Small wedding- DIY playlist or DJ?

[StrongInside]

Hi,

We are having around 30 guests, including kids, and apart from saving up to £500 by doing the music ourselves, I can’t help but think that it’s silly to hire a DJ for such a small group, especially since around a quarter are older family members who are very unlikely to dance to Calvin Harris etc.

I’m also struggling with the idea of someone else picking our music. We aren’t into 80s music, for example, which usually gets a lot of our friends singing along at parties, but it’s our special day, we are paying for it, so I actually want the music that we like.

On the other hand, making up our playlist is proving very time consuming and tedious, it might not get everyone dancing, and then there is a question of who will be responsible for it. Can anyone who has chosen this route please share their experience? The same goes for those with small weddings and DJs- did it work? What did you do for cocktail hour/meal music?

[heresince2020]

My wedding was a similar size, made up of 38 at the evening (including a few little ones). We were also debating over hiring or going it alone.

We did want a bit of a ceilidh as part of the evening (traditional Scottish wedding 😆) so in the end what we did was hire a small 3-piece ceilidh band. We asked them to do a few small sets of ceilidh/live music during the early parts of the evening. Around this, they selected and played songs from a large playlist of suggested songs we provided them in advance. They took care of setting up and playing music so we didn’t have to bring or set up anything ourselves. They didn’t follow the list exactly as we listed more songs than the hours available for the evening, but they did pick from our list. It worked well as it kept it more of a surprise for us but still heard some of our favourites. We picked from across a number of decades to cater for all ages.

They also announced us into the room, our first dance, evening buffet and called (ran through) the ceilidh dance steps with guests.

We very nearly decided to do it ourselves due to the small size of the celebrations but after realising we’d need someone to watch it all night, have to get a good sound system, some lighting and would possibly let down guests by not providing the entertainment/interaction hiring provides, we picked the perfect balance I think.

Obviously our Scottish ceilidh tradition did factor in to our choice, so I don’t think a band would be necessary for most. We wouldn’t have hired a random band to play covers, I don’t think.

It’s really up to you, but whatever happens I’m sure with drinks and any music everyone will have a good night 😃 try not to worry too much as it’s your day after all and it should be what you want!

[StrongInside]

@Blibbyblobby Ah, I see, I’ll look into Limitlist. I can see some guests hogging it and others not feeling confident enough to strut across the dance floor to the iPad.

@misspiggy19, that’s what I thought but I’m finding it really difficult to come up with a playlist; my choice of music isn’t going to necessarily get people dancing; and I know nothing about creating a good flow. Like @AnchorDownDeepBreath said, atmosphere is what is we need to keep our guests around. Wgat do you think I should do?

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayay I think a jukebox comes preloaded with whole albums and you can only choose what decades or genres it contains, so we wouldn’t be able to block Amy Winehouse or Bohemian Rhapsody. Big sigh, because it sounded cool.

[WarriorsComeOutToPlayay]

Not sure of the average cost of the Juke Box, it depends on the area etc but it is generally cheaper than a DJ.

I think if you are worried about music choices it might not be right for you but I think the guests enjoyment of the evening party is really important too. You can always have some light hearted rules for example (e.g. we had a live band who took requests but were instructed under no circumstances to play anything by Ed Sheeran).

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

We've got 50 people at ours but our venue is including a DJ. We have built our own playlist that the DJ will use, but he'll MC and build the atmosphere, and he'll also build in requests so that people dance and hear music that they like but our wedding isn't dominated by music we don't really like! And creating that flow so that the music sounds good together.

Our venue were really keen that we had a DJ and it wasn't left to a groomsman or the wedding co-ordinator as people get busy and distracted; and atmosphere is going to be what keeps people hanging around and enjoying themselves during the reception.

[misspiggy19]

For 30 guests including babies I really don’t see the point of a DJ at all.

[Blibbyblobby]

One ipad up in the party room

[Blibbyblobby]

I wouldn’t want people on their phones the whole night either, but interesting idea.

Ah no, with limitlist you set one ipad up and people vote there, not on their phones. So a bit like a jukebox except instead of all the choices being there all the time, at any point there's only a few songs to choose between but the choice keeps changing.

[StrongInside]

To add, we like some dance and pop tunes too, like Calvin Harris, Cascada. But it’s not what our friends would normally listen to whenever we have get togethers.

[StrongInside]

@tinselvestsparklepants I’m stuck on 15 songs, we really aren’t into listening to music like we used to so I’m finding it very time consuming to think of songs and even when I look at it, it’s really not going to be a great mix. A lot of our friends listen to the 80s, even though they were only born in that decade, some like rock or rap. I like none of those three, and I do mean none, so I wouldn’t want any of those types of music. I like reggaeton/salsa music, my partner listens to indie. What do we even do??

[StrongInside]

I think there is a PA system at the hotel already and I’m not too bothered about the disco lighting, there will be fairy lights and tealights around so I don’t mind if there aren’t party lights there.

I’m soooo undecided. Found a jukebox hire company, found contact details for DJs. I really can’t justify paying loads for someone to play music when we could put Spotify or something on, MCing can probably be done by the hotel wedding staff (I’ll ask). But then there is the headache of creating hours worth of a playlist to cater to most people’s tastes without neglecting our own. And worrying if there is a good flow in that playlist, and worrying even more about guests messing about with the playlist (the same goes for the jukebox).

@Blibbyblobby Wow, that sounds very high tech, probably too high tech for our crowd! I wouldn’t want people on their phones the whole night either, but interesting idea.

[tinselvestsparklepants]

We had a playlist later in the evening. We did it ourselves - it's not a chore if you start it soon and add songs as you think about it. Alternatively you could ask a friend to do it for you as their present / contribution to the day and just take our tunes you don't like.
Tbh if you're really bothered about what music is played a DJ is probably not a good idea. But when you're there, on the day, you won't notice it as much as you think you will now, I promise! Have a lovely day.

