Refusing water and finger food

[SilentRefluxAdvicePlease]

Hi all. My daughter is very soon to be nine months. She has always refused a bottle and so until we started weaning her at six months, she was exclusively breast fed. Lots of people said that she would probably transition straight to a cup.
However, she still refuses to drink from a cup after nearly three months of trying. We have tried putting expressed breast milk instead of water in the cup, but she refuses both. We are not ever forcing her to drink, but modelling how to use the cup and trying to at least hold it to her mouth, but she pushes it away with her hands and closes her mouth. On the rare occasion that we have managed to tip the cup enough to get water into her mouth, she is shocked by it and of course will spit a lot out. This is the same whether we use a traditional sippy cup, an open (Doidy) cup or a cup with a weighted straw. At best she will play with the cup and shake it like a rattle.
Additionally, any finger food we give to her ends up on the floor. She will not feed herself but will eat from the spoon well. She is on two meals a day (lunch and dinner) but refuses breakfast (I don’t think she is hungry upon waking as she still feeds overnight). Again, we are modelling how to eat finger foods but she is uninterested. Any advice gratefully welcomed, as I am conscious that we will see the health visitor at 10 months and they are likely to ask about the above. Thank you!

It might be worth seeking some early advice from the health visitor. It may help her appetite if you phase out the night feeds.

Do you offer the water or expressed milk at a similar temperature as breast milk? If it is from the tap or fridge, it might be the cold she is reacting to?

The other thing is that children develop their pincer grip at different rates, so you may need to use a spoon for a while yet. I think this is normal for 9 month olds.

Following as we’re having the same issue with water! My LO is 9 months and enjoys finger food, we started off by giving her a bit of what we were having and eating at the same time. We started off with toast and banana, eating some ourselves and she soon copied us. I know you’ve said you’ve already modelled how to eat finger foods but maybe do it in a more pressure free way? Like rather than focusing on the baby and trying to get her to eat, just put some in front of her and see if she copies you when eating without giving it too much attention

Please don't phase out the night feeds yet, it's not advised before 12 months. You can however not give her the first one in the morning and offer breakfast instead.

I really wouldn't worry too much about her drinking yet. It's pretty morning for a BF baby if this she to drink nothing or very little from a cup and she probably hasn't made the connection yet that a cup can help either thirst just like BM can.

One thing that helped mine to use a cup was giving them a doidy cup with whole Cow's Milk in whilst they were in the bath. I think the novelty helped absorb they were soon drinking. Whole milk is fine at this age as an occasional drink.

Do you spend much time away from her? If DH/DP is around it might be worth sending them out for a couple of hours tomorrow armed with some good and a drink and let them have a Punic in the park.

As fir the finger foods, just keep offering and don't fret, she won't be 25 and still having mashed food

Just carry on and don't worry. She's not going to be off to University needing to be breastfed and spoon fed baby food. She will feed herself and drink from a cup, just give her time.

Cross posted with pumpkin.

Yes blithely ignoring them seems to have the best results so have some finger food ready, like a banana or a blueberry pancake and give it to her in the High Chair whilst you do something else, in the same room obviously, like the washing up or preparing her some mashed food.

@CadyEastman my LO is 14 months and we were advised that babies shouldn't be having whole milk as a drink until after 12 months. Cooked milk is fine, as in having porridge made with milk, but their digestive system is not established enough to have whole milk as a drink. I know guidance seems to be forever changing but this is the current thinking as far as I know 👍

Wrong thread 😂

Guidance isn't forever changing as far as I know. Whole milk as an occasional drink for a BF baby has been ok for years. Agree that it's shouldn't be their main milk drink but one or two ounces, occasionally for a BF baby has been fine for at least a couple of decades. If you've got a link so I can read up on the new advice that would be lovely.

Sorry forgot to copy the post or tag in the poster. For avoidance of doubt I was replying to @Starrysky812.

Thanks @CadyEastman
All NHS website pages that I've seen about weaning say that cooked cows milk is fine before 1 but that babies shouldn't be drinking straight up cows milk till after 1.
This site also has good detail about rationale for why that is advised but I understand WebMD might not be the most accurate site!
www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/cows-milk-for-babies

It's also in all the literature I got from my health visitor and she repeatedly emphasised that we shouldn't be giving DD cows milk to drink till after she was 1.

All of that though is referring to the main milk drink for babies under 12 months.

Nobody is suggestion that the OP swaps all milk feeds to Whole Cow's Milk, just to try LO with a little on a cup in the bath occasionally.

@CadyEastman I'm not meaning to be disagreeable. Of course it's up to any parent to choose what to feed their child and when. The guidance I have been given by my health visitor and at local authority baby groups I attended last year with DD is that children under 1 shouldn't be drinking any cows milk. They can have it cooked in food but shouldn't be having any as a drink - main drink or occasional drink. I'm in Scotland though so perhaps guidance is different here to other parts of the UK.

It's probably just to deter parents from offering it as a main drink. I come from a fairly deprived area where it was normal to feed whole milk from a very early age as the main drink and to offer solids early too. The youngest I've known was 12 weeks.

Most BFCs will tell you that if you're away from your baby, ie you've gone out for the night or you're at work, the odd drink of Cow's milk is fine.

@CadyEastman gtk 👍 it makes sense.

@CadyEastman 12 weeks though! That's young

Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to reply. Will definitely use the suggestion of offering the cup in the bath! And my main takeaway is, don’t worry. Probably the best advice for all things parenting!