At what age?

[joanna02]

At what age should a child walk to School alone and also stop with hand holding?

My Daughter Lauren(7) will not walk to School unless I walk with her and also wants me to hold her hand anytime we go out.

She also gets lots of hugs/kisses throughout the day.

Another problem which I could do with getting advice on is; getting her to fasten up her coat, she refuses point blank to fasten it up, it could be pouring with rain yet she still will not fasten up the coat, I have to step in and fasten it up myself and say to her "it is raining outside, your coat needs fastened for you to stay dry but she just moans and says "but I don't want it fastened" to which I reply by firmly saying "tough, its raining so it is getting fastened up!".

Generally, I'd say secondary school. None of mine went alone before they left primary.

Depends on the kid though.

Very few 7-year-olds in the UK walk to school alone, in fact the school might not approve. They often won't release them to walk home alone until year 5 or 6 (age 9-11).

It depends how close to school you live and how safe the route is, but my son walked by himself sometimes from age 8/year 4, but we were living less than 5 minutes from school with only one road to cross (with a zebra crossing). My daughter didn't start walking to school by herself until age 10, because we now live 15 minutes' walk from school with more dangerous roads. Many children don't go alone until secondary school.

At 7, I think it's still fine if she wants to hold your hand. I'm sure that soon enough she will be embarrassed and not want to do it any more.

What about hand holding?

Plus, do I handle coat fastening problem well?

On the one hand you appear to be bothered that she is not independent, yet OTOH you are taking away any independence she shows.

FWIW, my dc1 started walking to or from school alone in Y5 (so 9/10yo). Dc2 walked to and from school with dc1 from Y4.

I still take my dcs' hands while walking or crossing roads. Their ages are from 7 to 13. I often hold my mum's hand when we walk together. It's affection, safety, security.

As far as coat fastening goes, if she doesn't fuss too much about you doing it up for her, then fine. If it turns into a big battle, I wouldn't bother. There will come a time quite soon when she does want to be more independent, and then you may find she won't wear a coat at all (just look at all the teenagers going to school in the freezing cold with no coats, because it's not cool to wear a coat).

Coat? Let her discover the consequences for herself. Does it really matter if she gets wet? May e if she's wearing a party frock, but school uniform will dry quickly and the school building will be warm.

Mine at 7 for DS1 and 5 for DD1 as she had her big brother. Village school was literally across the road and round the corner do I could see them and in the village everybody knows everything so nothing happens without some busy body knowing about it

I would say year 5 for walking to school. If my seven year old doesn't want to fasten her coat that is up to her. She usually changes her mind which gives me a chance to trill"Mother knows best" which is a bonus.

Dd1+2 walked with friends from beginning of YR 5 so 8/9ish. I walked to school alone but with friends in the infants back in the 80s about age 6/7, most kids seemed to

Think they stopped holding my hand at 5ish unless crossing a busy road

She can fasten up her coat but it usually takes time so refusing to do it is her way of trying to get her own way, to answer an above comment, no, she doesn't fuss when its being fastened.

In response to the post which mentions consequences, she knows that an unfastened coat=getting wet, she has complained numerous times at being wet at School because she leaves it unfastened, it could be freezing outside and still she'd not fasten it, she would shiver and when I asked her to "fasten your coat" she would ignore me, she would get some stares from public when they saw a 7yr old out in freezing cold with an unfastened coat.

FWIW, she has a Red Regatta coat which she is very fond of so not wearing it isn't an issue.

Then you either chill about it, telling her once to do her coat up and not responding beyond a quiet "yes, it is chilly" if she complains, or you chill about it and do up her coat in thr first place without any fuss or comment.

Think she may just be lazy and want things done for her, she is same with shoes, she can tie her shoelaces but it takes a while.

I would rather she fastened her own coat up because she can do it so, any tips on how to get that to happen?

Just because she can, does not mean she must.

Perhaps she feels that you are pushing her towards independence a bit too quickly for her, besides giving her mixed messages about independence.

Why are you bothered by your little girl wanting to hold your hand My DD is 9 and still automatically puts her hand in mine when we are out walking - and long may she continue to do so.

I am not bothered, where do I state that I am bothered? All I asked was at what age does a child normally ease off from holding hands! As far as I am concerned, she can carry on for as long as she wants.

In response to SixImpossible, of course she must because if she is capable then she should do it herself, what will she do when I'm not there plus, its only fastening a zip on a coat ffs, it is no hardship :/!

I am capable of changing a lightbulb. So is dh. Does not mean that either of us must change a lightbulb. Dh is taller than me and does not need a ladder, so I ask him to do it. If he is not around, then, unless I need the light immediately, I do not do it myself 'because I can therefore I must', but I let it wait for him.

Can does not equal must.

As I have said, it is fastening up a coat, it is no hardship.

She complains when she gets wet or is cold whilst outside in rain so getting her to fasten the coat stops that complaint.

When it is Winter time, it will be getting fastened everyday because our Winters can be harsh.

What child gets a coat zipped for them, especially if they can do it? She must get embarrassed because older children are staring and laughing at her for getting zipped up, she has even been verbally bullied at School for getting her coat fastened for her.

My dc3 is 7. He can zip his own coat up and he can tie his own shoelaces. Nonetheless I sometimes do it for him. I have often seen classmates having their coats done up by parents when they come out from school. Nobody comments at all. It is a complete non-issue. Perhaps your dd's classmates are picking up on your irritation.

I'm leaving this thread now, because your insistence on wedging your dd into your preconceived mould is really irritating me.

When she is at School though, she does it herself, same when she is with her dad because he tells her that she has to do it herself, if she doesn't, then it is a "smacked bottom".

She only wants it done for her when I am there, probably because I will, I don't mind doing it as it only takes a few seconds, I am against doing it but do it because I don't want her getting cold/wet.

Plus, so have I seen parents at School gate zipping coats, but that is only 5-6yr olds.

Tbh, if DD is happy for me to zip up her coat, I will until she decides to do it herself.

Why are both of your posts (welcome to Mumsnet) in UK?

And why do you keep talking about a smacked bottom?