To give back loan pony?

[Snowdays23]

I have a lovely horse on loan that I have had for 4 years. Yard is 30 minutes away which is depressing. Its winter so feeling fed up too.
I feel like I dont want to ride anymore, I am a nervous rider too. My DD15 loves the pony and would be devestated.
He costs me so much money and with the cost of living everything is now so expensive. I feel so torn with what to do because we love him.

Can't you move to a yard closer to you? Sadly this is the reality of owning a horse unless you can go on Full Livery. I always give mine a holiday November-February as that eases the pressure to ride when its dark and miserable plus horses do need holidays the same as we do!
They are a lifestyle not a hobby but are also a luxury so if you are struggling to afford it then maybe it's not the right time to be loaning.

Hi thanks for your reply.
Maybe I need to stop putting pressure on myself to ride.
There are a few yards nearer but I worry about having to move him but maybe we do need a change

Winter is all about survival and getting through to better weather. This winter has been especially miserable so far, every horse owner I know is fed up and we aren't even halfway through!

I don’t think winter is a good time for any horse owners. I’d wait until the nicer weather to make a decision as your judgement is understandably skewed atm by the awful weather!

Id also look at closer yards too as 30 minutes is a lot twice a day.

You have my sympathies, everything feels grim this time of year - your DD being 15 is a tricky age too as their school work really steps up plus other commitments (social/hobbies/part time job/boy or girlfriend) which can make finding time for the pony hard - on the plus side however if she wants to commit to keeping him she can soon do more of the care independently (on our yard they can ride etc without supervision from 16). I do think a move to somewhere closer so your DD could cycle or bus to the yard without you having to ferry her would be ideal - and a winter break isn't a bad thought although for me it depends on your turnout situation, if he can live out 24/7 then that's ideal for giving him time off, if he has to be stabled for a significant part of the day with poor quality turnout he may need more exercise for his welfare - but this could be ground work or long lining or similar if you don't want to ride?

I think a serious conversation with your DD about involving her in the plans for the future is called for, at 15 she is (hopefully) mature enough to be involved in the decision making rather than just getting to be passively devastated without being part of the solution - she presumably understands how much work and money it costs to keep the pony, how much of that is she able realistically to take on herself either contributing financially by getting a Saturday job when she's 16 or practically by doing more of the work herself? You might need gently though to take the decision for her that that will have too much impact on her alongside studies and having a wider life as well, she doesn't need her own pony to stay involved in horsey life, she could have lessons and maybe help out at a local riding school to keep her hand in without the commitment of her own horse. That being said if the child is really committed having horses through the school years can be a wonderful stress reliever and teaches them a lot of life skills as well so if she really wants to keep going with the loan pony I'd do my best to facilitate that...

I have my own horses. I'd say give it up. If you're a nervous rider and are fed up with horse care give yourself a break now. Your daughter can have riding lessons and it will save you so much money.

30 minutes twice a day is daft. I gave up for a while until I could afford full livery. Best decision ever for me.

If you’re nervous riding, and the chores are a drudgery I would cut my losses and spend my money on some confidence giving lessons and enjoying my riding.

Sorry, I only go once a day.
Like someone said maybe I shouldnt make an decisions at the moment because of the weather.
Turn out is awful and he;s been in so much recently which I dont like.
Maybe need to look for somewhere closer to home

What options are there for closer yards? No way would I be on a yard 30 minutes away unless it really was the only option. I'd not worry about moving him if you can somewhere with better turnout and closer. Try your local FB horsey pages for other livery options - many of them don't advertise. I rent a couple of acres on a very small yard that never advertises but somehow has a waiting list - and it's 24/7 turnout with great big shelters plus the option of a stable - which no-one ever uses except for storage or tacking up!

Could you get a sharer to take on some of the burden both cost and chore wise?

Mine are about 20 mètres away and out all year and it's still particularly grim this winter.

Tell the owner you are struggling to give them the heads up and may be some solutions will come from that.

It's a vile winter for sure, we've gone straight from a cool, wet or ridiculously hot summer into winter, barely any autumn to ease us into it.

But 2 weeks til the nights pull out!

Have a chat with dd, see what she wants to do maybe?

Being closer makes so much difference I find. I moved from 20 minutes away to 5 (though I moved house rather than horse!), and it makes it all seem so much easier - even with the rotten weather.

Just another week until the night start drawing out though. That's what I keep telling myself anyway as I poo pick by head torch calf deep in mud 🙈. OP I'd wait as others have said - see how you feel in a couple of months when there is literal light at the end of the tunnel. I'd also consider moving somewhere closer with better turnout

Hi everyone.
Still feeling the same 😪
Pony was really naughty with me few weeks back on our hack, ive lost my confidence AGAIN. I just dont know what to do. Feel like i dont want to ride but then I do but would rather a hack on a riding school pony!

Have you spoken to dd? How does she feel?

my dd stopped riding last summer, just before going into year 11. She was a little sad but felt it was the right timing.

I'd speak to your DD. If she is coming up to GCSEs (and then A levels/whatever next) it might be a good time to take a break, especially if you aren't enjoying the pony.

You could agree an alternative - if you are spending x amount a month now, could you ring-fence most/some of that for regular hacks at a riding school, or riding holidays together instead?

If DD has friends at the yard, is there an opportunity for a share/helping out a friend in exchange for a ride a day or so a week?

I’d at least let the owner know you’re considering handing him back - it'll be easier for them to find next loaner this time of year than if you wait till autumn.
We have our own yard at home, but DD struggled to have extra time at 15. It doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying it much and 30min is quite a distance to be travelling.

I havent spoke to DD yet but am planning on it. She's hardly been coming to the yard lately. I did think I would be quite happy with just a hack at a riding school every now and then. Maybe finding a little share for my 9year old as she is also very much into riding.

After Easter I am also going to be working more hour and dont really want to pay even more for full livery on extra days...

have you spoken to your daughter? can she ride? she could ride him after school to take pressure off you. 30 minutes is quite a way and a big chunk of time travelling from your day. move somewhere closer to you if poss. i have mine 10 mins away which is perfect. hopefully all works out for you as horses are such a tonic and so good for the children. spring is supposed to be on its way too which makes things easier. on the other hand if you can't make it work for you then that's fine too! you could always give loan pony back and have a break.you could look at loaning another, another time x

If you’re not enjoying riding, I’d give it up.

It all costs far too much time and money if you’re not enjoying it.

I would have a think about moving closer to home first though, I moved mine 5 minutes from home last year and it has made it all a lot easier.

Our new yard doesn’t have spanking facilities like our old one did, but I’ve come to realise I don’t actually care, not having to drive 30 minutes each way twice a day is far more important to me.

Winter is just a test of endurance. I never rode in winter, as the jobs were enough. Maybe move pony a bit closer if you can and see how you feel at the start of next winter.