straight to the staff.

I've never organised a big family party, but I've done big work meals and for those there is no tip because we're not allowed. Venues are usually happy to be hosting a big group.

[vanillawaffle]

That's for the staff. I'd check how they make sure this goes to the staff that serve you/cook for you on the day. If you're not happy with it don't pay it and pay them in cash.

[showmethegin]

No I've never heard of that as a 2024 bride and it's an absolute joke. With a wedding you are paying for service and staff as part of the price of the day. It's different with a restaurant as you are paying for the meal so obviously this doesn't include service.

There are so many wedding venues taking the absolute piss at the moment. Tell them no way.

[DutyBound]

I had a small wedding at a hotel (evening only) - and hired two rooms (library and private dining room) as part of that 20 years ago. I was a bit surprised to see that the hotel added a 15% [optional] service charge on to the entire bill, including the room hire. I didn't pay it.

[BricksTricks]

The issue as I see it, is that until we have the day, we don't know if the staff will be great or not. To me, a tip is based on actual service. Otherwise it's just the price! That said, i can't see how we would arrange it on the day either, now can I see me handing over £500 either way! I feel really irritated by it TBH, it feels like an imposition.

[CanaryCanary]

Tell the venue that you prefer to tip in cash on the day. Tell one of your bridesmaids or family members to be in charge of distributing whatever amount you do want to tip, and give them the cash in advance. Then you have more control of the amount and the cash goes straight to the servers.

[xyz111]

I've never heard of that. How odd. And how many staff do they actually have working there on your wedding???

[BricksTricks]

@xyz111

I've never heard of that. How odd. And how many staff do they actually have working there on your wedding???

No idea. There will be staff for 2 weddings on the same day; kitchen and other timings are fixed because it is a double venue.