Please talk to me about your experiences of BLW and/or traditional weaning (title edited as thread moved from AIBU)

[IceNoSlice]

Or can someone please tell me why they chose traditional weaning over BLW?

I have just read the BLW book, all seems good but am thinking I've only seen half the argument. I want to consider whether purée and finger foods might be the way to go...

Ps sorry this isn't really an AIBU but wanted your attention. I clearly d

[mrsjay]

therhubarb that must have been terrifying

[IceNoSlice]

Thank you THERhubarb, yes what you're saying makes a lot of sense. I think part of it is that the guidelines seem to have changed so much over the years. It's hard to get a balanced take on it.

Sorry to hear about the milky star incident. That must have been terrifying.

[WafflesandWhippedCream]

I never like the idea of "doing" something - following some sort of parenting philosophy to the letter. As far as I see it BLW isn't about no puree, it is about your child feeding themselves exclusively - they pick up food and put it in their hair and ears mouths all by themselves.

I read the BLW book because a friend lent it to me, took on board some of what it said, but just played thing by ear when feeding DD.

I let her play with finger foods from the beginning, and I didn't cook separate meals for her, but I happily fed her with a spoon at other times.

I fed her family meals from the beginning, modifying them a bit at first (lots of mashed potato, couscous, sloppy stews and soups in the early days), but she generally had them from a spoon/my fingers rather than picking them up herself.

[mrsjay]

waffles i think that is sensible nothing wrong in looking for a bit of advice or info and then taking what you want/need from it

[IceNoSlice]

I think i know what you are saying veryworried29 - I should have posted in the proper topic.

So you came on to read this thinking you could read some juicy OP bashing and were annoyed it was actually someone who wanted people's genuine thoughts and experiences? Sorry to disappoint.

[Spatsky]

With my son I did the slow introduction of purées approach and he is a terrible eater. With my daughter (purely for convenience) she got a little portion of whatever the rest of us were eating and she is a fabulous eater.

On the flip side, we had a terrifying choking incident with my daughter (on a piece of fruit) where she was blue and I was on the phone with the ambulance when thank god the fruit popped out so I would never be too blasé about choking risks, I still cut up grapes now such is the paranoia that incident has left me with.

[IceNoSlice]

waffles thank you- that makes a lot of sense.

[IceNoSlice]

I've got to go now as the baby is waking up.

Thanks again for all your help.

[MrsBungleBear]

I fairness I do think.it's hard for first time parents. With my first, I read loads of books looking for the 'correct answer'.

It's all much easier second time with the benefit of experience.

I think.you learn just to trust yourself and get on with it and what suits you and your individual baby.

[THERhubarb]

ice is it precisely because guidelines always change that you need to go with some common sense. It's like eating and drinking for adults, look how often guidelines on what and how much you should eat and drink have changed.

Common sense is a very valuable tool. So try a few methods to see which one your baby prefers and which fits in with your lifestyle. Don't get too stressed about it and trust your own instinct.

The fact that you care so much in the first place is a good indication that your baby will turn out just fine

[firawla]

OP yabu there is never only one sensible way for anything and to call others ridiculous is very rude. have you not considered some children physically not able to feed themselves at 6 months, and in some cases even much longer. some children not able to handle all these textures either. in some cases purees is what works, as long as the child is fed and not left hungry then why the big deal. Your op is what is more ridiculous - broaden your horizons a little bit

[MrsBungleBear]

Spatsky - I still cut up grapes for my 4 year old, I worry about choking too.

[Flobbadobs]

As a new inexperienced mother 12 years ago I did purees graduating to lumpy from 4 months onwards. It worked so well I did it with my second child too. Again, it worked well so am currently at the end of doing it again for the third and final time. All good eaters, no issues, no problem for anyone.
Do what looks right for you and your baby.

[IceNoSlice]

Sorry to offend you firawla, but may I politely suggest you read the full post?

[Badvoc]

BLW is called finger food op.
It's not new and isn't clever.
Do what's right for you and your child.

[Flisspaps]

YABU.

And I BLW both of mine. It's not the option everyone chooses, AFAIC it was the right choice for my two but it doesn't make it superior or inferior to traditional weaning.

Also, to clarify:

You cannot 'mix' BLW and spoonfeeding - THAT is traditional weaning.

BLW isn't just finger food. It's feeding your baby what you feed yourself, not mashed up, not spoon fed to them. BLW is exclusive self feeding. So if you have soup and bread (for example) you give the baby soup, but with the bread broken up into it so they have something to hold onto. Yoghurt is either eaten with hands, or you load the spoon and pass it to the baby to put in their own mouth.

Babies can still choke on puree or mush. It's not a guarantee of safety, and all parents would be wise to gen up on paediatric first aid.

[Vagaceratops]

DD had finger foods - took to them really well, as did DS1

DS2 didnt have the co-ordination to get stuff in him mouth, and when he did he would choke. It was purée for him until about 13 months.

