9 month old still not eating

[RedHerring24]

I've posted before about DD and my worries regarding weaning.
A little background, she has CMPA and silent reflux which she is taking medication for and has prescription formula.
We started weaning at 6 months but she never seemed interested in food.
We perservered with purees of fruit and veg for a while and just found she is a spoon refuser so we offered chunks of the food alongside this.
She will happily pick up the food and bring it to her mouth, taste it and thats it.

We have hit the 9 month mark and I dont really feel we have got further. While she tries anything put in front of her, 90% of it is spat out and she is just not tucking into food like other babies her age.
We spoke to our HV a week ago who basically told me that I am the reason for her not eating solids because I am over feeding her milk and consequently should cut out 2 bottles from her day.
For context, she is on 4X 7oz bottles a day. They are always offered AFTER solids. I always make sure she is brought to the table hungry to encourage eating but she simply doesnt.
She doesnt always finish a bottle either so some feeds she may have 4 or 5oz only.
Ive always been lead to believe 'food before 1 is just for fun and the majority of nutrients come from milk'. Being told to halve her milk to force her to eat seems a bit wrong?
We have tried everything to encourage her to tuck in but now I am just at a loss.
I feel I have done something wrong and set her up for a lifetime of poor eating habits.

Anyone have any words of wisdom?

[houseofboy]

Hang in there, weaning can be hard. Have 2 and they are different first loved for be spoon fed second refused. Also found some things like the Ella's kitchen melty sticks both mine loved and starting a meal with them sometimes encourages them to eat other things.
I'm not sure about the cutting milk down, I like you did solids first so they are hungry but not sure you can make them eat solids by cutting down milk. I did a meal then milk and then a bottle at bed time which I'm guessing is probably what you are doing.
You sound like you have really tried lots of things so don't take it personally it will get easier ( in our house we often say 'this too shall pass' with various stages).
Not sure if any of that was helpful but didn't want to read and run.

[RedHerring24]

Thanknyou for replying @houseofboy .
We are doing exactly what you saod, bottle befote food then one before bed. Although we havent introduced a 3rd meal yet as to be honest, im struggling to see the point when nothing is consumed but want to for the 'routine'.

Im so miffed by the HV telling us to withold milk. Personally it goes against all things logical to me. Im sure if my DD wanted to scoff food, she would have started doing that by now of her own accord? We have been trying solidly for 3 months. Halving her nutritional intake surely is dangerous if she isn't going to feed on solids?

Ive been hoping that something will just click one day and she starts eating but so far no such luck.
How old were yours when they actually ate properly?

[PritiPatelsMaker]

Do you think that she may have a food aversion @RedHerring24. It can happen when they have allergies.

Have you seen a Paediatric Dietitian yet?

[RedHerring24]

@PritiPatelsMaker I looked up food aversion before and nothing she is doing seems to match the typical behaviours children can present with. Obviously not ruling it out though

The HV agreed to a dietician referral but has stated it is not likely to be accepted as it is not a severe case? I'm hoping we will get an appointment. I did do a bit of digging and apparently the wait times are 6months plus currently!

[PritiPatelsMaker]

Poor little thing. I have CMPA and can remember being extremely wary of new foods when I was little.

[RedHerring24]

@PritiPatelsMaker the weird thing is she is so interested in food. She will happily pick up anything we offer her and pop it right in her mouth. She will gum at it for a while, roll it around her mouth then spit it out.
Her reflux symptoms havent worsened which I was really worried about and there is very little gagging.
I just feel like ive failed massively as a parent.

[PritiPatelsMaker]

She doesn't have Tongue Tie does she? My DS had TT and wanted food but could only manage smooth purées.

[Cormoran]

food before 1 is just for fun is only ever said on MN and is far from true.

What have you tried giving her? Can you give some examples of food offered?

Does she know how to chew, move food in mouth and swallow?

In France, weaning couldn't be more different. We are advised to start with soups that are very liquid to start with and then increase in texture until you have small pieces. Paediatricians insist on food tasting good. They explain how to make a rich broth in which you cook baby pasta , then add real parmesan cheese and a tiny knob of butter. They explain how to only load a quarter of the spoon to begin with and that the first foods must be very wet until baby masters mastication which releases saliva that will lubricate food .

There isn't this distinction between spoon and finger foods.The rule is you use spoon for food for which you would use a spoon as adult, a fork for small pieces and the hand for food usually eaten by hand such as a piece of bread or a blueberry. .

Do you have her close to you in her high chair whilst you cook and prepare meals.

No food or drinks whatsoever should be given in the two hours before meals. Not a single piece of food or juice or milk. Just water. The stomach releases several hormones when empty that stimulates appetite. Even just a mouthful of any food will shut down the release of these hormones.

Do you give her industrial baby food such as melty puffs, rusks, and other highly palatable ultra processed snacks ?

[TheProvincialLady]

Please don’t worry. Neither of my children were at all interested in food until they were past 12 months. My youngest gave us quite a bit of worry but all in vain….they have both been very hearty, healthy and enthusiastic eaters for many years.