[Blibbyblobby]

There are apps that let your guests vote for music.

We had a band but used an iPad app called Limitlist for before and after. You set up a playlist but instead of fixed songs, in each slot you can have just one song or a selection. Then on the night the app selects which one it will play next but displays the alternates and guests can vote for them. When you vote it takes a picture so you get guest snapshots as well :) it's bit of work to set the list up but it means you can still manage the flow, make sure your key songs will be played.

We used that in 2014, seems like there are more modern apps now that work with Spotify eg Festify so your guests sign up in advance and it generates a playlist based on everyone's listening activity

[CuteOrangeElephant]

@StrongInside I didn't, hence the warning . My husband's cousin was quite persistent.

We hired a great set of speakers and disco lights. We choose songs that we liked with the international audience in mind. I've found 90s music to go down quite well. We alternated songs a bit, so there'd be a couple of quiet songs after dancing songs.

[BumbleBeeFlower]

I did a playlist at my wedding and nobody complained. It just seemed like an unnecessary cost to pay for someone to essentially hit 'play'. However, I did have a full set of DJ lights from a friend at work which automatically moved to the music so it was still a party set up and I had one of my best friends take charge of the kit. One of the wedding staff at the venue did the MCing and he was great so it is worth asking the venue if they have someone who is happy to do that, otherwise I would ask a friend to do that as well.

[almostfreeatlast]

Our wedding is even smaller and we will definitely not have a DJ so I need to get cracking on a playlist! Urghhhhhh

[StrongInside]

@CuteOrangeElephant How did you manage to keep budding DJs out of your hair? Did you choose songs that everyone might like or just your own favourites? Really curious to hear more, here or in PM, if you don’t mind sharing your experience.

I’ve used Apple Music before, I’m guessing Spotify would be similar. I find myself skipping through a lot of songs, is there an option to edit the playlist on Spotify or does it just play all songs? My Mum wouldn’t mind if it’s a case of checking everything is ok now and then.

[jamaisjedors]

It was cool when people's song csnt up, they usually dragged others up to dance.

Or could you just sign up to a music streaming service like spotify and let an automatic playlist run? There are different moods. Someone could be in charge of checking that occasionally?

[CuteOrangeElephant]

We had a bigger wedding with a playlist and it was fine. We had loads of free booze though to distract people.

Just make sure any young aspiring DJs don't mess your stuff up .

The hardest thing is agreeing on the playlist. I must have removed that dreadful Toto song Africa about 10 times!

[StrongInside]

Thanks for all your ideas.

@crustycrab
There won’t be any babies, just toddlers, the youngest being 2, and I still think that the usual level of DJ music like you get at a nightclub would be too loud for them. Plus I actually want to be able to chat throughout the evening.

Magician will entertain us all before and/or during a meal, so I’d still like to keep that idea. There is only so much chatting you can do for 10 hours, and not everyone invited is a drinker, so some entertainment is definitely needed.

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayay Never thought of a jukebox, how much are they on average? My only worry with it would be that the more people drink, the worse the music will get. I don’t want to be bored at my own wedding listening to ‘We Will Rock You’ or something. Or what if our guests choose something my partner or I really hate🤔

We did ask to RSVP with a song that would get them dancing, so far not a single suggestion (but most RSVPs are in!). Oh well, they had their chance😁 I totally understand about catering to everyone’s tastes, not just playing our choice of music all night. I just can’t bring myself to add songs that I hate or feel ‘meh’ about to the list, and I got to about 15 songs before running out of steam. We just aren’t into music all that much, i.e. don’t go to concerts, don’t buy albums, it’s a case of listening to the radio in the car or to a few longtime favourites while working on something. Hmmmm. We aren’t having a bridal party, so it’s not like we can get the Maid of Honour or Best Man to look after the playlist. I feel it’s a huge ask for someone to be on music watch in case equipment fails or something. Is there someone we could hire? Another thought- what does the wedding coordinator do during the reception, are they just somewhere in the hotel if you need them or in the room the whole time? Who ours not look press Play and Shuffle?😬 I feel it may be a very cheeky and stupid question since no one has mentioned this an option, so I’m asking here rather than to the coordinator’s face.

@jamaisjedors What did it feel like when the other people’s choices came up? Did most people dance to everything?

[jamaisjedors]

the guests were asked to choose a song when they rsvp'd and then there was a play list at the wedding of songs everyone liked

I went to a great party like this, everyone rsvp-ed with a favorite song (you could ask for 3) and that was the playlist.

It was fun to hear your choice come up.

[pipnchops]

Wedding jukebox sounds awesome! We've been to weddings where the guests were asked to choose a song when they rsvp'd and then there was a play list at the wedding of songs everyone liked, but the jukebox sounds good! I don't think a DJ is necessary for that small a crowd. Have a great day!

[onanothertrain]

I'd be wary of only playing music you like, or a lounge CD as some of your guests may be bored and desperate to get away.
I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where music was played during the meal, usually its for chatting and getting to know people.
I didn't know a wedding jukebox was a thing, sounds great.

[Sparkletastic]

Do stick it on. Can get a friend to run it or hire someone. Works brilliantly in smaller wedding groups.

[WarriorsComeOutToPlayay]

Also don't be talked out of the magician I had one at my wedding and he was brilliant, got everyone talking and people are still trying to work out how he did the tricks.

[WarriorsComeOutToPlayay]

I think a playlist is possibly a little bit dull but a DJ seems a bit much for 30 people.

Why don't you hire a wedding jukebox? It's great for a smaller crowd and because people are participating in it they are more likely to dance.