[IceNoSlice]

Flisspaps that is a good point about pediatric first aid. What would you suggest- a course, book, YouTube?

[FamiliesShareGerms]

MrsBungleBear - I guess some people feel happier reading a book and following directions because we have lost so much common sense and experience in how to bring up babies. "Back in the day" by the time we were weaning our own children, we would have had experience (directly or indirectly) of younger siblings, cousins, neighbours etc being weaned (and swaddled, and potty trained, and lots of other things that people fret about). As a society we are losing that traditional route of acquiring knowledge, so some people take a deep breath and follow their common sense, but lots of people don't have the confidence to do that so buy the books.

Sorry, bit off topic - and I'm one of the muddle along, do what I think best not what a book says, type mums, so not having a go at all! Just musing

[ReallyTired]

My daughter refused to take food off a spoon and self feeding was the only way to get her to eat. I don't think it does a baby any harm to be fed by spoon. The baby quickly tells you if he/she is unhappy. My son has not been damaged by traditional weaning.

Learning about food should be fun. I favour starting weaning when the child can sit up and is attempting to put stuff in their mouths. I think that some people take weaning far to seriously and get too hung up on what their child eats or worse still what their friend's child is eating.

The great thing about starting weaning at around six months is that you don't need to worry about what you can feed your child. They can eat almost anything. The only thing I would avoid with a baby is dairy and whole nuts. Prehaps I would seek advice on nuts and peanut butter if there is a history of problems in the family.

I favour giving a baby range of colourful interesting foods to explore. Ideally weaning is an extension of play. Food like banana sticks, mango, melon or black berries are nice squashable foods. Many babies like potato, peas, carrots and veg in general. Breadsticks are a great way of getting a child to get a puree if they refuse to take a spoon.

Mince or chicken is easier to eat than steak. You need to be a bit careful with fish because of small bones.

People need to lighten up. It really makes little difference how you wean your child.

[Lifeisontheup]

When I weaned first nearly 21 years ago the guidelines were to start at 4 months but I can't say I faffed around with separate meals for more than a couple of weeks, just whizzed up most of what we were having. They were happily feeding themselves by about 7 months and weren't fussy eaters.
I don't think I would have coped well with the gumming and gagging stage, I heave at the sound of someone gagging which would not have led to relaxed mealtimes.

I have difficulty understanding why there is so much angst attached to weaning now.

[wasabipeanut]

Agree with Autumnmadness statement about what matters bring that meals are a pleasant experience for all concerned and not an ideological battleground.

I just want my children to enjoy food as much as I do and eat a good, balanced diet. How I get there is incidental.

[HappyJoyful]

Reassuring to read this and know that I'm not the only one that can't stand this wanky phrases and stupid money making shite. Lots of the comments made me smile - just feed the baby, it's not rocket science.

This thread reflects all the variation of motherhood - some need and love the safety and comfort of having consulted a book or learnt a method to do something, I recall various friends saying 'I can't possibly do that until I've read the book' whilst other's parent's have strong loathing of this type of thing that as many state is just ultimately feeding a baby, but some have to have a name or a style to validate themselves.

All fuss and nonsense at end of day and I think just feed your baby in a way that you're happy with and more importantly works for them.

[Chandon]

why be so dogmatic, op? I always think it is a bit silly to be dogmatic about The Only Right Way to Parent....be that BLW, Attachment parenting, breastfeeding etc.

Some people become so overzealous and religious about these things.

Whereas anyone with more than one child knows that all kids are different. What works for baby one, may very well not work for baby two.

My oldest DS had terrible reflux, was nderweight, he could never drinkpowdered milk, but thrived on breastmilk and purees. Weaned him at 5-6 months. Due to the reflux and vomiting a lot he has always struggled with textures and lumps. So for him, exclusively breastfeeding and pureed food were the way to go. Breastfed him until he was 1.5

My second baby was large and greedy and breastmilk did not sate his hunger at 4 months, so introduced solids earlier, and added bottles too. He never liked purees much, but as a foody he started feeding himself at a very young age. He was on normal food very young. He lost interest in the boob around 8 months.

10 years later, they are both fine, neither has food related problems, neither is too fat or too thin, they eat pretty much the same.

There is more than one road leading to Rome, and keeping an open mind about your own baby, and how others parent their babies, is the way to stay sane, imo.

I am always surprised how judgy and dogmatic people are about their parenting choices.

[PaellaUmbrella]

I chose to go down the route of traditional weaning, ie purees from 6 months and then introduced finger foods from 7 months. I decided against pure BLW because:

1. I was terrifed of her choking
   
2. I wanted to be able to see how much she was actually eating
   
3. I wanted to be part of the process, ie. by spoonfeeding her
   
4. I thought that BLW was a big money making fad and it irritated me, as did its proponents.
   

By about 12 months she no longer wanted to be spoonfed, so we moved over entirely to self feeding. I have to admit, if I have another baby, I'll be more open to take a baby led approach from the beginning.