Please explain the best way to wean in plain English?

[ANormalOne]

My DD is almsot 6 months, she's taking feeds every 1-2 hours now, aside from at night, so I really want to start weaning her.

All of my family are telling me I HAVE to feed her purees and mush as it's the easiest option, the old ways are better and she'll choke on big chunks of food. My HV is telling me I HAVE to do BLW as it's the best option for her, but she can't be weaned until she sits up independently and she can't do that yet.

I've tried mush as there's more of my family to hassle me and they're all bloody annoying know-it-alls and she spits most of it out, gags and generally seems to not be enjoying herself.

Please, for the sake of my sanity, give me some honest, decent, advice on what I should be doing?

[exoticfruits]

I can't say it makes the slightest difference. Mine used both and they were doing it all by themselves at 2yrs anyway- it was no more messy with a spoon than without. Be led by the baby. If they don't like spoons and purée then don't give it to them!

[JosiePosiePuddingAndPie]

My DS used to refuse a spoon at 6m, he hated it and so I found it stressful. I found BLW much easier because it was up to him and he just got on with it. It did make more mess than purée then, but you just get geared up for it and make everything wipe clean! However now it's a different story; DS is 2 and doesn't make mess when he eats any more. At the end of a meal he just gets a face and had wipe and that's it. Some of my friends who were really into purée feeding are still helping their kids eat and have food all up the walls every night, I'm glad I got my mess out the way before they had too much strength and range!

[exoticfruits]

Be led by your baby- they are not all the same- some are happier with purée. Unless you know the particular baby you can't tell - there is no such thing as 'all' babies.

[exoticfruits]

Purée is necessary if the baby prefers it- it is supposed to be baby led! It is hardly that if you ignore the baby!
I eat soup, yoghurt etc- I can't see why the baby has to miss them out- it should be just whatever suits you both. Relax- it really doesn't matter.

[mrsmartin1984]

Purreeing is not wrong, it's unnessesary. At 6 months your baby can feed himself. I am all for the idea of blw. Weaning iis meant to get babies for milk to food. And in my opinion doesn't resemble food. Remember it doesn't matter if she does not eat anything, as long as your feeding her milk as well. It will be a gradual change over.

[Nicknamefail]

Either method is fine, or mix. As others have said, your baby, your choice. You can do blw and do some spoon feeding, we did this for things like yoghurt and dd didn't get confused at all

[MardyBra]

Sorry I missed your reply in the middle of the thread OP. sorry if I came over a bit PA. I hope you get the advice you need.

[RowanMumsnet]

Hi there

We've moved this to 'Weaning' for you now OP.

[MardyBra]

Seriously though. This is not an AIBU.

[BreakOutTheKaraoke]

Oh, and neice has two big brothers who you couldn't spoon feed fast enough. They were starving, would eat anything and everything, and giving them food for them to pick up wasn't fast enough- they wanted a spoon in their mouth NOW! DN was a bit of a shock to the family!

[BreakOutTheKaraoke]

My niece is 9 months(ish) and is only just letting anyone come near her with a spoon. She also seems to dislike typical first foods, pureed fruit, yoghurt, sweeter items. But from 6 months she has enjoyed meat, bread, pasta, eggs, more meat- she is definitely a carnivore!

DN may not eat much, but she was very resistant to purees, and BLW seemed to have been made for her. If your DD is against spoons, you'll only get yourself wound up trying to get her to take it. Give her some cutlery to get used to, and give her some of what you're having. Every now again try her with a bit of yoghurt or porridge, see if she's decided spoons aren't evil yet. They change all the time, she won't get confused if you change between the two.

[Whothefuckfarted]

If the puree is just coming out of her mouth straight away she still has the tongue thrust reflex which means she's not really ready for solids. If she not able to sit independently that's another indicator she's not ready yet. Don't stress and use what ever method you feel most comfy with or a mixture of both puree and BLW (I did this)

Try again in a couple of weeks :)

[NoComet]

The best way to wean,

Whatever, the child will eat more than on spoonful of or take one nibble at is the perfect weaning food.

Honestly after two weeks you will have thrown all books out the window, smiled and nodded at the HV and banned any advice giving relative from the house.