Keep offering tasty, home cooked, normal food. Make sure she gets the milk she needs and begin reducing the amount slowly once she is nearer 12m.

I felt like a failure too when my boys wouldn’t eat. You aren’t and nor was I. There is no difference between my friends’ babies who ate everything at 8m and my sons who didn’t. The toddler years alone will change many of those enthusiastic eaters into fusspots. You are not to blame for having done weaning ‘wrong’. If it was so difficult and so vital to do it a certain way the human race would long since have died out.

[SpicePearl]

I was exactly like you when my DS was nine months, he wasn’t interested and barely ate anything. Total milk monster. It just took time and it’s totally normal and fine! Main thing that did seem to help a bit was all eating together at the table so he could mimic what we did. He’s 4 now and still a cautious eater but has a really varied diet and a good appetite.

[RedHerring24]

@PritiPatelsMaker she did have a tongue tie when she was born (missed at the hospital despite us being worried about her feeding). It was rectified when she was a couple of weeks old. Ive questioned whether it could have reattached but she seems to have good tongue movement now and you can see her tongue mlving when there is food in her mouth.

@Cormoran we have offered pureed, mashed and chunks of veg and fruit including sweet potato, cauliflower, broccoli, carrot, parsnip, cucumber, pepper, squash, potato, mushroom, beans, melon, strawberry, raspberry, banana, orange, blueberry, blackberry, mango, pineapple.
She has had beef (steak and mince), chicken, pork, white fish, lamb.
She will be offered things like porridge and weetabix which is a no no, toast with different toppings.
We give her a smaller portion of whatever we are having for dinner.
I dont think there is alot outside out diet she hasnt had to be honest.
She will move food around her mouth but i question her ability to chew. We have demo'd this to her in a very exaggerated way which she finds hilarious. When she does swallow it sounds more of a gulp if that makes sense? Almost like she is having to force it down? She has no trouble drinking from an open cup.
She is in the highchair when we prepare breakfast and lunch but we havent added in dinner for her just yet but she is always there when we cook.
We dont offer anything between meals. So as an example she may wake at 7am, offered breakfast, a short play then milk. 3-4hours later offered lunch and again a short play before milk. We dont offer snacks or additional milk.
She has tried melty puffs (we got some free) and this is one of the very few things she will eat completely. Hence we dont give them now as i dont want her to only want to eat them.
We havent offered any other processed snacks.

[RedHerring24]

@TheProvincialLady @SpicePearl thanknyou bith for the reassurance. Its good to hear of others who have been in a similar boat and got through it!
Its hard when you speak to friends with kids and they are shocked by how little DD consumes as their kids demolish anything and everything put in front of them.
Im hoping something will click and she decides that food isnt too bad after all.

[PritiPatelsMaker]

@RedHerring24 I'd see if you can get it checked again. You could see DS' Tongue move when there was food in his mouth but it was almost like it was too much trouble to eat.

[RedHerring24]

@PritiPatelsMaker can I ask, what happened with your Son? Did he have issues with eating as well and what was the outcome?

[PritiPatelsMaker]

At 1 he started accepting more than super smooth purées but it was still difficult. He also had speech therapy and tears of disturbed sleep. Unfortunately the TT wasn't picked up until he was 4. This is why I always suggest that Parents get it divided

[RedHerring24]

It wasnt picked up until he was 4?! Thats pretty poor.
We really had to push about our concerns for tongue tie. We spoke to every healthcare professional possible within the first few weeks and nobody seemed bothered as her latch looked ok.
We paid a private lactation consultant in the end for advice and she spotted a severe posterior tie and snipped it.

[SassyPants87]

@RedHerring24 i know this is an older post but wondering how your little one got on with weaning? My boy is 9 months and exactly the same although he also hates milk. He’s only small (9th percentile) so we were hoping food would be the magic answer and so far it hasn’t been :(

[RedHerring24]

@SassyPants87 things did finally improve for us! DD is now 19months old and eats well!
She was still struggling with her feeding at about 11 months. We had a dietician referral about her CMPA at about 10months old and I brought it all up then. Dietician wasn't even a slight bit worried, said all children get there eventually, some just focus on other things first. DD was more interested in trying to walk than eating!
She walked at 11.5months and then all of a sudden started eating everything!
It was like someone flipped a switch and she just went for it!
We continued to offer her 3 meals and stopped worrying when she didn't eat any.
Once the pressure was off I felt better.

Sitting down together as a family really encouraged her to tuck in.
The other thing that helped was when she started nursery at a year old. Seeing other children eat encouraged her to join in.
She now absolutely loves a curry (Thai or indian) and rice (home made, she doesn't get takeaways!).

The best advice I can give is not to worry. Only be concerned if his weight drops.
Keep offering meals and then milk after. Try to set regular meal times and not stress about it.
I wish I had taken note of this before as I put so much pressure on myself.
I'm sure he will be fine, you're doing an amazing job 😊