You cannot get babies, toddlers or even 12y to eat what you want them to eat.

Even DH annoyingly, doesn't eat fish.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

DD is the best eater I have ever met (well, best 2 yo eater) and we did a mixture. She was very independent so mostly wanted to feed herself. The best advice is to worry very little. As long as they are having fun and trying new things, it really doesn't matter how much goes in for the next 6 months.

[Thurlow]

Do whatever suits you both. DD didn't like BLW - when she was just starting out she didn't like lumps, chewing, gagging etc., and when she figured out food was filling she wanted it fed to her a hell of a lot quicker than she could do herself.

Just offer a mix - some things can be easily pureed and it only takes a few minutes to do it (veg etc) so try some of them, but also offer anything you're eating that you think your baby might manage. I think 'BLW' should mean letting your baby decide the pace and consistency themselves, so give them the opportunity to try things and decide.

Also, I HATED weaning. I felt I never knew what I was doing and it seemed to take forever with no results. But a lot of babies really don't get it until about 8m, so don't stress, just offer food, and remember that they are getting everything they need from milk so it really doesn't matter at all how much they are eating for a long time.

[AndHarry]

Stop adding salt to whatever it is you cook and give her some of it.

^Weaning in one sentence :o

[pianodoodle]

Sounds like the HV isn't helping actually just saw your other post.

We have never committed to one way only of doing anything other than what seemed sensible to us at the time!

Some days I did a bit of spoon feeding - other days she gummed some soft carrot sticks, other days she just dipped her hands in without a spoon and sucked it off!

[exoticfruits]

You do not have to do one or the other.The aim is just to get your baby to eat family meals- it is a very short period and it really doesn't matter one jot! Do what suits you. If the baby doesn't like it it is hardly baby led!
I would do a mix. All of it is mother led- they decide what to offer and when to offer. The baby decides whether to eat it or not. I think it all comes from a mistaken belief that you can get a spoon of something down if the baby doesn't want it- or that they will eat too much.

[ANormalOne]

Thanks everyone, I think I'm just going to let her play then, it'll be much easier than stressing about it all time.

[CecilyP]

I think you do whatever suit you and your baby best. DS was born when purees were very much the norm but was a spoon refuser while all my friends seemed to be able to shovel large spoons of puree into their enthusiatic babies' mouths. I was worried I would still be BF through the school railings. But then I discovered what was then called finger foods (currently BLW) and DS was much happier as he had contol of what went into his mouth. They don't choke because they are taking tiny bites of what they are holding. I don't think they have to be sitting independently though they do have to be fairly upright but this can be achieved by being in a seat padded with cushions.

[pianodoodle]

I think they only really need everything pureed to a fine paste if they're 4 months. My MIL also thought give puree but again I think she started weaning much younger than 6 months.

DD's first grub at 6 months was some banana I just scraped off with a spoon - avocado, well steamed broccoli and stuff like that. I didn't fuss about how much she was actually getting in terms of a "meal" at that stage I just chucked a load of stuff at her her to have a go at and let her have fun with it.

She also like stewed apples and pears - really cheap to make you can freeze a load too!

If I did give her something off a spoon my mum showed me a good trick just to put a tiny bit on the tip and kind of scrape it off her top gum rather than shovel a load in at once :)

They learn by copying really so from before she was weaned she always sat with us and watched us have dinner etc... And had a spoon to play with etc...

[CrackleMauve]

Your HV is the confused one. Ignore her and the pushy relatives.

[ANormalOne]

MardyBra I think there is one but I couldn't find it.

[ANormalOne]

She does seem to be interested in it, she likes munching on the spoon if it's dipped into something, she just doesn't seem to like me putting it in her mouth, she won't open it and if I do get food in she swallows a tiny bit and pushes the rest out.

My HV has told me that if I do a mix i'll confuse her and I have to commit to doing it one way.

[CrackleMauve]

If you get the Gill Rapley book I'd suggest buying the cookbook rather than the other one. It is a bit repetitive and you get the same info in the cookbook, only shorter, and you get a load of recipes too.

Go to the library, see if they have a copy of it. Maybe check out Annabel Karmel too for the purée side. Take from both as you choose. Ignore the pushy relatives.